How Self-Control Works, Why It Matters, and What You Can Do to Get More of It
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Average rating4.1
McGonigal defines willpower as “the ability to do what you really want to do when part of you really doesn't want to do it”, and says that humans experience conflicts between impulse and self-control in personal and social contexts, giving examples such as: craving for sweet foods, the urge to be sarcastic or complaining, and the desire to procrastinate. Humans have evolved adaptations to control their instincts and successfully resist impulsive drives, because living in groups requires self-control and this—McGonigal says—means taking the harder option. According to McGonigal, willpower failure or success can spread through a group, because humans tend to mirror the behavior of those they are socially connected with.
The part of the self that enables us to act in a way that is consistent with our long-term goals is based in the prefrontal cortex, and McGonigal advocates body-mind practices that she says prioritize the function of the prefrontal cortex, rather than parts of the brain that are orientated toward instant responses, which is the brain's default setting when under stress.
According to McGonigal, the practice of meditation is an effective way to establish the primacy of the prefrontal cortex, thus enabling a choice to do the harder thing, when that is required for attaining a long-term goal. McGonigal believes exercising self-control can help build up willpower in the same way as, over time, physical exercising can increase capacity to exercise. She says: “If you do it with awareness and intention, it can make you stronger. The strength develops over time, even if you feel temporarily weaker. But I think this only works when you have this mindset, and feel like you are consciously choosing to “use” your willpower. If you feel like you are being drained by everything you “have” to do (or not do), that lack of autonomy is even more stressful than exercising self-control.”
The promise of happiness from cravings often misleads in McGonigal's view, and she gives techniques of mindfully focusing attention on the actual experience when indulging a craving or temptation, so as to compare it with the expectation of reward that preceded it.
One use of willpower that McGonigal sees as counter productive is thought suppression, or trying not think about temptations (such as cravings). McGonigal believes thoughts become more intrusive through thought suppression, and it is best to simply register that an unwanted thought has occurred without believing in it or acting on it. Energy to pursue activities is less scarce than to resisting temptation, says McGonigal, suggesting that people give their brains healthy “wants” such as vegetables or a walk after lunch, so that weight loss becomes a by-product of choice. Learning to be a friend and mentor to ourselves rather than equating self-control with self-criticism is the attitude that she advocates.
Overall an excellent book. Highly recommended.