The 5 Love Languages

Fantastic concept. Poor book.

The writing very much assumes traditional gender roles (what about two full-time workers? This is a very obvious omission) and after the first two chapters I was sick of the stereotyped use of “he/she” when “they” would be perfectly reasonable. The author's constant hero self-worship was tiring after 4 pages, let alone the entire book. When I got to the end of the book (and did some Googling) and realised that Chapman is an evangelical preacher, his world-view made more sense.

My least favourite part was when I got to the chapter on “Physical Touch”. This is my own love language but Chapman managed to make me feel gross about it. When Chapman wrote about how he used a woman's Christian faith to tell her she regularly have sex with a husband she clearly disliked (because God would rather she have miserable sex than get a divorce) it made me feel that “Physical Touch” was purely about selfish receipt of sex rather than a shared experience. This is a very icky position and a disappointing perspective to read given there are so many ways to communicate this common imbalance in physical desires in relationships.

I honestly think the “5 love languages” concept is important to understand to better communicate with your partner. This isn't the book to learn this in.