The Courage to Be Disliked

I didn't like this book. Although I believe it has important ideas, they're presented in such shallow arguments that it harmed the message for me.

The book presents the psychology of Alfred Adler in the form of conversations between a philosopher and a young man. This should not be a problem, but the authors fail to craft a credible conversation, instead forcing some topics to direct the conversation to wherever they need to.

My main issue with this book is not this one, but the choice to present complex arguments with no nuance, often with poor analogies or bad extrapolations.

For example, in one chapter the young man challenges the idea of task separation. In very simple terms, this is the idea that you should focus exclusively on your responsibilities and never interfere with other people's tasks.

So the challenge presented comes at a time when the young man has accepted the value of the idea, but considers it unfeasible in real life.

The philosopher then tells the story of Alexander the Great and the Gordian Knot. Although it can present some visual analogy of what task separation is, how is that a valid counterpoint to the challenge presented? Am I to accept that if a conqueror was able to cut a knot, then I can not interfere with my loved ones' responsibilities? What?

It also seemed to me as if the authors were being intentionally controversial at times. Arguing that getting other people's attention is the sole motivation behind a teenager's suicidal attempt seems shallow at best, irresponsible at worst.

All that being said, it's clear to me why this book is so popular. It presents powerful ideas, most of which resonated with me. The book has sparked my interest in Adlerian psychology.

This last point saved the book from only getting one star. I'll put this one as a 2/5. Hope to find better argued content on the same topics.