The Gifts of Imperfection

Brené Brown shares what she has learned about vulnerability, authenticity, shame, courage, wholehearted living, and resilience.

Here are my notes from this book. My book club will be discussing Brené Brown and her work at the next book club meeting.

Wholehearted living - people who do this DIG deep. They Deliberate in their thoughts and behaviors through prayer and meditation...They are Inspired to make different choices. They Go—they take action.

Brown encourages us to recognize when we are in a shame storm. What should we do when we are in a shame storm? Tell someone who will offer compassion. It takes courage to do this, to speak honestly and openly, to risk being vulnerable and disappointed.

We have to start by setting boundaries, holding people accountable for their actions, not shaming and blaming them.

Connection is the energy between people when they feel heard and valued. Connection occurs when one can give and receive without judgment, when those involved can derive sustenance from the relationship.

Shame is the fear of being unlovable. To build shame resilience, Brown says we must tell our story and avoid the negative ways to deal with shame—moving away (silent, keeping secrets, withdrawing); moving toward (appeasing, pleasing); moving against (using shame to fight shame, aggressive, gaining power over others).

Authenticity allows us to be vulnerable, to set boundaries, and to be imperfect.

Brown encourages us to cultivate creativity, cultivate play and rest, cultivate calm and stillness, cultivate gratitude and joy, cultivate meaningful work, and cultivate laughter and song and dance. She suggests we need to trust our intuition.