The Chimp Paradox

Having had this book recommended to me by multiple people and read numerous reviews giving it high praise, I went in with high expectations. Even considering this, I found myself underwhelmed and extremely bored the entire way. I usually prefer to listen to this type of book via audible to experience better engagement but the audible version did the opposite and I just could not stay focused on the topic at hand. It seems a lot of extractions were made to help people better analyse their behaviour and to improve upon it however it seems to target people who have never taken a moment to self reflect or to form an opinion on their general behaviour and how it affects others. However, with the above being said it still had flickers of immense wisdom and has impacted me sufficiently enough to consider its “tips”.

How to outsmart your inner monkey.

The Chimp Paradox (2012) is about the complicated and crazy mess that is the human brain. These blinks explain why people can be calm, rational and composed one minute and irrational and irate the next. Learn how you can keep your cool when faced with triggering situations. The book was written by Professor Steve Peters. He is an acclaimed psychiatrist who specializes in improving the performance and functionality of people's brains. He works with a number of successful business people and athletes, such as the players of the FC Liverpool soccer team.

My Notes:
This chimp-like part of our brain affects our decisions, emotions and how we interact with other people. Sometimes it's in conflict with the more rational and human side of our brain and makes us behave in ways we might otherwise try to avoid.

The human brain has two primary ways of thinking that easily come into conflict with one another.

Our brains are divided into two distinct parts. The first is the “human,” or rational, part, which is located in the frontal lobe. This part of the brain thinks and acts based on facts. The second part, which lives in the limbic system, is known as the inner chimp. The functions of this section of the brain are more primitive and immediate. In other words, the chimp part of the brain acts based on feelings and emotions. Naturally these two ways of processing information can easily come into conflict, and when they do, the chimp brain often prevails.

To avoid these uncomfortable clashes, it's key for the human brain to actively manage the chimp brain.

Manage your inner chimp by giving it room to vent.

First, in any given interaction, you should begin by determining which section of your brain is directing your behavior: Is it the human or the chimp? To figure this out, you can ask yourself simple questions that begin with, “Do I want...?” By answering them, you'll learn which part of the brain you're following.For instance, you might ask yourself, “Do I want to behave this way?” or “Do I want to feel these feelings?” If you answer no to these questions, it's a sure sign that the chimp is in control.

Reign in this emotional side of yourself by giving it a little exercise. We're not talking jumping rope or jogging. Rather, exercising your inner chimp is about giving it the freedom to vent.

For this technique to be effective, a truly safe environment is absolutely necessary.

Automatic functioning is essential to human existence, but it has a destructive side.

It's called the computer and it's responsible for automatic functions based on learned patterns.This is essential since autopilot plays a major role in the lives of most humans. Such automatic behavior is based on patterns you've learned, beliefs you've absorbed and programs you've established.

However, not all automation is useful. There are also nefarious elements to the automatic functioning of the brain. These are called goblins. They're the destructive patterns you've formed based on lived experience and, just like their useful counterparts, they're stored in your computer.

Do all one can to discourage the formation of goblins.

Get rid of your goblins by identifying them and replacing them with positive alternatives.

To handle them, you'll need to get your computer into shape, and that means implanting positive patterns. Here's how to do it:First, you need to identify which goblins actually reside within your computer. This initial step is essential since both the chimp and the human parts of your brain look to the computer when they don't know how to act. And if there's a goblin in the computer – say, a negative behavioral pattern – the result will be unsettling for both the emotional chimp and the rational human.Unfortunately, goblins are often well hidden, resulting in all kinds of issues.

Once you've figured out that there's a goblin in your computer, you can simply replace it with a positive pattern.

From there, you should be attentive to your state of mind and work to notice when the negative goblin rears its head. Every time it does, just replace it with the positive view until it becomes absolutely automatic. If you can manage to build in this new autopilot, you'll eventually deal with difficult situations politely, without even giving it a second thought.

The chimp tends to forget that different people have different brains.

Being able to hear where other people are coming from is essential to navigating the world, and if you want to do this well, you need to calm down your chimp. Once you do, you'll realize that different people have different brains. This might come as a surprise since people tend to assume that the brains of others work just like theirs. But this assumption inevitably leads to misunderstandings, which in turn anger the chimp.

First, don't assume anything about other people. Just because someone appears distant or distracted doesn't necessarily imply that they're unfriendly. They might just be dealing with a personal problem you know nothing about.Second, don't have unreasonable expectations of others. After all, people make mistakes and expecting them to be perfect all the time is a recipe for disappointment. And, finally, it's essential to abandon all prejudice, both positive and negative. It's best to simply take people as they are and try to get to know them.

People communicate in four basic ways, and knowing how to get your point across without getting aggressive is key.

Let's take a look at the four basic ways that people communicate, all of which involve your chimp and human brains. First, your human brain can communicate with another human brain. Second, your human brain can communicate with someone else's chimp brain. Third, your chimp can communicate with another person's human brain and, finally, your chimp can communicate with another chimp.In this final scenario, the results tend to be pretty ugly and the resulting calamity is familiar to anyone who has seen a couple in an argument. To avoid such unpleasantness, let's take a look at how to set up ideal conditions from the get-go.

Deal with issues as they arise and to speak in an assertive but not aggressive way. People tend to talk about such problems with everyone but the person they have an issue with.

Assertiveness, on the other hand, is about explaining where you're coming from.

Getting healthy is easy if you focus on solutions instead of problems.

When faced with this contradiction, focusing on problems like being overweight will only strengthen your inner chimp, since the worse you feel about yourself, the more you'll seek out the quick comforts of junk food and laziness. So, instead of falling into this trap, just focus on what you want. In this case, that means getting some exercise and shedding a few pounds.In other words, to get healthy, you've got to be both proactive and responsive. The former means having a plan and the latter means that, if your plan fails, you'll be able to regroup and patch things together.

Instead of dwelling on your failures, try telling your workout buddy how much you enjoy your gym time and how much progress you're making. Such a simple comment will encourage your emotional chimp, whose only goal is to feel good and save face. Chances are, you'll happily turn up at the gym next time around to prove to your friend that you were serious.

Seek out happiness and celebrate your victories.

Happiness is actually a choice? That doesn't mean that you get to be happy whenever you want, but, rather, that life has its ups and downs, and that you can actively work to have more good times and fewer bad ones.

It's all about adding good things to your life. Remember: there's nothing superficial about seeking out what you need to be happy.

The real issue with happiness is that the chimp part of your brain will never be satisfied; it will always seek out more, dangerously leading to achievement, but not happiness.

Final summary
The key message in this book:Your brain is composed of distinct parts, each operating according to its own internal logic. Some are rational, thoughtful and objective, while others are highly emotional and impulsive or simply automatic. While such differences can naturally come into conflict, you can manage them through awareness and training.