The Course of Love
Ratings22
Average rating4.2
15
Ratings22
Average rating4.2
We all know the headiness and excitement of the early days of love. But what comes after? In Edinburgh, a couple, Rabih and Kirsten, fall in love. They get married, they have children but no long-term relationship is as simple as happily ever after. "The Course of Love" is a novel that explores what happens after the birth of love, what it takes to maintain love, and what happens to our original ideals under the pressures of an average existence.
How does love survive and thrive in the long term? In Edinburgh, Rabih and Kirsten, fall in love, get married, have children. But this is their story after the first flush of infatuation. As Rabih and Kirsten reform their ideals under the pressures of an average existance, they discover that love is a skill that needs to be learned, and not just experienced.
Reviews with the most likes.
I think I heard this book recommended on a podcast, but I don't remember which one or in what context it was recommended - something rather insightful was said, I would wager, such that I immediately requested the book from my library.
I wish I could say I loved it, but I feel pretty lukewarm. On the one hand, this is an insightful longitudinal study in a very ordinary marriage, allowing the reader into the view of how epic and dramatic any ordinary marriage becomes. I thought the pieces of relationship psychology were interesting and are well-supported by the literature (according to my friend who majored in Psychology and gets an intellectual hard-on anytime “attachment theory” is mentioned). I dog-eared a bunch of pages to make sure I write down and internalize what is unequivocally good relationship advice.
But on the other hand, the writing leaves me unimpressed. It reads like a didactic case study, not a novel (and I should know, I work in textbooks). The characters are over-explained - classic telling vs showing (come on, that's Good Writing 101!). The dialogue is forced, if not cringe-worthy, and I skimmed a whole lot. But the parts that hit home will stay with me a long time.
So... maybe pick this up, but more as a kind of cheesy educational resource than an exciting read.
One sentence synopsis... A post-happily-ever-after love story told by a wise, all-seeing narrator and sprinkled with philosophical reflections. .
Read it if you like... 500 Days of Summer, both in it's use of a detached, sincere, and sometime humorous narrator and also the reality of the romance. .
Dream casting... Dev Patel as Rabih and Normal People's Daisy Edgar-Jones as Kirsten.
An intimate journey with a couple of mixed origin. A means to think over the difficulties a modern couple has to face throughout their lives. A reflection on what it means to be a good wife or husband, or partner, and a way to survive with all our imperfections, without being alone with someone on the other side of the bed. There a gems here, thoughts that will make you want to re-read this particular book, paragraphs you might feel tempted to save just in case...
Oh man. If I only got to read Alain de Botton's work from this moment forward, I would not complain. I am so giddishly excited about discovering de Botton, it's like I'm a child again (:
You know when you read a book and it is so good that you don't want to read anything else because there is no way it will live up to that book's standard? This is me, right now.
The Course Of Love is an incredible piece of writing, mingling non-fictitious philosophy with the fictional tale of Rabih and Kirsten, from the moment they met through their marriage and their children and all the ups and downs you could ever expect in a relationship. It's so so beautifully done. My copy is highlighted all over.
I want to make everyone read this. It should be required reading before anyone is allowed to be in a relationship. I'm reconsidering all of my 5 star reviews now because I feel like this book has actually (and I don't say this lightly) changed my perspective in life. I can't wait to read more de Botton and compare shockingly mediocre books to his fabulousness. The standard has been set.
