The Gifts of Imperfection

Quick to read, but a lot to learn from this book. This “shame researcher” outlines ten guideposts and ways to dig deep, allowing vulnerability to become an emotion and attitude you embrace because it brings you courage, compassion, and connection with yourself and with others.

Search for the author's TED talks on “The Power of Vulnerability” and “Listening to Shame” for deep insights on two topics most people struggle with. They make a great addition to reading the book.

I reread this book alongside my partner and I think it really does work best as the basis of a longer discussion. I tried to sit with it, take notes, reflect as often as I could. And I think the first half of the book was much stronger than the second half: the core concepts are best described here and Brown shares the largest number of anecdotal examples in the first chapters, which were necessary for me to grasp what she was saying. The Guidepost chapters are somewhat short and vague, but I guess that's the point: they're touchpoints, not theses.

It seems to be a useful source of further reading in the genre as well!

I enjoyed this book and the things it presented even when it stated things I didn't want to agree with - e.g., you cannot love someone more than you love yourself. While I still don't really agree with that premise, I can see and follow and appreciate the logic she provides behind it.

I really enjoyed basically all of the concepts in this book, but I feel like it fell just a little bit short on how to implement these qualities into your life. Each guide section ends with a ‘DIG deep' (deliberate in thought and behavior by setting intentions, be inspired to make new and different choices, and going to do something about it) section, but that's about it. It's a one-off for things Brown advocates implementing radically different thought processes into your everyday life. I'm guessing it's for the sake of length of the book, but I really wish there had just been more elaboration on ways to adjust.