Zombie Turkeys

Sam Melvin, an underachieving e-reporter from a small town, changes forever when he meets turkeys that won't stay dead. You can shoot 'em, chop 'em, burn 'em--they come back stronger. The undead plague of poultry spreads irresistibly, rocking the whole country. As Sam tracks down the zombie turkeys and how to eradicate them, his editor Lisa Kambacher, nags him to turn his stories and expenses in on time. During their years of working together, Lisa has mellowed from bitchy into an irascible pinch penny. Lisa snipes at Sam for plebian writing but uses her intelligence to pursue the lucrative carnivorous turkey story. Sam and Lisa ricochet across the landscape tracking turkeys and fleeing the bloodthirsty hoards. Careening from shell-shocked grocery store owners fighting turkeys crawling out of refrigerators, machine gunning turkey farmers, and secret militia, Sam and Lisa doggedly report. Throughout the turkey apocalypse, they dare ravaged cities, plow knee deep in gore and corpses, and upload streams of zombie turkey video news to the world. With paranoid militias clashing with the Federal government and unkillable turkeys, Sam and Lisa doubt their ability to survive. Unlike the Monster Hunter series by Larry Correia, Sam and Lisa have no superpowers. If you have a heart condition or lack humor, you should NOT read Zombie Turkeys, no matter how much you want to find out what happens. You will miss President Obama, Oprah and the Chicago Bears battling waves of feathered ferocity. By Andy Zach, the foremost paranormal animal author.