The Way I Used to Be

I read this based on a teen therapy client's request. They strongly identify with Eden, the protagonist, unfortunately due to similar experiences, and of course I'm grateful they found something that resonates with their experience! This is a totally serviceable book for any teen book collection, and Smith deals with the aftermath of rape (not a spoiler; that's page 1) generally sensitively. I did have some fairly significant quibbles. First, Smith wrote all the characters as racially ambiguous, and I suppose I see the intention (while noting what certain roads are paved with), and shout out to someone who wrote a great article for their high school news site about why racially ambiguous characters aren't actually helpful: https://conantcrier.com/voices/opinions/young-adult-literature-needs-more-representation/. My other quibbles are that some of the supportive characters are pretty one-dimensional, and I really think the 3rd quarter of the book documenting Eden's struggles with self-neglect could have been shortened while still getting the same point across. To end on a positive, though, since I am glad this is out there for teens, Smith resists the urge to tie things up too prettily with a bow at the end, which certainly rings true to life.

I don't know what to think about this book.....It made me uncomfortable towards the ending that I could barely bring myself to read anymore but at the same time I couldn't stop reading. And I think that's the point. It's not meant to be comfortable.

I don't know what to rate this to be honest because I feel like books like this deserve way more than being on a rating scale but I'll rate it 4/5 for the sake of simplicity.

Writing- 4.5
Plot: 5
Characters: 4
Enjoyment: 4.5
Overall: 4.5
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!TRIGGER WARNING!
-rape and slut shaming-
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“maybe” could just be another word for hope.
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This book follows Eden throughout her four years in high school. It starts off from the day she was raped by her brothers best friend Kevin. And it continues on showing how this changes her life from that day on.
Writing: I really liked amber smiths writing. I also liked that she was brave enough to write about a really tough subject and execute it so well.
I do recommend y'all to try to look for a review from a rape victim because it is important.
Plot: I really liked following Eden trough her four years of high school. I thought it was unique and really interesting seeing her development as the years went by.
Characters: I really liked the characters yes they were frustrating at points but I feel like even them being frustrating was important in the development of the story. There were a lot of slut shaming characters and that kinda pissed me off but again I knew that it was important for the storyline. Eden did frustrate me at some parts but then in others I just wanted to hug her and be there for her.
Enjoyment: If you haven't noticed yet, I really enjoyed this book. I cried so much, there's a few pages that have some tear stains.
I do recommend y'all to read it if you're not triggered by the sensitive topics. It's very important and I thank amber for writing such an amazing novel.