The Power of Showing Up
Ratings4
Average rating4.1
15
Ratings4
Average rating4.1
Parenting isn’t easy. Showing up is. Your greatest impact begins right where you are. Now the bestselling authors of The Whole-Brain Child and No-Drama Discipline explain what this means over the course of childhood. “There is parenting magic in this book.”—Michael Thompson, Ph.D., co-author of the New York Times bestselling classic Raising Cain One of the very best scientific predictors for how any child turns out—in terms of happiness, academic success, leadership skills, and meaningful relationships—is whether at least one adult in their life has consistently shown up for them. In an age of scheduling demands and digital distractions, showing up for your child might sound like a tall order. But as bestselling authors Daniel Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson reassuringly explain, it doesn’t take a lot of time, energy, or money. Instead, showing up means offering a quality of presence. And it’s simple to provide once you understand the four building blocks of a child’s healthy development. Every child needs to feel what Siegel and Bryson call the Four S’s: • Safe: We can’t always insulate a child from injury or avoid doing something that leads to hurt feelings. But when we give a child a sense of safe harbor, she will be able to take the needed risks for growth and change. • Seen: Truly seeing a child means we pay attention to his emotions—both positive and negative—and strive to attune to what’s happening in his mind beneath his behavior. • Soothed: Soothing isn’t about providing a life of ease; it’s about teaching your child how to cope when life gets hard, and showing him that you’ll be there with him along the way. A soothed child knows that he’ll never have to suffer alone. • Secure: When a child knows she can count on you, time and again, to show up—when you reliably provide safety, focus on seeing her, and soothe her in times of need, she will trust in a feeling of secure attachment. And thrive! Based on the latest brain and attachment research, The Power of Showing Up shares stories, scripts, simple strategies, illustrations, and tips for honoring the Four S’s effectively in all kinds of situations—when our kids are struggling or when they are enjoying success; when we are consoling, disciplining, or arguing with them; and even when we are apologizing for the times we don’t show up for them. Demonstrating that mistakes and missteps are repairable and that it’s never too late to mend broken trust, this book is a powerful guide to cultivating your child’s healthy emotional landscape.
Reviews with the most likes.
TLDR: this is a must read for new parents. Parenting is an exercise in playing things by ear, but if you can ask questions about your upbringing and grasp the what and how of secure attachment, you'll be starting on a solid foundation.
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The Whole Brain Child is hands down my most recommended book for parents, but The Power of Showing Up might have just moved into first place. You can't go wrong reading any books by Siegel and Bryson though. What I love most about this one is the emphasis on parental upbringing and introspection as the foundation.
I see the Whole Brain child as useful beginning at about toddler ages, as we're talking about brain science/emotional regulation, and babies don't really do a whole lot. The Power of Showing up strikes me as a better earlier book (perhaps the ideal baby shower gift) because it addresses the fact that parents need to analyze their own childhood history in order to parent their children well. I'd already come to that conclusion personally, but I don't think I've ever read it in a book, and it's important.
This book discusses attachment styles, with questions about your own experience, and I can't emphasize how important that is. Like all their books, they provide illustrations, real world/practical examples, and are exceedingly gracious and nonjudgmental about the difficulties inherent in parenting tiny humans. They go above and beyond to make things memorable (4 S's) and there is a reference sheet in the back.
Actually, I'd say it's 4,5.
I've read the book twice in 3 years and the second reading allowed me to see what ideas have “survived” the turmoil of my emotions as well as enforce the mindset I'd like to achieve regarding the relationships with my kids.
