Some Desperate Glory

CW: contains sexist, homophobic, transphobic, racist & ableist attitudes, sexual assault including discussion of forced pregnancy, violence, child abuse, radicalisation as child abuse, genocide, suicidal ideation, and suicide (this info is from the author)

Probably a 3.5 and I'm rounding up to 4 but I'm not totally convinced.

I haven't read the author's previous novella duology but I've been very curious and eager to get to this book since I first saw the announcement. So I was definitely very excited when I got the audiobook from the publisher. Now, it did take me days to finish this but if it was the usual times, I could have probably done with it in a single sitting or two but my health these days doesn't let me focus for too long, so it took a little while. While I'm still unsure of the rating I've given, it was overall an enjoyable book.

I think I'm gonna have to talk randomly in this review instead of my usual organized style because my thoughts about this book feel very disjointed. Firstly, it's an easy and accessible read, something I usually wouldn't associate with an adult sci-fi novel, so maybe it was aimed at having more YA crossover appeal. The sciency aspects of it are treated more like a mysterious magic system in a fantasy world - there's a lot of “winging it” going on, not much explanation, but we kind of get what's happening - so it'll definitely work for a reader like me who isn't too much into hard sci-fi. There are a couple of twists - particularly the one at the halfway mark which was very surprising and kept me eagerly going - but otherwise the plot kind of moves in a predictable fashion. There are also multiple moments which feel like dues ex machina, but I will try to talk about it more in detail in the next paragraphs. If you don't want to read more of my thoughts about the themes (I'll try to avoid spoilers), you can probably stop reading my review now. My conclusion here would be it's an engaging enough sci-fi book if you go in with the right expectations, with some great action sequences but hand wavy science, and overall a simplistically written story.

Coming to what I'm still ruminating about. I had huge expectations from this book. The marketing of it as “queer space opera” was very enticing, the premise also felt very intriguing, and Shelley's blurb was very tempting, leading me to expect something much more explosive. Which this book is admittedly not. I also knew that the book had themes like racism, homophobia, transphobia, gender essentialism and more and am usually highly interested in checking out books with these themes and see how they are explored, which is where I think this book faltered.

I like the ambition of the author to want to tackle these issues. The setting of this story on a futuristic spaceship which is run more like fascist death cult, brainwashing children into believing the roles they are groomed for, bent on revenge against the alien species majoda for the destruction of earth - is actually very conducive for exploring the various themes in detail - but there are many limiting factors that come into play. The fact that it's a standalone book means the author needs to cram everything into less than 500 pages; which leads to a lot less nuance for each theme and more superficiality; we also only get to follow one POV (except for a few interludes which were excerpts from books or articles about humanity and were quite fun to read) and reading the whole story from the pov of one young brainwashed girl limits the scope a lot, because we are forced to see the world only through her small imagination. It was definitely worth it to see Kyr go from a completely believing in her destiny, brainwashed fascist bully to someone who slowly understands when the lies are peeled off, comes to terms with the fact that the foundation of her life was a lie, and decides to do something about it. But because we don't get the perspectives of anyone else, they all essentially become vessels to educate her about the lies and show the ugly truth. If I think even a bit deeply, it was actually hilarious that every other character in Kyr's orbit seems to realize that they are living in a death cult and what they are being taught is wrong, except Kyr who thinks it is her life's duty to avenge the lives of 14 billion souls lost on earth despite not even being born at the time of the destruction.

Gender essentialism and women being forced to bear children (or technically just male soldiers) is very much a core one philosophy of this cult and we as readers can feel it underneath the plot, but the way Kyr realizes that truth is very sudden and I felt there was not enough depth or reflection about something so important. There is one token character of color who understands she is the token, can see the racism and the forced homogeneity in the breeding techniques in their cult, but ofcourse she has to bear the burden of opening Kyr's eyes to this. Even the fact that homophobia is wrong is something she has to realize due to dire personal circumstances, because otherwise she is homophobic herself and even her queer awakening felt not enough. I liked Kyr's growth but I think the impact of the story would have been better if we could have seen how the other characters were much more thoughtful than her and didn't fall for the propaganda completely.

As my friend Celeste has explained very well in her review, the other major themes of the book are revenge and the presence of an omnipotent/omniscient AI called wisdom. I liked the fact that we see Kyr grow out of her revenge craving xenophobic mindset to someone more compassionate and thoughtful, and we get to ruminate about who is worth saving and who is not and who gets to decide when one is in life and death circumstances. I liked that after some introspection by Kyr, we get to see more of the realization that sacrificing one's life for a higher purpose isn't always a good thing, sometimes just being alive is important, and violence and killing is really not justified in most circumstances and definitely not on a mass scale. Some of the deaths felt really impactful due to the fact that they really were a waste, but then the impact was lost because of the dues ex machina, namely the AI Wisdom.

The book definitely tries to make the point that even an omnipotent AI whose purpose to make a decision based on the best possible outcome for most beings, is not really a good thing. And I agree wholeheartedly with that point. Whether it's humans or in this book world, the various alien species, it's imperative that everyone gets to make a choice about their futures and not delegate it to a godlike AI (or maybe even powerful cult leaders), absolving oneself of responsibility. But this AI is the one plot device the author uses to warp realities and give the main character multiple chances to make different choices; the presence of the AI is also used to wing a lot of the sciency bits without having to explain any of the technical elements of the world building which ultimately just feels shallow; and the use of the AI as dues ex machina multiple times blunts the possible emotional punches, ultimately leaving me very very dissatisfied towards the end.

So looks like I've gone on a huge pointless rant here. If you've read till here, thank you so much for your patience. And as for what I ultimately feel about this book, I liked it enough but definitely was not satisfied. Maybe it was my fault for having too many expectations. But I think the story could have been better if it was more than a standalone, so that all the themes the author wanted to could have been explore in depth across multiple books. Now it just feels surface level and not enough. However, at the end, I do have to commend Sena Bryer for the excellent narration of the audiobook which definitely made this story a better experience.