The Lady's Handbook for Her Mysterious Illness by Sarah Ramey

The darkly funny memoir of Sarah Ramey’s years-long battle with a mysterious illness that doctors thought was all in her head—but wasn’t. In her harrowing, darkly funny, and unforgettable memoir, Sarah Ramey recounts the decade-long saga of how a seemingly minor illness in her senior year of college turned into a prolonged and elusive condition that destroyed her health but that doctors couldn't diagnose or treat. Worse, as they failed to cure her, they hinted that her devastating symptoms were psychological. The Lady's Handbook for Her Mysterious Illness is a memoir with a mission: to help the millions of (mostly) women who suffer from unnamed or misunderstood conditions—autoimmune illnesses, fibromyalgia and chronic fatigue syndrome, chronic Lyme disease, chronic pain, and many more. Ramey's pursuit of a diagnosis and cure for her own mysterious illness becomes a page-turning medical mystery that reveals a new understanding of today's chronic illnesses as ecological in nature, driven by modern changes to the basic foundations of health, from the quality of our sleep, diet, and social connections to the state of our microbiomes. Her book will open eyes, change lives, and, ultimately, change medicine. The Lady's Handbook for Her Mysterious Illness is a revelation and an inspiration for millions of women whose legitimate health complaints are ignored.

I had no idea what this book was about when I saw it at the library but once I started reading it, I didn't want to stop. It is the single most validating book of my life—and I read a lot. Like, A LOT.

Sarah's story was oh-so-very close to my journey of healing (though I'm a Canadian who was not born into wealth—I have not found it, either. Haha) I read some reviews that have blasted the author from coming from/having money and for being privileged. These individuals say it isn't possible to do what Sarah has done (try to heal?) because they don't have these luxuries. Fair enough, but—and call me privileged—I feel like they missed the point of the book. Sarah couldn't help being a SWF who came from a family of doctors, yet these factors sure as hell didn't ease her endless suffering and they also didn't bring her to an instant miracle cure. (Spoiler alert: an instant miracle cure doesn't exist.) I applaud her for attempting to be a part of the solution to a longstanding and growing problem.

By god, can all of us share our stories in an effort to empathize and transform ourselves and the world? We can. Can we all take accountability for our lives? We can. And can we hold others (including the “experts”) to standards and have them be accountable, too? We can. This is something I am just starting to do after nearly three decades. (I'm nearing my 40s.) I am no longer the “good girl” who accepts what I am told versus what I know. Not only did this not serve me in my life, it wreaked havoc on physically, psychologically and spiritually.

I will also say that this memoir took an unexpected turn when it landed smack dab in the middle of the feminine, and I am grateful; I didn't consciously realize this was my missing piece. But, boy oh boy, I know it now.

I felt every emotion while I read “The Lady's Handbook for Her Mysterious Illness”and, by the end, I wept with Sarah. To be seen. To be heard. To be understood. What a rare and precious gift.

Thank you, Sarah, for sharing what I have known for quite some time now but have not been able to articulate... because it's so complicated. And yet? So simple. You put everything into words on my behalf—in your own, beautiful, magical, adorable, and intelligent way. May all of us WOMIs, MOMIs, and HOMIs continue to be resilient as we cultivate the changes our culture so desperately needs. May we heal.

Oh, one last thing! Even though the author isn't a fan of their perspectives, you can enjoy Caroline Myss and Eckhart Tolle AND still love this memoir. ;)