The Everything Box by Richard Kadrey

Reminiscent of the edgy, offbeat humor of Chris Moore and Matt Ruff, the first entry in a whimsical, fast-paced supernatural series from the New York Times bestselling author of the Sandman Slim novels—a dark and humorous story involving a doomsday gizmo, a horde of baddies determined to possess its power, and a clever thief who must steal it back . . . again and again. 22000 B.C. A beautiful, ambitious angel stands on a mountaintop, surveying the world and its little inhabitants below. He smiles because soon, the last of humanity who survived the great flood will meet its end, too. And he should know. He’s going to play a big part in it. Our angel usually doesn’t get to do field work, and if he does well, he’s certain he’ll get a big promotion. And now it’s time . . . . The angel reaches into his pocket for the instrument of humanity’s doom. Must be in the other pocket. Then he frantically begins to pat himself down. Dejected, he realizes he has lost the object. Looking over the Earth at all that could have been, the majestic angel utters a single word. “Crap.” 2015. A thief named Coop—a specialist in purloining magic objects—steals and delivers a small box to the mysterious client who engaged his services. Coop doesn’t know that his latest job could be the end of him—and the rest of the world. Suddenly he finds himself in the company of The Department of Peculiar Science, a fearsome enforcement agency that polices the odd and strange. The box isn’t just a supernatural heirloom with quaint powers, they tell him. It’s a doomsday device. They think . . . And suddenly, everyone is out to get it.

Okay, this book was ridiculously fun. My ratings are really just that, marking how much I enjoyed stuff, so yeah. No, this book was not absolutely brilliantly written, I just picked it up at the right time, I guess. Also, funny enough, I seem to really like funny books in connection with Biblical stuff. I'm a filthy unbeliever, but shit, I do appreciate when people have lighthearted humour in connection with stuff like religion. I don't think it means disrespect, but the world has humour. That is just how I feel about it, so yeah, if you are sensitive about religious themes, this is probably not a book for you. You've been warned. Qapsiel, an angel with a ridiculous name got sent to Earth to take this little box that can nuke humanity to shit. Ya know, we probably deserved it. This angel is a bit of a moron, though, which celestial beings have the right to be, so he manages to lose the box that can eradicate human life. Not the best move. Fast forward to now, the protagonist, Coop, a magic resistant robber needs to steal this box. Then shit hits the fan even worse. We have some Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels type action with undead people, supernatural FBI, TWO separate satanic cults and basically everyone trying to get this box. The thing that sold the book to me was the humour, really. Everyone is an idiot, cults sabotage each other's bake sale, everyone has funny little lines about stuff. It's really easy to read and fun like that. Popcorn stuff. The story itself if... not particularly special or inventive or anything, but I could enjoy the book equivalent of comfort food. Not sure if it's just me being used to absurdly long fantasy series, but at this point I have a hard time getting attached to characters in stand alone novels. This wasn't even a very long one. So yeah, I wasn't too worried about the characters, the tone doesn't really sell you on there being any actual big danger, so there is that. It just felt pleasant to relax with some fun stuff after the suspenseful disgusting monster journey of [b:The Monstrumologist 7171771 The Monstrumologist (The Monstrumologist, #1) Rick Yancey https://d.gr-assets.com/books/1320124102s/7171771.jpg 6647553]. (I wrote a review on that one, cross promo.) Not really sure what I should say about this. I would definitely recommend it for reading in your bath or on vacation on the beach. Good giggles there, not too hard to follow the story, not even if you get distracted by bikinis and beach balls every five minutes. Richard Kadrey has surprising amounts of books on my to-read list. I don't know why his stuff intrigues me that much, but hey. This one was a pleasant enough experience to prompt me to pick up his other stuff. I guess that is a win for him. Or me. I mean I am having fun. See you at the cult bake sale, bring brownies with double hate!

As an avid fan of mystical/religious themes, I had high hopes for this book. I wouldn't say I'm exactly disappointed so much as I was underwhelmed. In the beginning of the book, the main character Coop comes off as a Shadow Moon type, strong, a little scary, not so silent but full of sarcastic humor and quick jabs. The trouble comes with all the other supporting characters in the book. Most of the main antagonists act like stupid caricatures of what they should be or are reduced to the most basic level of character to move the plot along.

From reading the little blurb on the back, I thought this was going to be more like a Good Omens situation. I was not correct. The character whose POV the snippet is from is rarely seen in the book, and he is not very compelling when he is there. Think of an early Castiel, and that's about the gist. He is very innocent and bored and does not have much going on in general. The book proceeds to jump between multiple points of view, ranging from our main character Coop, to a doomsday cult leader who feels like a suburban white dad who happens to crave the end of the world and has very stupid followers, another Apocalypse cult leader who is old and frail and is basically just waiting to die who also has very stupid followers, to a mysterious stranger travelling by foot to get in on the action and just causing fuckery and being cryptic along the way (and I absolutely loved this character until the end). In the end, everyone comes together in a (to me) very anticlimactic ending.

Now, I may be too harsh on it. I was hoping for a cool book about the possible end of the world with interesting themes and some weird world building thrown in. Maybe some re-told biblical stories or hidden information. What this book actually gives you is mostly a LaCroix version of a heist / crime novel. Enough to count and be recognizable, but not enough to be completely satisfying.

All in all, I enjoyed the book for what it was, but I would not put it on my list of favorites. It's a fun read that is easy to follow with characters that are sarcastically funny and entertaining.