Ratings1
Average rating4
3.75/5
Please note this book covers some very triggering topics, including but not limited to LGBTQ+ discrimination, sexual assault, rape, abuse, and conversion therapy.
This is more of an expression of my thoughts than an actual review.
This is definitely not the kind of book that I usually read. I read it on a whim; it was part of a fiction sampler I was reading, and I kept becoming curious about what happened next.
I feel like I mostly suffer from not being the kind of person who usually reads these kinds of books? It's a coming-of-age story about a boy struggling with his sexuality and feminity in 1990s India, where LGBTQ+ behavior is outlawed. It details the main character growing up with their family, going through boarding school, joining the circus, and falling in love with another man. I don't consider this plot outline too much of a spoiler, because for these kinds of books, these kinds of settings are only a small portion of the story. The real meat of the story is the trials and tribulations of the main character, his emotional trauma, and his journey throughout. There are a lot of events in the book that seem more symbolic than anything else.
This is an emotionally heavy book, and some parts affected me heavily, especially regarding his family relationships. There were a few parts that I skimmed when I began to get bored of it when it seemed too repetitive with what the conflict was. But the parts that got me hooked (will not say due to spoilers) kept me going. This wasn't a book I wanted to put down or considered leaving unfinished when I got to the parts that hooked me and kept my interest. And I feel like a book that has me thinking about it and considering it after I've finished and put it down has done a good job of making an impression on me.
The reason it's not a full 4 stars is mostly due to some repetitive parts where I was losing some of my interest. Some of the narrative threads felt like they wandered a bit to me with not a lot of connection, almost like a train of thought that kind of goes on without being reigned in. It wasn't a steady ride throughout my reading of it; I had highs and lows as I was going through it. But it's an emotionally devastating book, equal parts tragic and beautiful, and I'm glad I took the random chance to read it.