The Justice of Kings

ETA: bumping this down to 2 stars. 3 stars just doesn't sit right with me.

I'll give this book a solid 3 stars. This isn't a spoiler but it isn't in the blurb: the book is from the point of view of Helena, not Konrad. Also, it's one of those first-person past-tense books where the narrator is actively telling from the present. So we get sentences like “If we had known,” or “More was to come” (not exact sentences from the book btw). But that basically strips all the tension away from the book. All of it. I'm not surprised by anything because Helena helpfully tells us, “Btw this went wrong.” It annoyed me so much that I highlighted several instances of this happening and noted, “Shut the fuck up.” And when you have to tell the narrator to shut their goddamn mouth, they've gone too far.

Now for spoilery things:

Insta-love. In a way, Mattas (Did I spell it right?) was basically the male version of what many female love interests are for a male fantasy protagonist.Insta-love, and then a sorrowful death to motivate the protagonist.Thank you, Mattas, for your sacrifice. Also, they banged, to completion I'm sure. I was like, girl, you're gonna get preggers what are you doing? If she turns up preggers in a later book, I'm gonna shake my head.Anyway, Helena. Oh Helena.Helena angry all the time for no justifiable reason. Like justifiable anger is epic. Unjustifiable anger is go sit in the corner and breathe deeply.Helena screaming for no reason and then blacking out when hearing a dead man's voice. Maybe we were supposed to be scared by the necromancy. But I wasn't. All I thought was Jesus Christ shut the fuck up. Even the second time I was lmao.Helena being mean to her love interest. Sigh.Helena nineteen years but acts like she's fifteen.Helena I grew up in DA HOOD screaming crying Helena.Helena I just met this guy and I wanna abandon my career and have all the babies.Helena nineteen and acting like a hormonal teenager Helena. I don't expect her to be the most mature human being, but come on. She's nineteen.And Konrad doesn't get off either.Konrad I'm gonna just do nothing instead of stopping the watchmen from opening the gate.Claver somehow gets away.Helena foreshadowing moral decline like HELENA SHUT THE FUCK UP. LET ME FIND OUT IN THE BOOK. SHUT THE FUCK UP.Jesus Christ.

Forget the characterizations. Forget that this basically turns into cookie-cutter European fantasy complete with “Gondor calls for aid scenes.” Forget that the mystery isn't very compelling TBH. Forget that I recently read Tainted Cup, which similar in the Watson/Holmes vibe in a fantasy world, except those characters had more personality than Konrad I-am-the-law, Dubine drink-and-whore, and Helena angry-so-angry. Forget the plot holes.

Forget how many times the phrase “wrong-footed” appeared.

Forget that I saw two back to back paragraphs begin with the word “Ultimately.”

Forget how much time this...Helena spends describing places at the start. Places I didn't give a fuck about because...Helena focus on the current village please.

Forget all that, and you have sparks of something interesting here.

I hear Helena shuts the fuck up in book 2. I will read it.