The Woman They Wanted

Link to Original Review.

???The first revelation I had the year I sat in bed was that I had made a deal without realizing it when I entered the church and when I married my husband - a deal with patriarchy, if you will. And while I had upheld my end of it, the men I???d made the deal with had not upheld theirs.They wanted me to submit and follow, and I did. I???d embraced their ideas, and I???d done my part of the work. I stayed home, supported my husband, and raised the children. I???d gotten up every morning and tried my best to fulfill patriarchy???s dreams - the dream of male leadership. In return, the men of the church had promised to protect and love me. But they did not do that.They did not protect or cherish me. They did not acknowledge the whole me. How can someone protect or cherish something they don???t even see? Or don???t wish to see? I had no voice or place in their world. The real me was punished and tamed like Eve??????

The Woman They Wanted: Shattering the Illusion of the Good Christian Wife

I Kissed Dating Goodbye

Boy Meets Girl.

An accounting of the emotional roller coaster that was becoming a Christian as a young adult, marrying a young Christian celebrity who was groomed to take over a problematic church, being forced to give up her dreams and agency as she loses herself in patriarchal ideals… then slowly finds her way out after 16 years.

While this tells some stories and the facts of things that happened, it’s more about what the entire journey felt like for her. I’d recommend this book to women who have trouble hearing their own voice or trusting themselves and their intuition, who need to know they are people too and deserve to have needs, particularly those who had or have religious backgrounds. She gets straight to the heart of some of the toxic expectations and consequences of living inside the American church.