Janet Gurtler's books have been hailed as "just right for fans of Sarah Dessen and Jodi Picoult" (Booklist) and "reminiscent of Judy Blume" (RT Book Reviews). Her latest contemporary YA novel is by turns gripping, heart-wrenching, and joyous as one teen girl has to find the courage to carry on after a devastating tragedy. She never thought a kiss could kill... As the new girl in town, Samantha just wants to fit in. Being invited to a party by her fellow swim team members is her big chance...especially since Zee will be there. He hasn't made a secret of checking her out at the pool. Sam didn't figure on Alex being there too. She barely even knows him. And she certainly didn't plan to kiss him. It just kind of happened. And then Alex dies—right in her arms... Consumed by guilt and grief, Sam has no idea what to do or where to turn when everyone at school blames her. What follows is Sam's honest, raw, and unforgettable journey to forgive herself and find balance—maybe even love—in a life that suddenly seems to be spinning out of control.
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Samantha's whole life is swimming but sometimes the other parts of life sneak in. At a party, Samantha's crush Zee is distracted by a trollop, so Sam decides to kiss his friend Alex to make him jealous. Bad idea. Alex has a serious peanut allergy and Sam had a PBJ before going to the party. Alex dies on the way to the hospital.
Sam's whole life is turned upside down. She can't swim, going to school is awful, and there's a new boy with suspect motives interested in her.
Overall, I thought that this was a good book that delves into the predictable consequences of a horrible accident. The taunts and jeers that Samantha experienced at school made me cringe, they were so realistic. Her struggles are mostly understandable, except for her refusal to go back to swimming for a long time. I would have thought that swimming would have helped her character more because Alex wasn't really related to swimming, but I can still understand it.
My biggest problem with the book is (SPOILER ALERT!) that at the end, you find out that Alex's dying because of an asthma attack after smoking pot at the party, not from an allergic reaction to Sam's peanut butter mouth. This just made all of the trauma and guilt that Sam went throw seem meaningless. I think the story would have had a more emotional impact if the peanut allergy really did kill Alex. But I could be cruel.
[I got this book from a Goodreads giveaway, and didn't receive anything else in return for this review.]
