The autobiography of Santa Claus

The Autobiography of Santa Claus as told to: Jeff Guinn. Guinn is known as a great biographer, and as this actually reads like it's a real biography, I'll give him that. However if this was really at all enjoyable, than I would have had it finished before Christmas. This dragged. It spent an unbelievable amount of time in the “pre-Santa” timeframe and it cuts out right when it's getting good. I think I've always personally looked at Santa Claus as an aside to Christianity, or like Christmas' capitalism cousin. But this biography really doubles down on Santa, or “Saint Nicholas” really really being tied to Christ. Which is fine really, that's not what I disliked overall anyway. But what I find the most disturbing here is the gross misrepresentation of world history. Whereas Santa Claus is mostly known as mystical or magical and therefore whimsical and silly, this is written as a TRUE story and biographical piece and therefore it is truly adult. Therefore, I cannot forgive the way history is told. Instead of elves, Santa recruits real people. These people are hardly ever nobodies and the book just reads like a weird, and stupid name-drop piece. Not to mention his choices aren't even saintly people or good people? One of them is Attila the Hun?? Also at one point the good Christian St. Nick calls Charlemagne a “good and just leader” and didn't he drown hundreds of thousands of people for not converting? The onus is not on you Santa to support Christians who are bad... To me it just read as a really weird, misleading story rather than an uplifting and whimsical one. Which is honestly, all Santa Claus ought to be. 

Personally, I did not like this, and the closest I've been to a DNF in a long time.