Writer's Block: Chapter One

2.75 for the story /// 4.5 for the narration


I'm confuddled as to how to rate this. Basically it's a YA, which is not my jam, but despite certain issues I was liking it until the last chapter when ... nothing happens and a bunch of running plot points are left unresolved! This has led me to complain about things that, with a better resolution, I would've shrugged off. Ugh. Below is my list of grievances:

Why is the story set in some alternate universe/time, when everything is essentially the same as current earth? I'm guessing the author thought it'd be best to address issues without naming recognizable people, places, or things but ... I felt like it added nothing to the story.

Why must the author perpetually refer to main characters, Kaleb and Taylor, as “the darker man” and “the blonde” or “the blonde boy”? According to my Kindle search it was 71 times and 329 times respectively. Wow!

Why did the whole soul crest thing figure so prominently and then ended up meaning not much at all?

If Taylor's mom is meant to elicit pity, for this reader it was the contrary. I hated her. Who leaves their child with a mentally deranged person, even if it is his father? Also, are there no social services in this alternate world?

While I appreciated the slow evolution of Taylor & Kaleb's relationship, from enemies to something more, I could've done with like 50% less. Maybe if this was originally serialized, I could see that working, but as a novel, it could've used judicious editing.

Though a big part of this story was Kaleb & Taylor getting close, and eventually feeling an attraction, which apparently had no precedent in this world, it really didn't come to the fore until the last 30%? maybe? and then we get zero about what it meant to anyone else or even themselves. The boys have no instance of self reflection, which I would expect, being that same sex attractions or bondings are unheard in this society. When they finally get together it's not even romantic. There's barely some kissing. The book simply ends, and you'd think maybe there's a sequel, but there isn't, and a postscript from the author doesn't even insinuate that there will be one, nor that it was even an intention. Bizarre.

Anyway ... I won't go on as I can see this working for a teen and maybe that's the target audience. It has good intentions.

Despite the ultimate fizzling out of the story, my rating reflects the kick-ass narration by Jonah Scott. Despite some pacing issues, which are really in the domain of the producer, I. LOVED. IT. Sadly this seems to be his only foray into the narration field. Might he work under a different name? If anyone knows let me know. Please.