When Food Is Food and Love Is Love

I listened to this along with reading the less practical, more narrative complement, When Food Is Love. It covered the “Eating Guidelines” that Roth says will lead to one reaching one's “natural weight” if followed consistently. I was not so concerned about weight, but I think the guidelines can also apply to any kind of compulsive eating problem, such as in my case has contributed to lifelong digestive issues, migraines, and recently a gallbladder removal.

These are very common-sense directives (eat when you are hungry, stop when you have had enough, etc.) that are simple but not easy to follow if one has been embedded in a pattern of emotional, compulsive eating. But having already begun the process of breaking free of those patterns I found this advice helpful and supportive, along with the exercises that I chose to do out of the many Roth presents.

Roth's message is that how we eat is bound up with how we live, and you can't change how you eat without making the commitment to change your life, ultimately to connecting to the more vibrant, more alive self that you really when you find the strength to counteract those addictive behaviors. This goes along with my own experience. I find the need to work from both sides, from the physical side changing habits and what I put into my body, and from the inner side, changing my attitude towards that external input and becoming more mindful. Inching along in both aspects has helped me to come to a more healthy place and the prospects look encouraging.

The guideline I find most difficult is “eat what your body wants.” That's what I have a really hard time discerning! How do I know?!? I am not used to listening to my body, but if I take that as a goal, rather than ignoring and discounting my body as I've always done, I trust that what I need to know will eventually come to light. The guidelines do not form a rigid system of dictates like most diets, but a way to get to know one's individual needs better, and that will take time.

A reminder I especially appreciated was to put aside distractions and really experience, taste, and enjoy my food, and along with that, give myself permission to experience all my feelings and acknowledge where I have non-physical, emotional hungers that are not being met. I need to stop using food to “swallow my feelings,” to avoid unwanted feelings and cover them up with physical sensations, and also to stop trying to meet emotional needs with food, which will never truly satisfy because it is not a physical hunger I am feeling. When I can do this, and let food simply be food for my body, while I take a good honest look at my emotional hungers and how they can be met, things start to fall into place.

It has been at times scary to admit the depth of that unmet emotional hunger but it's way better than trying to fill it up with food, which will never work and has only made me sick. So I am thankful to Roth for being a help along that path.