Awescape

A clear theme in Ferrante's work is "becoming" like someone else- be it children becoming their parents, someone's narrative or personal magnetism getting inside you and changing from the inside, or escaping or failing to escape our fate. The fact we can never tell if this a fear or paranoia of the narrator, or a reality, makes it even better.

This mysterious power that warps you without your will, changing your nature before you even realize it, is a palpable sticky energy in the book. Do we have our own essence or are we just shaped by the forces that touch us? Can a fate be rejected, can we choose who we are?

This book is about a child becoming an adult. A young girl hears her parents compare her to the aunt they hate, and she becomes with obsessed with what is so bad in her that her parents see her like this, to the point of seeking a closeness with the aunt. The child begin to learn more about the adults her parents are, and over time begins to readjust the simplistic perceptions she has of everyone she knows, including herself.

When I read this book, it took me a little bit, maybe 20-30 pages, to really sink into it. I had already read The Neopolitan novels and The Days of Abandonment by Ferrante and I think I assumed this book would be derivative of those or could not possible be as good. Soon I was hooked though, after which I read through the book very fast. It picked up density, meaning, and as with all Ferrante's work, the meanings added onto and subverted each-other, creating a self-contained world with a richness that rivals reality. My favorite aspect of Ferrante is the moment is plays with the narrator's reliability by giving them an alternative information and perspective that casts the entire narrative into doubt- we could spend chapters building an idea only to have it subverted, but never answered, only leaving us with questions on all sides- these are books that border omniscience but come from a first person point of view, leaving us to doubt not the narrator as unreliable but the world as unreliable, that it may be fundamentally impossible to arrive at truth, and the characters themselves are aware of this feeling of moving through murky and changeable water. It's through the tension created by the contrasting of opposites the feeling of doubt and beauty comes in, and an entire world in all its contradictions in one person.

One of my favorite books. I read this when I was young and it was very important to me.

The book is a bildungsroman that is somewhat autobiographical to the author, Somerset Maugham. The protagonist, Philip, was born with a club foot and after being orphaned grows up under the care of a somewhat cold religious relatives. He grows up shy and self-conscious, seeking belonging and a refuge from his loneliness in books and fantasies. As he grows he tries on various professions, falls in love with a girl who rejects him, gains and loses friends, finds his own self-definitions, and struggles with accepting himself and the world. The book introduces some concepts that I found really impactful, including some existentialist themes, the meaning of art and artistic fulfillment, romantic obsession, self-deception and self awareness . It's a beautiful book that is told from the point of a hungry soul trying to find peace. The prose is beautiful, elegant, and easy to read, but honest, direct, and evocative.

This book is about descending into a dark place and wanting to stay there, needing to stay there. Hibernation, isolation, break-down depression. That said, it's a funny, mean, moving book, that is above all very honest. Maybe it will be more easily understood by those who have experienced depression and can find humor in it. On top of being funny, it's a quick and effortless read.

The main character is a good looking girl who appears to have all the advantages of being blonde, pretty, and from a wealthy family. But inside she is emotionally dead and incredibly isolated. After a series of disappointments leads her to major depression, the main character begins to earnestly seek to spend a year locked away in her apartment asleep as much as possible, floating away on prescription medication and transforming into her future self. Just not yet.

Her best friend is also lost, but copes with in the complete opposite way: frenetic superficial self improvement plans and an obsession with appearances. Best friend dismisses the main character's depression because she envies her beauty. In return, the protagonist treats her friend like crap, a bond of mutual sadomasochistic loneliness.

Her psychiatrist is the unhinged and ready to prescribe Dr. Tuttle, my favorite character. Bless you, Dr. Tuttle. You made me laugh out loud so many times.

I loved many things about this book. The descriptions of disassociation and fugue states. The terrible men. The superficial art world. The frank analysis women have of their own appearances and the treatment it affords them, and the frank discussion of eating disorders. How mean the main best friends were to each-other, and how they tried to love each-other as well. The flashbacks that got us to this point. The way depression makes us brittle and mean. How when you shrink your world down to a tiny stage, the mundane becomes a delight, like your favorite brand of ice cream or the deli coffee from around the corner. The rewatching of Harrison Ford and Whoopie Goldberg videotapes by the protagonist while locked in her depression apartment. When I experienced an episode of major depression, at one point all I could cope with was re-watching various VHSs. It's just so real.