White Fragility

I finally read this (my sister had purchased it a while ago) mostly because of the unrest after the murder of George Floyd. I have to say, I was kind of shocked by how unrelenting it was; I think it's a useful and valuable book for sure. Kind of interesting how whether or not books like this(white people talking to white people about racism) existed before DiAngelo released White Fragility, none seems to have ever been nearly as popular or impactful.

Just a couple things I didn't like. Literally two.

- I felt she spent a lot of time repeating herself(probably necessary) and not enough time explaining certain terms and concepts she used. While reading, I tried to read it as if I were a skeptical/defensive white person. Early on in the book, she starts talking about how schools/America are still “segregated,” but doesn't quite explain much of how or why. Seems like something easy to balk at if one is looking for any reason to discredit the book and its ideas: Title 9 exists, de jure segregation à la Jim Crow no longer exists. At the same time, I think she mentioned that she wouldn't be explaining how America has been/is racist, and it's certainly a tall order to do so in one book (whose length would certainly turn people off). I guess I just wish there were some sections explaining certain things more fully, instead of repeated same-y anecdotes about her experiences in various workshops.

- The chapter on “White Woman Tears:” I definitely agree with the issue of white women weaponizing their emotions against people of color. What I don't agree with is the idea that it's somehow offensive when white women cry or are visibly upset when they are confronted with racism's effects on people of color. It's the first section of that chapter, I believe, and I just couldn't see the real justification for the embargo on this behavior. Personally I think that the black woman that approached DiAngelo was mostly in the wrong to say that “she didn't want to see any white woman's tears today.” Sure–if I were watching a white woman cry about unarmed black people getting shot, I would definitely be wondering if she were a decent “ally” herself and not just...sad about seeing people die...but I don't think that this emotional barrier should be maintained or erected. I can't see what purpose it serves. It's okay to not want performative/narcissistic tears to end up burdening or harming people of color, but not all instances of white women crying where race is a cogent factor can be classified as such. Feels like telling men not to cry in front of women in a feminist context–this actually doesn't help men, or women, and emotional repression probably makes a lot of tangible problems like domestic abuse worse.

Otherwise, powerful book; I definitely recommend it.