The Four Tendencies
Ratings17
Average rating3.4
15
Ratings17
Average rating3.4
In this groundbreaking analysis of personality type, bestselling author of Better Than Before and The Happiness Project Gretchen Rubin reveals the one simple question that will transform what you do at home, at work, and in life. During her multibook investigation into understanding human nature, Gretchen Rubin realized that by asking the seemingly dry question "How do I respond to expectations?" we gain explosive self-knowledge. She discovered that based on their answer, people fit into Four Tendencies: Upholders, Questioners, Obligers, and Rebels. Our Tendency shapes every aspect of our behavior, so using this framework allows us to make better decisions, meet deadlines, suffer less stress, and engage more effectively. More than 600,000 people have taken her online quiz, and managers, doctors, teachers, spouses, and parents already use the framework to help people make significant, lasting change. The Four Tendencies hold practical answers if you've ever thought: • People can rely on me, but I can't rely on myself. • How can I help someone to follow good advice? • People say I ask too many questions. • How do I work with someone who refuses to do what I ask—or who keeps telling me what to do? With sharp insight, compelling research, and hilarious examples, The Four Tendencies will help you get happier, healthier, more productive, and more creative. It's far easier to succeed when you know what works for you.
Reviews with the most likes.
3.5 stars. While I really loved Better Than Before, I felt like this book was a bit too basic as a follow-up to all the actionable strategies and tips in her previous book. For avid fans of the Happier podcast and Rubin's blog, this material isn't going to be anything new.
I have very mixed feelings on this. First of all, I wouldn't recommend this as a first look into personality types by any means as this is seemingly not based in research at ALL. The author is not a scientist or doctor and has no real qualifications to create four personality types, but has done so based on personal opinion and observation. So I took the whole thing with a grain of salt and would suggest anyone else to do so as well.
That being said, it has been interesting to me to consider how my “tendency” and those of other people in my life might affect my behavior, relationships, way of thinking, etc. This was really just more of a thought project than anything, and it did indeed get me thinking. But I'd like to dive further into similar thoughts that have real research to back it up.
And as a huge side note, she completely missed the meaning of Taylor Swift's Shake It Off. “I stay out too late, got nothing in my brain,” is sarcasm, Gretchen. If you don't know what you're talking about, don't say it. :)
This is a nice little pop psychology book about four categories of people- Upholders, Questioners, Obligers and Rebels. I'm definitely a questioner which made me question the validity of the entire book right away, something the author completely called in her chapter about Questioners, haha.
I do assume that there is some validity to this, because I fit a Questioner to a T, and I was able to put quite a few people I know neatly into these categories. But I also have a lot of Obliger tendencies. And the author gives you LITERALLY NOTHING in the way of science. No studies, no stats, nothing. Just, “everyone is one of these, trust me!”. I don't really trust you.
But nonetheless, this short book is pretty insightful about how to deal with each category of person and how each combination works together. Like anything, it's obviously not exhaustive, and sometimes her suggestions won't work. But it's worth reading and I'm sure I will keep some of her suggestions/points in mind while talking to people who are obviously not Questioners like myself.
