Truth by His Hand

4.5Periodically, as in on a weekly basis, I troll around Audible listening to samples and saving to Wish List books just because of the narrator. Every so often it pays out in spades. It brought me to this story. I loved it. In most instances I'd be tempted to say that the fantastic narration by [a:Michael Fell 47441 Michael Fell https://s.gr-assets.com/assets/nophoto/user/u_50x66-632230dc9882b4352d753eedf9396530.png] solely sold me on the story but that would be disingenuous to say the least. [a:Casey Cameron 15489004 Casey Cameron https://images.gr-assets.com/authors/1473549361p2/15489004.jpg] is a NTM author and based on this outing we'll become more closely acquainted in the future. She has managed to create one of the most endearing characters I've come across in a good long while and to surround him by a chosen family we would all be lucky to have.River Burke is an artist who at the age of 34, and after some half-hearted attempts, has decided to jump fully into the submission side of the BDSM world. Towards that aim he goes on a speed dating kink event at a club where he crosses paths with Ellison Fitch, a Dom who at first glance doesn't seem like a good fit for River. Ellison isn't physically imposing, he's slim, maybe 5'8”, and with a nerdy professor vibe. He doesn't resonate with tall & buff porn Doms River expects or thinks can handle him, though he does find Ellison attractive. Needless to say after some left turns their paths cross and they embark on a relationship, one that colors outside the lines of what they both expected.My selling point to this story was River. The story is told solely form his POV and I freakin' loved being in his complicated and self-aware head. His willingness to be vulnerable, his openness, his heart wrenching desire for intimacy & connection, his self-deprecating sense of humor completely won me over to his side. I'm always on the side of the subs but River is special in my heart. As much as we're diametrically different as people I was able to identify with his inner hopes and fears. River more than most subs I've read made me understand, in a good and bad way, why someone would put themselves, their physical & spiritual life, in the hands of another. A person who will hurt them in more ways than carnal under the guise of caring and to bring them pleasure. So yes, I loved River, Ellison? hmm ... I liked him?In the vast array of Doms Ellison isn't the worst, far from it. I liked him very much. In his own way he's kind and caring towards River, he's very much about consent etc. My main problem was that I felt he was late to the game in expressing his feelings, even after River had bared himself bare, and when he did so it was in a paltry way. Anther thing is that though Ellison is an experienced Dom, in fact he's a professor of human sexuality, his feelings and intentions toward River are pretty obliquely rendered even after River's feelings and motivations are writ in large neon lights for anyone to read. It led me to believe that, disappointingly, he could fit seamlessly with the selfish, sadist Doms I hate without loving at all. Maybe a chapter from his POV would've helped but I don't think so. He is who he is which I really liked on a general level. I just wanted him to be more open or accessible to River, who's unabashedly trying to give him everything. Ultimately Ellison turned a corner after some last minute deeds & declarations. But just barely. As usual for me in D/s relationships I felt that River (the sub) offered way more than Ellison (the Dom) deserved or gave in return. In fact one of the things that endeared Ellison a bit to me was his assessment of the reasons for River's willingness to submit to Ellison's ‘tender mercies' and that it gave him pause. If you like well developed characters, whether in BDSM stories or not, you can and should absolutely ignore my previous complaints and just enjoy one person's journey from flailing through life to blossoming into a possible and only dreamed of life. Extra kudos to the author for respectfully including a gender queer character, Tea, who's a fully rendered human being and caustically funny to boot.