Annery

Is this the worst book I ever read? Absolutely not. The book is well formatted, has a beautiful cover, and is well written as far as grammar, spelling, sentence structure etc. These are things that can detract from the enjoyment of a good story but won't enhance a ridiculous one.

I'm not a hard ass when it comes to categorizing things in life or in fiction, however this gave me whiplash. To save some other poor soul I'll explain as much as possible without “ruining” the book. The story starts with 23 year old Alexander Jonas Austin IV a.k.a Alex Sage, a pampered boy from the Chicago suburbs who upon completing college and some unhappy time in law school has decided to drop out and pursue the life of a rock star in a fledgling band with a precious name and equally precious members. His mother is displeased with Alex dropping out of law school and is financially disowning him as a way to steer him back to the fold. Alex's response to this is spending all his money on a “freedom party”. At this point, and in spite of his age and fellow college graduate friends, I was getting a distinct NA vibe and not the good Sarina Bowen kind, but the annoying almost verging on insufferable YA kind, that I avoid like the plague, with the clique of friends carrying on conversations too cute by half and way too enamored of their brand of humor. I soldiered on because I can't seem to DNF and I'm engaged to read book 2 so ... I kept reading because what's the worst that could happen? How about absurdity and ridiculousness on every page?

During a bathroom break at the “freedom party” Alex is the victim of an attempted mugging and is rescued by the “mysterious” Liam. The rest is history or as I like to call it torture. My poison may be your nectar so I'll include the rest of my comments as a spoiler.

Here's the first exchange after Liam, with his big brawny presence, he's a veteran marine of 4 tours in Afghanistan, has scared away Alex's would be mugger: "You okay?" the man asked, laying a steadying hand on Alex's right arm. ..... His voice was deep and smooth, ...... Alex found it charming. He smiled. "This is so weird. I swear, I didn't even know I was gay." ... Alex's revelation didn't seem to bother him. ... "Did you know you were straight?" ... "I dunno. Girls are pretty." From here our dear Alex proceeds with some clumsy drunk flirting, the kind that bad sitcoms with canned laugh tracks think is funny. It's not. But none of this is so egregious as to be a deal breaker. It's the sum of everything. It turns out that Liam is a hired thug for a local crime lord, except that said crime lord doesn't seem so bad and Liam isn't really a thug. He's an undercover CPD detective and by all accounts one of the worst I've ever seen. The whole story takes place in two weeks and half the the book is setting up for book two, which is almost a relief. Alex and Liam fall into INSTA INSTA LOVE. They court like two teenage girls with dinners, movies, and flowers. It turns out that Alex is not only a virgin but a 23 year old who had never had a relationship or even thought about his sexuality! Is it because he's socially inadequate? Is he maybe on the Asperger's Spectrum? Nope. He's fabulous, financially well off, and a social butterfly with a tight clique of friends and an ability to make people like him. So where did that come from? Too much study and no time to think of such things. Yep. That's what were told.

I can't go on anymore because my head may explode. The rating isn't lower because nothing malicious happens, just nonsensical stuff. This should really be tagged as NA or YA despite the age of the MCs.

3.5 rounded up, because if GR insists on no 1/2 stars I'd go up with this instead of down

So conflicted about this rating. I really, really liked it, but I felt like I should've loved it. It's made up of many of the things that warm my heart: someone discovering their true nature/desires later in life, a Dom/sub-older/younger relationship with the Dom being younger, BDSM without the dungeons, specialized gear, or overly talked about rules, scenes, safe words etc. and yet ... sigh.

We meet Logan (I'm seriously on a mission to meet a Logan in real life but they all seem to live in fiction) while he's playing with one of his subs, Seth, who's a real pain slut. The kicker is that he's doing it in a shabby room he rents from a sweet older lady. The room is mostly decorated in pink, as the previous tenant was his landlady's granddaughter, and he's improvising with a hairbrush, because sometimes that's how you have to roll. Logan is a professor/lecturer at a local college and when his landlady decides to relocate to Florida he needs to find new lodgings pronto. Solution: college bulletin board.

John is a thirty-nine year old man who's been living in a kind of limbo for a year after his wife left him. He's a waste-averse, pre-planner, list-maker, and heretofore untapped submissive. John has an apartment above his garage and when he sees Logan's request on the bulletin board he takes it as a sign and decides to rent to Logan.

I loved the details about the characters, like the fact that Logan doesn't do bottled water because it's bad for the environment, he's an unabashed sadist, and a messy housekeeper. John is a good cook who allows his friends to ply him with casseroles so they can assuage their guilt over his wife leaving him. He's all about research and can kindly be called frugal.

I loved that Logan isn't an infallible Dom. Most of the things he gets to try or experience with John are first for him too and the ideas come from his reading and imagination. He's 27 y.o. and his practical experience is limited to his former boyfriend and the subs he plays with, but none of these have gone beyond a few hours in a club or at his home. Here's an exchange between the MCs:

“You don't have to wait on me.”John gave him a direct look. ... “Don't I? Isn't that part of it too? Not the sex and the pain, but the service?”“I never had that,” Logan answered honestly. “Quick sessions where nothing mattered but both of us getting off was about it. This is as new to me as it is to you in some ways.”“New good or new bad?”“Good,” Logan assured him.

Logan smiled. “How'd the gardening go?”“Unfinished, but there's still time. I'll go back to it. Uh, if that's okay with you.” John wasn't sure how this worked. Was he a sub 24-7 now? “Is it? May I finish it, Sir?”“You're asking for permission outside a scene?” Logan sucked in a breath. “Okay, one, that's new for me. Two, I'm so fucking turned on right now, I want to say no and tell you to get naked instead, but that's an abuse of power, and-”“Tell me.” Blood pounding in his ears, John raised his hands to the top button on the faded plaid shirt he wore but held back on sliding it free. “No, order me. No more scenes. No more hitting pause. You never stop wanting to dominate me, do you? This is new, and I'm clueless about ninety percent of it, but I think of you and I want to go to my knees every single fucking time, so order me. Please Sir. You want me? I'm yours. Take me here. Use me. Tear the clothes off my back if you want me naked. Use them to tie my hands, or gag me, or whip me. Let me be your sub every second of my day because these last few weeks have been the happiest of my life, and if I know that's what I am, even when you're not here, I'll feel owned. Wanted.”

issues

problem

Recommended if you're in the mood for some sensible kinky romance

4.5 because I wanted it to be longerI got an audio collection of [a:Josh Lanyon 359194 Josh Lanyon https://images.gr-assets.com/authors/1289326144p2/359194.jpg] novelettes, some of which I already owned in print. I've been saving and doling them out like precious nectar because that's what they are, now with the added bonus of perfect audios. This story was narrated by [a:Chris Gebauer 16676626 Chris Gebauer https://s.gr-assets.com/assets/nophoto/user/u_50x66-632230dc9882b4352d753eedf9396530.png] and he was perfect as Austin and gave the rest of the cast nuanced inflections perfectly conveying the sometimes arch dialogue.Austin Gillespie, a Master of Wine, has come to Ballineen, the ancestral home of the Cashel family, in the small town of Madison in Georgia to appraise their wine cellar and perhaps find some priceless bottles belonging to General R.E. Lee. Before you cans say “sweet tea” Austin is surrounded by a cast of characters plucked from the the southern greats like Tennessee Williams, Carson McCullers, or William Faulkner only most of these folks are more ‘picturesque'. Deliberately so. They are perfectly aware of how people perceive them, particularly ‘foreigners' and play up to the stereotype perhaps as a form of defiance. In the mix is the somewhat mysterious Jeff Brady, oblique by choice, gorgeous by nature. It wouldn't be a Josh story without a dead body and we've got one but the who it is or how it got dead is merely a vehicle for Austin's voyage of discovery, even if the voyage is mostly internal. Like the master story teller that she is Josh shows us who Austin is and how he got to this stage of his life. Austin is at a crossroads with no clear path forward and suddenly things change. Big Time. Yes he may be on the road to a HEA by the end, more like HFN with strong possibilities, but the grander changes are those within him and how he values and sees himself. Turns out he's much stronger and braver than he thinks and if there's any doubt ask Jeff. When he thought he was enlightening Austin he was the one getting schooled, quietly and without fanfare, but schooled nonetheless. I loved all the characters particularly Carson and Ernest who are unequivocally themselves without reference to anyone's opinion. #LifeGoalsRecommended to everyone. Always.

Historicals were my gateway to romance and it was no different with m/m. My first was [b:Tangled Web 6432226 Tangled Web Lee Rowan https://images.gr-assets.com/books/1304048459s/6432226.jpg 6621704] and I loved it. Since then I've mostly gravitated to contemporaries but always keep a gimlet eye on what's out there in the crinoline and gauntlet era. The problem is that most m/m historicals are either wildly inaccurate, as in the historic part is window dressing, or self-flagellating tales of woe where the best possible outcome is some Lord/valet arrangement for a HEA. I tread carefully but have lately come upon some gems and this is one of them.First things first: the audio is by [a:Hamish McKinley 17112307 Hamish McKinley https://s.gr-assets.com/assets/nophoto/user/u_50x66-632230dc9882b4352d753eedf9396530.png] and it's divine. A work of art all on its own. The characters are clearly and distinctly identified not only by their accents but also by their ‘voice' and tone. At every turn you know exactly who's speaking. The emotions are clear and vivid and more than once I felt David's quiet sadness and moments of joy. Bonus points for clearing up the Scottish pronunciation of many words that I'm sure I'd otherwise be mangling and just in time for the return of “Outlander” too!So let's talk about the story. The book opens with the execution of Andrew Hardie & John Baird. This was a real event. Here's a historical snippet not from the book:“... on 8th September 1820, Andrew Hardie, a weaver from Glasgow, and John Baird, a weaver from Condorrat, met similar fates in Stirling: they were also hanged and beheaded. 19 others, mostly weavers, were sentenced to transportation, and already on their way to the colonies (mainly New South Wales in Australia); and that was the end of what became known as the Radical War, or the 1820 Rising. But, as Britain charged headlong into an age of immense industrialisation, it wasn't to be the last time that the recently coined term ‘radical' would serve as a prefix for a popular movement of workers demanding their ‘rights' in society, and threatening revolution if their ‘rights' were withheld. One astonishing fact about the 1820 Rising, accepted by many historians today, is that the government, through the agency and double-dealing of spies, actually incited the rising in the first place. Why would a government, gripped by the fear of a popular revolution amongst its populace, incite a general strike in the very epicentre of radicalism? To answer this question, we must unearth the roots of the 1820 Rising, and of radical politics in general. In Scotland, the Presbyterian Church, although often repressive in policing the moral fortitude of its flock, had passionately defended certain ‘rights' amongst the ‘common people' since the time of the Reformation – the first and foremost of these being the right to read the bible in one's own language, without the interference of Latinate priests. Consequently, throughout the 18th century and into the early-19th century, Scotland had one of the highest levels of literacy anywhere in Europe, and indeed the world – a much higher rate than in neighbouring England, or even in revolutionary France. As the economic situation worsened for many workers in Scotland, not only were they receptive to new, ‘radical' solutions to their problems, but they could read for themselves the works of Robert Burns singing the merits of the common man, or read the pamphlets of Tom Paine, such as the famous ‘Rights of Man' (1791-92) which popularised the notions of universal suffrage (for men) and republicanism as never before.Beyond this peculiarly Scottish trend of literacy, it must be stated that the major influence on the 1820 Rising is the fact that those involved had lived in an age of revolution for over a generation. The American Revolution of 1776 had already struck a blow to kingship and its attendant system of feudal privileges.” [1]This is the world in which we meet David Lauriston, an advocate who worked on the defense for the two doomed men. He has come to witness their execution as a final act of solidarity. This is a genius way of showing us who David is and what he stands for and that is one of the things that [a:Joanna Chambers 3080608 Joanna Chambers https://images.gr-assets.com/authors/1448012889p2/3080608.jpg] does masterfully. Each scene helps to illuminate who the characters are and what they're about; whether it's something mundane like having dinner or momentous like bearing witness to a hanging or mind blowing like sucking cock in a dark, filthy alley. These are all moments in a life, the life of David Lauriston. David comes from a small village, the son of hardworking farmers, and the first member of his family to go to University. He's a young lawyer trying to make a name for himself in Edinburgh. He's conflicted over having ‘lost' his country accent in order to succeed in his profession; he doesn't know how to feel over becoming a city dweller and having abandoned manual labor and country habits for the life of books, but he is absolutely guilt ridden by his continuous failure to resist his weakness or defect, which is that David is attracted to men, however he forges ahead with quiet dignity. When he fails he gets up, dusts himself off, and goes on as best he can. I loved that about him. He knows who he is, though he's not inflexible, and is trying to forge a life within personal moral boundaries. This means he's unwilling to deceive any future wife with promises of love and fidelity and therefore chooses to remain a bachelor however socially advantageous a marriage could be.On the day of the execution, while lodging at an inn, David meets one Murdo Balfour and they share a memorable encounter which haunts both men.“The cobbles under his knees were hard and wet, but he didn't care. ... Even if David didn't climax now, he would be able to do so later, just from remembering this. His own cock was painful in his breeches, swollen with desire but constricted by the tight fabric and his kneeling position. In an odd way, he relished the uncomfortable sensation. Strangely it almost enhanced the delight of pleasing Balfour.”Luckily or not through fate and circumstance they meet again and their lives become intertwined which leads them to circle each other with interest and certainly desire. For David this is a problem because giving into his ‘unnatural' proclivities is something he tries to minimize, though he knows eventually he'll always fail, and that is David: trying to do his best but clear on his imperfections. His polar opposite is Murdoch Balfour or as it turns out, Lord Murdo to civilians. Lord Murdo the younger son of a Marquess. He's tall and dark where David is of average height, slender, and a coppery redhead. Murdo is an unabashed hedonist, who enjoys the pleasures of the body, without regard of what others may think, whereas David has been brought up to believe that sex between men is not only a sin, but he also knows it to be a crime in the eyes of the law.“I don't think the fact that I want to stick my cock in the occasional arse is any business of God, the King or anyone else.”This devil-may-care attitude on the part of Murdo is due in large part to his social class and upbringing, but Murdo is also a pragmatist where David is an idealist or a romantic in the classical sense, as Murdo accuses ... and yet when they come together they're combustible. David and Murdo share a couple of intimate and devastating encounters during which David allows himself to go further than he ever has in any previous tryst and Murdo finds himself falling deeper into an attraction and desire that go very much against his wishes.Being a brilliant writer Joanna Chambers knows that a HEA within the scope of this first book would be disingenuous to say the least and dishonest. It would also be false to who these characters have shown themselves to be and their historical and social reality. As a balm she gives us the last two chapters of the book. In my opinion they are the heart and soul of the book and one of the spots where Hamish McKinlay's narration shines bright. He made my eyes leak. David and Murdo finally see each other's true mettle and it comes as no surprise, that though battered, David is the one left standing, whereas you can see the cracks starting to form in Murdo's carefully constructed exterior. Nothing is done out of character and I don't think I'm spoiling anything by saying that they go on their separate ways to live out their respective lives. The heartbreaking, but ultimately honest, final chapter has David embracing the only HFN he can envision for himself. I'm not being glib when I say that I felt happy for him. David was loved and accepted by those who mattered to him and he felt it. He'd reached a level of inner peace. Those aren't things to scoff at in any time period.When I was done with the last period in this book I blindly One-Clicked the rest of the series. I'd recommend that everyone do it too and for this one add the audio. It's the only one available for now but I'll be on the lookout for the rest of the series.[1] my link text

5 Stars, 5 Stars to the tenth powerI read this about three weeks ago and I really liked it. I procrastinated a bit before writing a review and in the ensuing weeks the story and characters kept creeping up on me at the most unexpected moments. I dug up my Gregg Allman and Stones albums and let the story simmer and steep in my bones. When I was ready to review I thought I'd check my highlights/notes and ended up rereading the whole book and loving it the second time around. Yesterday I ordered the paperback. I'll be recommending it to every person I know, romance reader or not, rock star fan or not, M/M reader or not. I guess you can say I LOVED it.The bulk of the story takes place in 1972, right after the Summer of Love and The Stones at Altamont, at that crossroads where the Hippie 60's were ending and the decadent 70's were getting started. Does that qualify as historic or period piece? I don't know but [a:Keelan Ellis 13923273 Keelan Ellis https://images.gr-assets.com/authors/1529410669p2/13923273.jpg] firmly evokes time and place without fanfare. She shows people living and behaving as they did back then, unencumbered by our current mores & cares. That means people smoking, waiting to get home to get or make their phone calls, and if you were gay maybe going to a bathhouse and having sex without the specter of HIV/AIDS. The story revolves around Henry Cole a 27 y.o. talented, multi instrumentalist studio musician and Terrence Blackwood, the frontman for the Vulgar Details. Henry is that strange brew of confident and insecure. He's justifiably self assured of his talent as a musician but is content to stay in the background only doing studio work because the spotlight doesn't call to him. What he isn't ambivalent about is his sexuality, but he is modest in his life expectations:“I need you to understand where I'm coming from,” he said quietly. “I never had any big dreams about a great romance, or anything like it. My biggest hope was that I would meet a guy some day and we'd like each other enough that we'd want to stick around together, meet our mutual friends for drinks on the weekends, rent a two bedroom apartment so his parents could maintain the polite fiction he'd told them about his roommate, possibly get a dog.”Henry has done some studio work for the Details, which in my mind were an amalgamation of The Stones, Thin Lizzy, and The Allman Brothers. At the beginning of the year Dell Miller, “skinny, pretty, long-haired country boy”, (I had Gregg Allman in mind) who was troubled but had elevated the Details from a poor man's Stones into bonafide contenders, on the strength of his artistry and songwriting skills, unexpectedly dies in a car crash and Henry is asked to step in and go on tour with the band. He has reservations and you could say that his worst fears come true but also the dreams he never dared to have.Terence Blackwood, Terry, is the prototypical rock n' roll frontman, think Jagger or even Marc Bolan, theatrical and owning the stage. Walking sex. Terry is English but has long made his home in America and loves it as only a foreigner could, lured by the blues, rock, and wide open spaces. Terry and Dell had a relationship that can be described as complicated, if you're feeling generous, fraught with pain, despair, and confusion. After Dell died Terry was left in an abyss of loss with no proper way to openly grieve, particularly because he didn't know who he was to Dell or where he stood. When Henry joins the tour his main concern is trying not to call too much attention to his abstinent self during the post show groupie parties, but that comes secondary to dealing with Terry's open hostility. Terry who is full of anger and a million questions about his relationship with Dell and is none too happy to see Dell replaced in the band, particularly when Henry's voice echoes Dell's so beautifully. To make matters worse there's a palpable attraction on both sides. Like in real life, nothing is easy.The book is split into two parts. Part One is told from Henry's P.O.V. and deals with the tour and Terry's downward drug and alcohol spiral, how he can find no way to cope with, what for him, was Dell's abandonment. He has been left alone and lonely under the harsh glare of fame. He's falling apart. For his part Henry is navigating treacherous waters: not outing himself, replacing an integral member of an established band when he never even wanted to be on stage, and dealing with Terry's opaque but open hostility. Part Two is split between Terry's & Henry's P.O.V.s and is about Terry seeing himself clearly at last and Henry allowing himself to reach for happiness. I don't want to rehash the whole plot because part of the beauty of this book is how the story sneaks up on you with deceptive simplicity. There are no ‘a-ha' moments but rather a gradual and realistic progression of the relationship between Henry and Terry: the shitty stuff, the scary, the funny, the practical everyday things, and the romantic. I loved that despite expectations Terry, the bonafide Rock God, was the inexperienced one and also the one, who though he perhaps had the most to lose, was willing to throw caution to the wind. Once he knew he wanted Henry he was all in. I loved that the dynamics in the bedroom were not what you'd expect but that it didn't spill over into daily life. I freakin' loved Terry's dry sense of humor, so English, so well done. I commiserated with Henry's doubts and fears and his ultimate courage. I loved that there were no grand traumatic moments in the lives of either MC, that though no one was waving a PFLAG, and the dangers of being openly gay were real and evident, there was space for acceptance and happiness. I loved all the band members and their personalities. I'm eager to read the next book in the series which deals with Richard, Henry's hedonist friend and sometime host. I had to refrain from looking up the songs that are listed for the band, I fully expected to find some YouTube clip of them performing. My heart broke for Dell. Even though he had a tragic end I would be down to read a book about him, hopefully one with an alternate trajectory. His absence was such a vibrant presence in the book that I teared up when the band performed a cover of The Stones' “Dead Flowers” in his honor. I don't want to spoil anything for anyone and I promise to stop saying how much and deeply I loved this book, however I feel compelled to include a beautiful passage towards the end. It's Terry's P.O.V. and it's a testament to the overall hopefulness of the story and it's beautiful:“There was a lot I'd have liked to say to him, but I couldn't at that moment. I'd have liked to tell him how grateful I was to him, how beautiful he was, how unexpected his appearance in my life. I'd have explained that I never thought I could have this. He was the best thing that had ever happened to me. I loved him. He knew all these things, but I still liked to tell him. I decided to save it for the bedroom, though. That was the sort of sexy talk he liked. We were a bit different on that score. He'd tell me how he was going to make me beg for his cock, and I'd tell him how I couldn't imagine my life without him. To each his own.”Sexy, romantic, and funny. What more could you ask for? Run and get your hands on this goodness.This is my visual image of Terry and Henry:Suggested listening: “Sticky Fingers” by The Rolling Stones“Laid Back” by Gregg AllmanSuggested viewing: “Cocksucker Blues” an unreleased Stones documentary that brings to mind a plot point in the book. Also Cameron Crowe's “Almost Famous” for the whole life on the road vibe. Suggested reading: [b:Life 9439303 Life Keith Richards https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/books/1327960451l/9439303.SY75.jpg 14323907] Keith Richard's wonderful autobiography, particularly the section about the recording of “Exile on Main Street” for the feel of endless unhappy partying and falling to pieces while living the high life.

2 Hearts Because I'm feeling generous and there were no grammatical issues, poor spelling, or malapropisms. Also the book was well formatted and the cover was pretty. Yes. I'm grading on a curve.

Where do I begin? I'm not super into cowboys but sometimes the mood strikes and who am I to say no to a whim? Rope, saddles, and spurs will take you a long way. Was it too much to ask? I'm sort of flabbergasted that something that had so much potential went so wrong so quick.

It's the summer break from college and Nick Barker has traveled with his friend Sam to Sam's home, the Lazy River Ranch. Here he is meeting Lex Whitefeather (more on that later) Sam's father when he comes to pick them up at the airport:

“Oh sweet fuck,” he mumbled. Sam's dad was even better-looking than his picture. Standing at least six-foot-four, the man was some kind of god to be worshipped. His Native American heritage was evident in his long, silky black hair and bronzed skin. Nick allowed his eyes to travel up the faded jeans showing off a pair of legs that went on forever, ending with a very impressive bulge. Nick swallowed. Jesus, I'm in trouble. How am I supposed to suppress and erection for an entire summer?”

Let that sink in. This f%kery is at 6%, page 3 by my count!!! Once again I wondered if perhaps I'd missed the blurb telling me this was a shifter story. Nope. As for the erection lasting all summer I hear one should consult a doctor for such symptoms. In any case I persisted, how bad could it be? A few pages later:“They rode the rest of the way singing to old country songs on the radio. Lex's voice was so deep and scratchy it gave Nick goosebumps. They pulled onto the ranch road under a sign that had Lazy River burned into a huge log. Nick thought his eyes would bug out of his head when the house came into view. He'd never seen anything like it. ... Nick had never seen anything this cool even in magazines.”Really? No Architectural Digest, Dwell, or Elle Decor lying around? Sheesh. It turns out that Nick is, of course, an orphan and an unhappy graduate of the foster system. As a narrative device this is perfect. His past is summed up in a paragraph and he has no pesky relatives or for that matter friends to hinder his absolute and immediate absorption with Lex. I wasn't mad at this. I thought a little Daddy kink, some age gap ... yes! I'm on board. Alas no such luck. The age difference is there but aside from some half hearted protests from Lex and later an episode followed by preposterousness it's inconsequential. This is just a ridiculous case of insta-lust/insta-love which rubbed me wrong and left me cold at the same time. A couple of weeks go by and Nick, who is studying veterinary medicine, is learning to ride, ogling Lex, and using the home gym in the basement of the “incredible” ranch. One day Lex shows up for a workout and the inevitable sexy times begin including, for me, unnecessary descriptions of each MCs *ahem nether regions: length, girth, fuzziness etc. Lex is fascinated by Nick's hairlessness. He waxes. Here's a snippet:

“Lex stripped off his shorts before pulling Nick to his knees. Lex began to stroke his own erection and NIck was mesmerized by the work of art in his hand. Darker than his bronzed skin, Lex's cock was long, hard and fatter than most Nick had taken inside him. It appeared as if Lex was holding a tree branch in his hand.”

Or:

“Come on me. I want to feel your cum dripping down my body.” “Damn, that's the sexiest thing anyone's ever said to me,” Nick said ...”

Really? The sexiest? I sort of feel bad for poor Nick.

What to say about Lex? He's evidently some kind of Native American, but also half white? His son Sam has apparently inherited blue eyes and small frame from Lex's mother, however much is made, particularly by Nick, of Lex's bronze skin and long black hair almost to the point of a fetish but that's as far or as deep as his heritage matters. I'm not super PC but maybe a little more could've been done with this? Or maybe, considering the rest of the book, it's a good thing it was left on the surface.

After a week of boning Nick decides he can't stay and be a secret and Lex of course is deep in the closet and can't come out because reasons so with a broken heart Lex drives his true love to the airport and proceeds to mourn his loss. For Three Years. Yep. Three Years. Cue sad music and rain montages.

crickets

Three years later Sam, who had been angry at Nick for leaving, without knowing why he left, is getting married and invites Nick back to the ranch for the wedding and as a way to repair the friendship. Even though he doesn't know if his heart can withstand the reunion, Nick decides to go back because he's not over Lex. He hasn't even been able to have sex with anyone else in Three Years!

“His cock refused to work for anyone except Lex, and Lex didn't want it anymore.”

You read it here first. And guess what? Lex has been celibate too! It's all good though because as soon as Lex picks Nick up at the airport and a quick lunch they're rubbing nasties in the truck and calling each other baby and honey and that's the least ridiculous of the dialogue that follows. It seems that though Lex has been a lifelong closet case and Nick has become a monk since their one-week-sexual-tryst they're both avid porn watchers or pulp readers and parrot all of the cheesiest lines. The afterglow of their first post separation encounter doesn't disappoint:

“Nick crawled into Lex's arms and started licking cum off his hand. “I love your taste almost as much as I love you.”Lex looked at him with tears in his eyes. “I love you too. I'll love you ‘til the day I die.”

Up to this point I'd had some G&T's and was rolling with it. Why not? I thought this could even go in my “so-bad-they're-good” shelf but the nonsense reached ridiculous levels in the next few chapters.

Lex suffers a pretty serious medical condition and, true my eyes were glazed over a bit, but I think that within a week or less he was not only home but deepthroating Nick. Impressive or as I call it at home, bull s*%t. Whichever. At this point I don't know what would be considered spoilers but I can't skip a little detail of the Lex & Nick love fest. Again within the week after Lex's medical emergency the lovers decide that not only do they want to get married ASAP or have some kind of commitment ceremony but that they also want rings. Nipple Rings. Normal. Yep. That's what I was dealing with. There's more but I won't ruin it for someone who may enjoy this brand of crazy. You never. I try to not judge but a few people may be put off by some of the role play these two get into during their marital bliss sex play. Just sayin'.

Yes. That was me with the smile from ear to ear on my way to work. Why you ask? Well I was listening to this piece of cotton candy fluff. Do I believe any of it? Probably not. Particularly not Clint's falling in love over the weekend but between [a:Cardeno C. 4620386 Cardeno C. https://images.gr-assets.com/authors/1411446551p2/4620386.jpg]'s charming and funny story of one man's very bad day taking an unexpected turn to HEA and [a:Ezekiel Robison 14554373 Ezekiel Robison https://s.gr-assets.com/assets/nophoto/user/u_50x66-632230dc9882b4352d753eedf9396530.png]'s fantastic narration I was sold and happy.The way Hawk talks, behaves, and the whole thing with the dogs I thought this might be a shifter story but apparently it's not. It's just one man who knows what he wants when he sees it and pursues it. I also didn't get the Alpha reference but I'm not complaining. The AB was two hours of bliss: funny & sexy in equal measure. I just noticed that this is part of a series but they don't seem to be interconnected so I don't know if I'll go on to the others.

Thank you [a:Josh Lanyon 359194 Josh Lanyon https://images.gr-assets.com/authors/1289326144p2/359194.jpg] for restoring my book faith. I'd had a couple of meh to straight out bad reads recently and wisely decided to go with a master. As an added bonus I had not read this novella and loved it. The icing on the cake? [a:Jason Clarke 61221 Jason Clarke https://images.gr-assets.com/authors/1442452932p2/61221.jpg] did the audio. Heaven. Sean Fairchild is an up-and-coming, out movie star, who after having been stalked for a year goes to the police which results in assigned protection. The story opens the week after the stalker has presumably died in a high speed police chase. Daniel Moran, the detective who was assigned to the case, and Sean are settling into a relationship after getting close during the investigation. Dan is also out and proud and in great measure that was the reason he was assigned to the case, to burnish the LAPD's image. There's one hitch: threatening postcards & phone calls are coming from the deceased stalker.I won't say much more so as to not ruin the plot. You may guess early on what's happening but I for one loved the Gaslight vibe, the beach setting, and the exploration of Hollywood culture. I loved how patient Dan was with Sean, if a bit high handed, how he loved him with deeds and not just words. He's described as old-fashioned movie-star handsome and all I could envision was Jon Hamm. I've seen some people complain about Sean but I think he was logical and justified in his fears, insecurities, and assumptions. The author perfectly limns Sean's history, coupled with a year long stalking and the anxiety over his next role it all made absolute sense. My only complaint is that I want more about these two. Greedy.***Just found [b:The White Knight 19070394 The White Knight (The Dark Horse, #2) Josh Lanyon https://images.gr-assets.com/books/1385840319s/19070394.jpg 19427762], which seems to be a prequel to this, which makes perfect sense as this story starts with Dan & Sean as an ‘established' couple. Just what the Doctor ordered.***

3.5This was an interesting intro to a new couple, though I don't know that they could be categorized as such at the beginning or at the end of this. Hunter Dane is a kind of “super cop” wink at the name who also happens to be a gorgeous nude model and habitué of an exclusive BDSM club. Aren't they all? The story takes place on a night when Hunter comes to the club looking for oblivion or absolution after a particularly nasty case. He chooses to submit to Camden/Cam “... a Norse sex god, a gentle soul and an Alpha male.” or “a Norse god in the guise of an unpretentious youth” No this is not a shifter story. That's how Cam is described in the book. He's a winter Olympic medalist and apparently Dom extraordinaire. Hunter has avoided him because of Cam's demand of absolute submission which extends to no safe words. I'm not a stickler for “rules” and in fact prefer BDSM books that don't rely on scenes but, if taken seriously, this gave me some pause.Maybe I'm being a bore but I don't trust the life wisdom of a 24? year old skater boi to figure out someone's deep existential agony over the horrors of human nature, particularly when said blond Norse god doesn't know the other person AT ALL. Second problem: “But sex wasn't the point, tonight. It was just a tool for subjugation, the first phase of stripping off the layers inside which, Hunter Dane dwelt in isolation and pain.” Sex as subjugation? Uh ... I think I'll pass on that. As I said before, aside from seeing Hunter at the club Cam knows nothing about him, not even his sexual orientation and yet proceeds to have anal sex with him even though Hunter says no. The author tries to patch this up later by explaining how Cam didn't come, thus getting no sexual gratification. You see he was only doing it for Hunter's emotional benefit. Sure. Whatevs. A load of BS. Again if these two knew each other and this type of thing was their jam I'd be front row center with the popcorn. Doms are always a hard sell for me and I can't say I loved Cam even with his puppy dog act the morning after or Hunter feeling all happy and light.Having said all my complaints I still think I'll go for a second helping of these two kooks in [b:Matchstick Men 35439195 Matchstick Men (A Hunter Dane Investigation #2) Adira August https://images.gr-assets.com/books/1497519546s/35439195.jpg 56821213] because I was sufficiently intrigued by Hunter. Whatever craziness they get up to once they DO know each other will be okay in my book.Overall I enjoyed the narrative voice and choices.ps. where are all these secret BDSM clubs and god like specimens who belong to them?

3.00 for the book, 3.5 for the Audio

This is my third Felice Stevens read and I'm beginning to sense a pattern. The landscape is authentic and recognizable along with the usual cast of New York characters. In this case some nice Jewish boys from Brooklyn and their friends and family. I like to read about everyday people but this one was just on the ‘underwhelming' side.

Usually when I do audios I follow along with the print just to ‘see' the words or even highlight but in this instance I stuck strictly to my ears and the performance by Derrick McClain. I happen to like Derrick very much and once again he didn't disappoint. There's a clear distinction between characters and a nice but not over dramatized narration. He even does nice voices for the women in the story. I'm not sure he did any favors to the main MC, Gideon Marks. No fault on Derrick's part but rather on who Gideon is or how he is written.

Gideon Marks has come home to Brooklyn from a self imposed Florida exile. He wants to make a success of his catering business but he also wants to rub it in the face of those who thought he wouldn't amount to anything. He particularly wants to impress one Jonah Fine and Jonah is impressed. So what was my problem? Glad you asked. I had a few, though none of them were deal breakers, more like sand in your shoes. Not as bad as pebbles but annoying nonetheless.

The major stumble for me is Gideon himself and when you sort of dislike the main MC everything teeters. He had the standard issue fraught childhood, his mother and beloved grandmother were killed in an accident leaving him with an alcoholic father who was ill equipped to deal with Gideon's needs which went beyond the usual teenage growing pains. What said needs were/are the reader can figure out pretty soon before being told. It's very noble of the author to have a character with these issues and having him deal with them, but Gideon is a bit of an insufferable ass and with something like a boulder on his shoulder. For one thing all those nay sayers he's come home to stare down are mostly in his head and while this attitude is perfectly believable and understandable in a troubled teenager it gets harder to swallow from an almost 30 successful businessman. It annoys me to no end to have people jump to conclusions about the intentions or motivations of others when their main complaint is being unfairly judged. Also when people do nothing but snap at others when they're being shown nothing but kindness I want to reach in the book and slap them. I wanted to grab Gideon by his curly locks and drag him around a bit and hug him later.

Another hurdle is that though Jonah and Gideon knew each other since they were teenagers I don't see how they would get hung up on each other. As far as I could tell they only saw each other at temple; they went to different schools and weren't even friends. So how smitten could they have been to the point where Jonah seems to have been waiting for Gideon for ten years when they never had anything going?

In any case after some back and forth of Jonah being unbelievably patient with Gideon and letting him figure out that he is and always was into Gideon our love birds are living in bliss when we have the ‘out of nowhere' righteous indignation from Gideon, subsequent stomping out, and some groveling from Jonah and forgiveness from Gideon. Thing is in my book Jonah had nothing to apologize for. Another instance of Gideon being a prickly diva. More stuff happens, Gideon confronts and makes some sort of peace with his past and Jonah solves his non-problems. Good people doing good things. Amen.

The theme here seems to be that your enjoyment of this book will depend on how much you like or hate Gideon. I don't hate him but I can see us having words.

***2.5 because someone is bound to like it

This is the third installment in this series but can be read as a stand alone. There is reference to the characters from the previous two books and the history for these two was set up in the prior installment but the author does a fairly good job of rehashing the important parts. That's the good news.

As much as I kicking and screaming liked the first two I kind of hated this one. Once again the whole mystery aspect of the story is just kind of decorative but I'd resigned myself to that and was just hoping to see more of Justin & Marcus and maybe enjoy a new couple. Sadly one half of that new couple is Damien Fitzgerald. Let's just say that if he ended up dead by the end of the book I wouldn't have been unhappy.

Damien is a renowned investigative journalist who travels far and wide to bring scumbags to justice. He and Justin were once an item but have long since just been good friends and when Damien's nerves are frayed to shreds over a menacing stalker he allows Justin & Marcus to offer him refuge at The Warfield. Marcus takes on the the stalker case and feels that Damien needs to be kept hidden. Robert Wyler, bartender at the hotel, and a friend, offers to help and ends up taking Damien to his isolated cabin. We all know what comes next and that's fine. My problem again is Damien. He's insufferable and annoying. He spends half his time unreasonably yelling at Robert or swishing out of rooms and slamming doors. I'm sure he's meant to be justified due to a harrowing sexual experience in his past and I felt for him but his behavior is inconsistent on the sexual front and during non sexual interactions he's just a plain snob. It's okay to lead the Whole Foods life but if you're at the County Fair you eat the fried Twinkie with a smile. Damien only eats salads and other healthy things and looks down on those who don't. Ugh.

On the sexual front Damien was the victim of an abusive sadist, within what he considered a consensual BDSM relationship. Since then he's shied away from any kind of domineering lover. Totally understandable. Robert is a big guy who, because of his size, people assume is the Dom type and he absolutely is not. And yet there are a couple of scenes where Damien seems to be turned on by Robert holding him tight and then there's Robert's voice being the only thing calming him during panic attacks. Sadly none of this is satisfactorily explored. Disappointing. I found myself wishing that a different writer could take this couple and their story and write about them without the bells and whistles of the mystery. No such luck.

It's not malicious and it's competently written but I can't recommend it.

Re-Read
This was a re-read for me mostly because I just read “The Complications of T” which for some bizarre reason I hadn't read. Needless to say it lead me directly back to this and I loved it so much more the second time around so it's going up from 4 to 5. Part of that is that I just got the audio by Nick J. Russo and it's official: I'm getting a second job to have him read me everything from menus to instruction manuals. He's brilliant.

I also enjoyed all of the nuances in Rudie's character, how he's willing to be vulnerable and open but also strong and goes for what he wants. Lucky for James who, let's face it, has been a bit of a hypocrite at least with himself as far as his sexual desires. But I don't have it in me to judge someone else's reasons why. There are many and all valid. Happily James is now ready to make the leap and hopeful that things can go well. Rudie & James' HFN is well on the way to a believable HEA and I can just see James really getting into giving Rudie what he wants. Delicious.

This is a series in the loosest terms, more like a thematic thing. We hear briefly about Tim & Stuart from TCoT because it turns out James and Stuart are cousins.

My hope now is for the next installment. Fingers Crossed

Original Review

This was a sweet read. James Talbot is a successful actor whose life is less so and he is on his yearly retreat at The Frangipani hotel, which has seen better days, when his solitude is broken by the appearance of Rudie Brauer a German actor whom he is acquainted with but wouldn't' call a friend.

Suffice it to say that some beers lead to moments of emotional openness and James having to come to grips with attraction & lust for Rudie who is more than receptive, being an openly gay man who at one time harbored a crush for James.

More than panty melting sexy this was an intimate and emotional story and I liked it. James is a man at a crossroads in his life. Separated from his wife for two years & maybe on the wrong side of thirty which is no small problem in Hollywood and just feeling general ennui. Here comes Rudie showing him another possibility and that maybe if he comes out as gay the sky won't collapse. It is not strictly speaking a GFY story as James confesses to a series of encounters with men over the years, all of which he has fooled himself meant nothing as he was conveniently always under the bottle when they happened. But by the end of the story he is open to seeing where the road will lead him with Rudie and try something new and as a metaphor for James' life the author gives us the hotel which will be sold by the end of the season & the bungalows where he has stayed for years will be gone just like his old life.

In this HFN he decides to look into buying a new vacation condo on the island and is happily making plans for time spent there with Rudie and little else. I should add that Rudie is a sweetheart but in the end this is not his story, he's the catalyst that sets James on the road to living.

3.75I'll confess that this was my first [a:Cardeno C. 4620386 Cardeno C. https://images.gr-assets.com/authors/1411446551p2/4620386.jpg] though I've added a bunch of her books to my TBR. It was mostly the right length for the amount of time that I had and just the right amount of fluff that I needed after a really annoying read. As a plus I also did the audio by [a:Robert M. Clark 338303 Robert M. Clark https://s.gr-assets.com/assets/nophoto/user/u_50x66-632230dc9882b4352d753eedf9396530.png] a ‘new to me' narrator who I actually enjoyed quite a bit. This was a sweet fated mates story which I stomach quite easily when it comes to shifter stories. Abel and Kai were adorable together and Abel's family is one I wouldn't mind belonging to. I liked how Kai was allowed to exact his own revenge but am not too clear on why it took him so long to do so or how it really took Abel sooo long to even wonder what had really happened or was going on. However I didn't go into this one for logic or sense. Just wanted a dose of acceptable ‘mine' love and it's exactly what I got. Perfect.

I have a problem. I just discovered that I have about 14 books by L.A. Witt and somehow have only read two, including this one. Weird.

In any case this book can be summed up as a scorching one-night-stand that became so much more. Eric & Shane meet at a club in Okinawa where they're both stationed and though DADT has been repealed neither one is looking to embark on a relationship because let's face it: military life is not precisely welcoming to LGBTQ community. The laws and regulations are changing but the culture not so much. In any case they find that the attraction is undeniable and decide to give it a go even if it's on the DL only to stumble upon the fact that they are in a criminal relationship. Eric is an enlisted man and Shane is an officer. That is an absolute no go and for good reasons.

I loved how though both men were falling inevitably and inexorably in love the manage to maintain logic and common sense, cognizant of all that they've invested and sacrificed for their military careers and their loved ones. I liked Eric's story with his ex wife and his daughter and loved how we got to see Shane's ex wife's side of things and that she wasn't just left hanging as the villain. We all have our reasons. And I very much enjoyed the ultimate resolution that will allow Eric and Shane to be together openly.

The author clearly took a trip to Japan and there's a palpable sense of place and geography which gave color and authenticity to the story. I also did the audio by Greg Boudreaux aka Greg Tremblay and he's always a treat.

You know when you plan, anticipate, and salivate at the thought of a book? When you look at the cover, read the blurb, and rub your greedy hands together anticipating a good time? Yeah. sigh That's how I felt and then got kicked in the ovaries. I don't even know where to start.

Let's start with the cover. Though I admire and covet them as much as the next reader it doesn't influence my enjoyment of a book, however I'll point out that as pretty as the tattooed boy on the cover is he has zero resemblance to anyone in the book. Zilch. But whatever, right? If only!

I'm a fairly patient and generous reader and I allow myself to believe any number of BS stories if they're well told. I believe in shifters, vampires, and lizard men having meaningful and fulfilling relationships with mortal humans. I've enjoyed tentacle porn, alien yaoi abductions, and Mpreg. I've sworn on a stack of Bibles for the truth of certain Insta-Lust books, I'm looking at you “Uneven” by Anah Crow or lesser trifles like anything by Charity Parkerson, Ella Frank or Tricia Owens. I enjoyed them all and was left with a smile on my face. No such luck here.

All of the events in this book take place within maybe two weeks as far as I could figure and they concern Alex Banez, a “runner” on a film set falling head over heels in love with Atwell Richards who I can only imagine as some sort of demi-God and producer extraordinaire kind of like Robert Evans in his heyday. About a million things happen and the author flirts and dangles about a thousand tropes. I didn't believe a word of it.

I should've known I was in trouble when at about page 5 I came upon this little nugget of Alex first laying eyes on Atwell:


“Alex's breath caught in his throat, and his gaze unconsciously softened at the beautiful set of brown eyes that lifted to meet his. But it wasn't just the stranger's eyes that captivated him – it was the full package. The way his face jutted down in sharp angles, softening at his cheekbones to give his elegant features an almost homey touch. The mess of soft blond curls that fell delicately about his head, framing his face in a way that took the breath right out of anyone daring enough to gaze upon his beauty.”

Let that sink in. This is not a shifter/fated mates story. Maybe it should've been. So many things would've made sense and been acceptable.

Alex wants to be a director so he's making his way up the film industry ladder being a “runner” on a movie set. Perfect. Plenty of meat on that bone for narrative fodder. But no. Alex also comes from a troubled childhood complete with foster care, druggie brother, and a criminal past that's never fully explored. One of the problems with this book is that it seems like the author threw in everything but the kitchen sink. IT'S ALL HERE. The no-good brother, the unsavory past complete with addiction, the sassy female friends/relatives who are utterly comfortable giving gay men dating advice and watching them screw, the hints of rough sex, dominance, and submission in the bedroom, the age difference, the all powerful man whose presence makes others quake in their boots etc. It's all laughable.

Atwell (what kind of name is that to yell in the midst of orgasm?) like Alex is smitten at first sight so I guess that's good news:


“Atwell found him intriguing, enthralling even. Hell, they'd only met for a few moments and he was damn near obsessed with the man.”

Atwell wines and dines Alex the same day they meet and the “boy” does half hearted protests but allows himself to be impressed by Atwell's “luxury Cadillac”, in this case a Jaguar XJ, later a Maserati, and the unbelievable fact that he is part owner of an exclusive Hollywood restaurant:


“You own half of a restaurant? I didn't even know that was a thing,” Alex said.

Amish people wouldn't be impressed by these things. Ugh.

The rest is just more nonsense about Alex not wanting Atwell's help to rise in the film industry but also can't go to school because ‘reasons' and Atwell though being an industry titan doesn't seem to know who David Fincher is! WTF #@* Also I don't think producers are as revered by the general public as the author seems to think and what kind of project are they working on that requires multiple directors at one studio lot and all powerful Atwell watching over them?
From there we're off to the bedroom for some ‘mine' moments and laughable attempts at D/s but it's all good because Atwell's refractory period is awesome!
Alex is not only a recovering addict but also seems to have some kind of eating disorder but there's no time to dwell on any of that because he's too busy crying over Atwell and looking pretty.

I could go on but I won't because it would just be cruel. I'm going with two stars because the book is not intentionally malicious, there's no erasure, technically it's well formatted, there were very few typos or errors and who knows? Maybe it was just me. Maybe there's someone out there who'll love this and it will rock their world.

* On a side note I know that authors want to signal the ethnicity of their characters but just saying so is enough. I'm Latina, so are my siblings, relatives, and many friends. We don't go on all day dropping Spanish words into every conversation. Many Latinos don't even speak Spanish. On the plus side there were no misspellings this time around. Praise for small favors.*

4.5I was in need of a little crack this morning and though nominally this is a Christmas novella it worked very nicely in August to pull me from the doldrums of a pretty bad read. Seems fitting as my first [a:Mary Calmes 3152411 Mary Calmes https://images.gr-assets.com/authors/1473696272p2/3152411.jpg] read was also a Christmas story which I wholly enjoyed. It's odd then that though I have a bunch of her books on my TBR queue and own quite a few I hadn't read any more until I recently did [b:Frog 13563087 Frog Mary Calmes https://images.gr-assets.com/books/1332881683s/13563087.jpg 19139126]. I think it might've been a self preservation thing because though I know I'm being gulled I surrendered willingly and will surely do it again. Add [a:Michael Niemann 731263 Michael Niemann https://images.gr-assets.com/authors/1335717277p2/731263.jpg] as a narrator and a little slice of heaven was mine for a couple of hours.Eli/Jake has abandoned his perfect boyfriend in Chicago and come home to California to a family he hasn't seen in 13 since he was twelve for reasons that are best not analyzed because they won't bear up under scrutiny. But if you let yourself fall under the spell you'll feel rewarded and be amazed at how much story and emotion is packed in a few short pages. I won't scrutinize anything. I'll leave that for a second read. Today this gave me a much needed lift complete with a terrible past but a perfect future all wrapped up in heart melting love. A good writer can sell you bubble gum and call it dessert.

... so this is how you do it. This is how you write a book about grief, loss, mourning, second chances at love and life. As an added bonus we have an unapologetic and unabashed bisexual character who's sexual identity isn't erased, mocked or doubted. Not by him.

Michael has been floundering through life after the unexpected death of his husband Alex. He meets Rebecca and perhaps unwittingly she's able to bridge a connection with his young daughter Andrea, one that he's been unable to make. Andie is so closed off to him that she no longer calls him daddy but rather Michael for reasons that are absolutely logical. Meanwhile after three years Rebecca herself is just starting to regain her feet after a nearly dying from the attack of an obsessed fan. This trio of outwardly and inwardly scarred people come together to form a new whole blanketed by love.

Rebecca's work world is set within the Hollywood community and as far as I can tell realistically told. There are vain, superficial, stereotypical types but there are also normal, hardworking, everyday people who happen to work in the film industry. Michael himself is one of them. He's an electrician. Rebecca used to be a well known sitcom actress but after her attack and subsequent “disfigurement” has successfully pursued the development & production aspect of the industry. Michael was happily married but became widowed after a drunk driver killed his husband Alex.

I liked that neither Michael nor Rachel questioned his bisexuality. That aspect of his life was neither mocked nor belittled. Friends on both camps originally question the relationship but more out of protectiveness and loyalty not in a bid to erase bisexuality. I liked the pace at which the romance developed and that some things were left maybe unresolved i.e. Michael's relationship with his father, because sometimes in life there aren't solutions for everything. I liked that in spite of their attraction and falling in love Rebecca and Michael have to figure things out on their own and in their own time. I liked that even though there are mystical or quasi religious aspects to the story they weren't overwhelming but rather palatable to unbelievers like Michael and myself. I liked the motif of the ocean as an ever renewing source of life. I liked that Michael is unsure as a parent and screws up but manages to get up in his own time. I liked that Rebecca has to overcome her vision of herself on her own before she can be truly open to accept Michael's attraction and love. She's not cured by magic d*ck or true love.

The romance is more on the sweet side than the hot but it is exactly what the characters need at this juncture of their lives. Healing. Wholeness.

One of the reasons that kept this from being a 5 Star read for me was almost paradoxical. Alex Richardson, Michael's deceased husband, is so perfectly and exquisitely rendered, that in spite of knowing his fate, I found myself wanting to read his and Michael's love story: the origin of their friendship, that fateful first kiss, the first date. I want to know about Michael's childhood, his father, and how he ultimately came to know Alex. I want to know about Laurel and Casey. Same goes for Rebecca's friends: I want to know more about Trevor and his relationship with Julian, I want to know about Cat and Evan Beckman. So I guess for me this story was a bit cursed by the writer being so good at rendering the other characters so vividly. Go figure. You're damned if you do and you're if you don't.

The other thing is that I felt at times queer and gay were used interchangeably, even by Michael, and they're not quite the same thing. But that is perhaps getting too hung up on terminology. My bigger gripe is a personal one which I've had the misfortune? to have also encountered on another recent read and that is that apparently one year of mourning has become a defacto acceptable time to get re-hitched upon the death of a loved one. Mind you I've told my hubs that I'll be at his wake with a date and wearing red but this whole “falling in love” at the year mark of having lost a long time life partner and true love seems arbitrary and mostly just a way of getting narrative angst. Being attracted to someone else? Sure. Falling irrevocably in love? I'm not sure. I do believe that life is for the living so I'll go with it.

In any case I enjoyed this very much.

p.s. I also did the audio on this. The chapters are pretty much alternately split between Michael and Rebecca which are respectively done in the audio by [a:Kevin Scollin|7024485|Kevin Scollin|https://s.gr-assets.com/assets/nophoto/user/u_50x66-632230dc9882b4352d753eedf9396530.png] and [a:Paige McKinney|7410608|Paige McKinney|https://s.gr-assets.com/assets/nophoto/user/u_50x66-632230dc9882b4352d753eedf9396530.png]. They're both adequate if perhaps unexciting and will do if you need your hands otherwise engaged. Neither one can seem to do a southern accent which is the background for both Michael and Rebecca but do fairly well with an English accent (Trevor) and a little girl (Andrea).

This is one of those warm bath kind of books. The kind you can submerge yourself in after a long tiring day and feel confident that nothing terrible will happen and that good people walk the earth.If you read [a:Lane Hayes 7125719 Lane Hayes https://images.gr-assets.com/authors/1489672643p2/7125719.jpg]'s Better Than series you met Rand in [b:Better Than Safe 25512977 Better Than Safe (Better Than, #4) Lane Hayes https://images.gr-assets.com/books/1440493811s/25512977.jpg 45293914]. He was Seth's friend and frankly I was more interested in him at times than the main couple. However like in real life Rand has had to tame his wild child self to succeed in the adult world. He's moved to NYC with his band in hopes of finally catching fire and to do so has agreed to keep his bisexuality on the DL. In order to better hone his playing skills he decides to take lessons from Will, an NYU student who recommended their current guitarist, one Rand is not too happy with. Will is a musical savant and a veritable Matryoshka doll. He's full of good surprises.I think the author captures the world of up and coming indie bands pretty well, the social media aspect, the groupies etc. Along with Will's family problems I thought that was more than enough plot for the book which is why the whole Leah situation felt superfluous. Unnecessary and fabricated drama. I did love that appearances to the contrary Will doesn't need to be rescued. He's his own man doing things at his own pace. He's awesome. And Rand is just an adorable overgrown puppy who's still learning how to behave but we have great hopes for him now that Will has him in hand.I did the audio by [a:Seth Clayton 14956475 Seth Clayton https://s.gr-assets.com/assets/nophoto/user/u_50x66-632230dc9882b4352d753eedf9396530.png] and it was perfect as usual.I'm looking forward to the next book particularly if we get more of George Gulden and his good hearted self and a word to the wise to Rand: a bagel is always more than a bagel.

3.25 Hearts for books 1 & 2 as a whole

CRASHING WAVES, book 2, starts three months after the events in book one. Justin has been trying to get over much of what happened and also over Marcus who has started his P.I. business in Atlanta. When “strange” things and “accidents” start happening at the hotel and to Justin in particular, Marcus comes to aid in spite of his bruised heart.

Book two features the same omnipotent and omniscient villain and our sweet southern men continue to be as clueless as ever. I don't want to give any of the “mystery” away because at heart I'm a good person but there was one thing that had me shaking my head vigorously NO at the improbability of it. Justin and Peter's father was a collector of expensive, rare, and vintage cars which he stored in a barn located on the property where the family manse is. Warfield père has been dead for 15 years and in all that time neither one of the two Warfield sons has gone inside said barn once or seen any of the cars. Really???

Aside from the non-mysteries we have two more secret babies, childhood sweethearts torn apart and family secrets that go back a generation or two. All of this could be taken in stride while one has a drink or a bottle and I confess that I kept flipping the metaphorical pages wondering what the author would come up with next.

So why the rating? Because in spite of myself I was entertained by this crazy train. I liked Justin and Marcus, the age difference and how it was sort of a non-issue, I liked the development of the romance between them over the course of the two books, it felt true and organic, and they're not chest pounding alpha males. Their cluelessness sprang from perhaps being too good as human beings? The writing was good, though not necessarily moving, and the descriptions of the area show a true love of place and knowledge of geography. Also the books are well formated. One thing that did niggle at me was the description of black characters. I don't think there was intentional racism but the black characters in the book are either victims, villains, or faithful retainers reminiscent of Gone With the Wind. I don't know. My skin prickled a bit.

By the end of Bk.2 evil has been vanquished, the couple for the next book has been set up, and Justin & Marcus are well on their way to HEA. Small favors.

Second Read 5/30/2018 Because I got the paperbacks and felt like a refresher before starting Bk.2 [b:Tramps and Thieves 35491732 Tramps and Thieves (Murder and Mayhem, #2) Rhys Ford https://images.gr-assets.com/books/1501514650s/35491732.jpg 56892395]. Totally worth it and if anything I liked it more than the first time around. Knowing the why & who of the mystery I was able to just concentrate on Rook & Dante. ***************Happy Dance 4.5 only because my heart beats true blue for ColeThe combined forces of [a:Rhys Ford 4968409 Rhys Ford https://images.gr-assets.com/authors/1308678470p2/4968409.jpg] & [a:Greg Tremblay 8108759 Greg Tremblay https://images.gr-assets.com/authors/1484561919p2/8108759.jpg] can only make me jump for joy. Couple that with one of my favorite tropes, cops & robbers, and I'm putty in your hands. We're in the familiar territory of reformed bad boys getting banged up and being rescued & put back together by stoic and maybe not so perfect heroes. Rook Stevens is a “reformed” B&E guy who had a peripatetic childhood mostly spent with carnies because of the whims of a flighty and less than competent mother. He owns Potter's Field, a shop that deals in pop memorabilia and is basically the wet dream of any film or tv geek. Rook is also out and proud and with a hard shell. That that shell protects a heart of gold is no one's business. In spite of having gone legit he keeps a few cards up his sleeve for times of trouble and trouble comes in the shape of the dead body of a former associate in the middle of his shop and all evidence pointing towards Rook as the culprit. As luck would have it the case falls to one Det. Dante Montoya, a delicious Mexican-Cuban walking Adonis, with whom Rook shares history and not all of it particularly good.To say that that I liked everything about this would be an understatement. First accept that you're in Rhys Ford territory and the heroes will get banged good almost to the point that I suspect she's a bit of a sadist but the tender care of their SO's is always worth it. Once it becomes clear to Dante and everyone else that Rook is being framed Dante is there to help in any way that Rook will allow him. Rook struggles to accept help and even at the end he's still a work in progress but the way he gives himself to Dante, once he does, is complete and beautiful. And what can I say about Dante but that I'd be his Cuervoany day of the week. Book 2 is coming out soon and I'm guessing we'll get to dive deeper into both of our MCs parental histories which so far ain't pretty but they've got each other to face the future.“Lying next to Rook Stevens was akin to trying to take a nap on a bed of nails. A lot of practice, a seemingly futile exercise, but once accomplished, a sliver of nirvana from its mastery.”I loved Rook's grand gesture at the end. I loved Rook's grandfather and the members of his extended community that we get to meet. I liked Dante's partner and his Uncle Manny, who needs his own book. The villain wasn't immediately obvious but even when you realize who it is it just serves to reveal more about who Rook truly is. And then we have scenes like this that just make me swoon:“Can you do that for me, Dante? Will you just take me home and ... stay there with me? For a little bit?” “I can do that, cuervo.” Dante caught the waitress's attention, motioning her over. “And babe, I'll hold you for however long you want me to. And even then, I might not let you go.”I'm getting my First-Aid kit ready in preparation for book 2 because the odds of Rook not getting at least a paper cut are nil. This is Rhys Ford and I don't want her any other way.

3.25 Hearts for books 1 & 2 as a whole

Readers should be forewarned that the first two books in this series have to be read/reviewed together if you're hoping for any kind resolution to the “mystery” or semblance of a satisfying romance. I use the word mystery only in the loosest of terms.

When I spotted these up for review my heart did a little pitter patter. Romance & mystery are my jam, my cup of tea, and my catnip. This was none of those.

The Warfield Hotel is one of those idyllic southern hotels in Beaufort, S.C. and you may be getting ready to book a room but refrain from the impulse. Not because dead bodies are showing up on the beach but because there's more campy drama in and around this town than in whole seasons of many daytime or nighttime soaps, no mystery, and if you stop at the first book, an unsatisfying romance.

Justin Warfield is still gorgeous at 40 and counting the days until he can be free from the unhappy marriage that was foisted on him. He knew he was gay but bended to his father's will and got married however this didn't prevent him from having a couple of affairs or even belonging to one of those fabled sex clubs that exist in every other romance book. Things happen. In spite of the ongoing infidelities, which I'm not really bothered about, Justin is a good, honorable and stand up guy but I'd also say dim. He's a good brother, friend, and employer. He's getting ready to celebrate his brother Peter's 25th birthday which also brings Peter into his inheritance of half of the hotel easing Justin's divorce from his wife Caroline. Peter brings along his friend Marcus who's had the hots for Justin since he first started visiting The Warfield with Peter during school breaks. Now at 26 he's hoping that Justin will see him as a man and that something can develop between them. What ensues is craziness.

I don't know how much is too much to give away for those who may love this kind of drama so I'll be as oblique as possible. The bodies of men who have a connection to Justin start appearing near the hotel. Someone is either trying to frame Justin or kill him. Marcus is a budding P.I. but he does very little investigating and as far as the reader is concerned none is needed. We know who the villain is and frankly it's shocking that Justin, Peter, and Marcus don't. There are a couple of secret babies, affairs, some recent and some from the past, crazy soon to be exes, a couple of close calls for Justin, extreme homophobia from one character, and more. So much more. All of this just in the first book! If you have a high tolerance for faux drama you'll be happy until the last two chapters kick you in the ovaries because though the reader knows what's happened the MCs don't and like salt on a wound they're not together when the book ends. Weirdly that's the only thing that makes sense. By the end Justin is not emotionally stable enough to embark on a relationship. A note of honesty.

***4.5

From the age of eight and until very recently I always had dogs among my pets. A ragtag collection of mutts of different sizes very dear to me. Besides teaching them to stay, not bark like lunatics for no reason, and let me know when they “had to go” I never felt compelled to teach them any tricks of the roll-over-give-me-your-paw variety. Couldn't see the point of it ... I loved and enjoyed them without the extras but I do like to walk the talk so if formal BDSM gets your jollies going I want to understand on some level and so I read BDSM books. The ones with Doms and Masters and Subs wanting to be claimed. The ones with clubs, dungeons, St. Andrew's Crosses, scenes, safe words, people being called Master/Sir and others being called ‘boy' or ‘pet' being trained to ‘walk to heel', kneel, keep their eyes low, and do things like ‘present' etc. I get the Subs and love them. The Doms are another story. I waver between hating them for being sadistic a#%holes (no matter that the Subs enjoy the pain/humiliation/service) and wondering why someone would want the responsibility of being someone else's everything. Other D/s books, the informal “here's a belt, let's use this to tie you up” variety have my number on speed dial. This was research. That's my story.

I did the audio for “Submission”, the first in the Deviations Series, narrated by Maxx Power and while he didn't bowl me over I didn't hate it. As a narrator he's very good with precise and clear diction and well marked differentiation between character voices ... perhaps a little clinical in tone? I don't know. It works well for this type of BDSM story. My hiccup came with the voice he does for Noah when Noah is in his submissive role. To my ears he sounds almost a bit childish but a fake childish. Kind of like a faux innocent voice but then maybe I'm just being fastidious. I'd say give it a go. You'll be entertained because the story itself is good. I'd recommend it.

“Submission” is the first in a five book series which chronicles a BDSM relationship from its inception. It falls within what I've coined the FSOG progeny and I in no way mean that as a slur and I can confidently say that this book surpases FSOG by leaps and bounds. The writing is good and neither MCs is a shy innocent virgin or under 3o Master of The Universe. Still some of the conventions have been kept.

Noah is cop by day but submissive on nights and weekends. After some pretty bad experiences he's been coming to a certain BDSM club where everyone knows your name, think Cheers but with dungeons and adult playrooms, in the hopes of finding a Dom or Master to take him on and satisfy some deep-seated needs. What these needs are remains a bit vague apart from the general “let another shoulder all responsibility while controlling me for my own good” variety. I suppose more will be explored/revealed in future books and I'm pretty patient reader.

Dr. Tobias Vincent is a veterinarian, of the farm animal variety, by day and Dom extraordinaire during his off hours. It's almost like a super-hero with his civilian persona and of course he has money which allows for all the toys. And I mean ALL THE TOYS. Lets just say there's a former horse stable full of modified stalls.

Tobias and Noah are set up by Bradford, the manager of The Club, who also apparently functions as a matchmaker for BDSM couples, and they hit the ground running.

I liked it very much. I liked that though the authors don't do a primer per se for BDSM newbies you could be a total babe in the woods and understand what the the dynamics are. Primarily this is because Noah himself though a submissive seems to be confused as to what that is or why he needs it. Thankfully Master Tobias is here to pick up the slack and clarify:

“You know,” Tobias said easily, “I firmly believe that regular discipline lessens the need for punishment.” Another snap and the two lines were neatly connected. “But then, punishment is often a rewarding experience. What do you think?”

Noah hunched his shoulders and then flexed them. He puffed out air with a rough sound and cleared his throat. “Punishment is about learning from mistakes, discipline is about learning not to make them,” he said quickly. It was obviously a phrase he'd studied carefully at some point. He took two quick breaths, held them a moment, and when he exhaled he relaxed somewhat. “I'll accept the first, not the second.” Tobias laid a fourth stroke on Noah's back and stepped close, pressing one finger into him and slowly thrusting back and forth. Noah groaned. “Oh, God.” His head dropped forward. “Mistakes are allowed, made up for, and forgiven. Discipline lets you know yourself, lets you gain strength.”

Second read/listen 12/13/19-12/14/19Same thoughts as before. I enjoyed revisiting with these folks, it's a bit on the heavy with ‘issues', but none fake or contrived. My only ‘take-back' would be that how soon Jordan moves on or not from his loss is none of my business. Presumptuous of me to judge how a human heart can heal from loss. Who am I to say?First read/listen 8/3/17 -8/6/17This is book 2 in the “Through Hell and Back” series narrated by the excellent [a:Kale Williams 15569309 Kale Williams https://s.gr-assets.com/assets/nophoto/user/m_50x66-82093808bca726cb3249a493fbd3bd0f.png]. I'd say that one star is for his performance. The choice of narrative speed and voices is exactly on point and lends poignancy and grit to the story while also grounding it. The book works fairly well as a stand-alone but I'd say having book one in your pocket enhances the experience as far as character development and emotions.This is a story about mourning, second chances, and forgiveness. Forgiving others and perhaps the hardest thing, forgiving ourselves. So ... a little on the heavy but not overwhelmingly so.The story picks up nine months or so after tragic events at the end of book one and Dr. Jordan Peterson is still a walking shell. Existing but not living. Enter Lucas Conover, one of the financial advisors left in place to help steer the foundation Jordan is meant to be to be heading. Lucas threatens to wrest control of said foundation due to Jordan's lack of interest. It turns out that calling the good Doctor out on his failings is exactly what he needs to kick him back into gear. Lucas and Jordan meet and though it's not lust or much less love at first sight there certainly is a spark. I liked that Jordan and Lucas, even though they had a growing attraction, got to know each other over the course of some months working together on matters for the foundation and that the relationship evolved from that base. I liked that Lucas and Jordan had to revise or adjust attitudes and beliefs and that they were open to change. I liked that both had to overcome more than the usual “will they/won't they” scenario but rather some pretty authentic problems, particularly Jordan. I felt like the author presented a solution to his problems that was evidently well researched and narratively well executed. I liked the participation of friends and family introduced in Book 1, particularly Drew and of course Ash, though the Lucas and Ash “conversation” was left for far too late in the book for my liking but that's a minor niggle.My major niggles are more personal. There were perhaps one too many “issues” in this book and at times these seemed to tip the scales: mourning, grief, addiction, childhood abuse, the failures of the foster system, homelessness, drug dealers, illegal guns etc. One or two of these would have been sufficient for one book.The other thing is really personal and perhaps irrelevant. I'm giving nothing away by saying that Jordan is grieving the abrupt violent loss of his long term partner and fiance and yet about a year out he's IN LOVE with another guy? I dunno ... seems sudden or that the Doc's affections may be fickle. We know he's not. So maybe, for moi, a little more time might have eased the way? Unless we're going with Keith, the dead fiance, left this man, Lucas, to keep Jordan sane, loved, and safe? Would Patrick Swayze do that for Demi Moore at the end of Ghost? Maybe. Let's be generous and go with that.If you're in the mood for an issues book with some serious sexy times on the side this will fit the bill nicely, but I'd go with the audio because it will surely enhance your enjoyment of the story.

Reread/listen 12/11/19 - 12/12/19 & Upped to full 5. I enjoyed it just as much or more the 2nd time around. No ands, ifs, or buts.I decided to revisit this, and the subsequent books, before reading [b:The Miracle 49078806 The Miracle (Through Hell and Back, #3.5) Felice Stevens https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/books/1575319030l/49078806.SY75.jpg 74280507], as a refresher, and I'm so glad I did. I wanted to be invited to Esther's (Drew's grandmother) on a Sunday, have some latkes and a chat at her kitchen table. I regretted my harsh thoughts about Jordan. Overall I loved being swept away in Drew & Ashe's almost epic romance, I was happy to revel in the sheer romanticism of a love story between regular, albeit successful, New Yorkers. Not a billionaire in sight.****************4.5 / First read 8/1/17 - 8/3/17This was the perfect blend of an issues book, first time gay, and hurt/comfort. If you're in the mood for a redemption story this is the ticket and the audio by [a:Kale Williams 15569309 Kale Williams https://s.gr-assets.com/assets/nophoto/user/m_50x66-82093808bca726cb3249a493fbd3bd0f.png] was fantastic. Also, being a native, I'm a sucker for NYC based stories that are well told within a recognizable geography. When Dr. Drew Klein goes to sign the papers to finalize his divorce he meets the man who will turn his life inside out and set him on a path to happiness he never imagined. For Asher Davis, successful attorney, man-about-town, and all around manwhore, the good doctor is at first just a pretty face and perhaps a challenge. However Drew asks Ash to volunteer his services at a clinic he's starting for at-risk underprivileged youths, particularly LGBTQ,, and that's all she wrote. During the course of almost a year Ash becomes ever more involved, sometimes kicking and screaming, with Drew's causes, close circle of friends, and family, causing the hard shell he'd encased himself in to begin to crack and finally shed altogether. It turns out that Ash comes from a pretty harrowing background, complete with foster care, abuse, and self harm, so fair warning for those who are triggered. I liked that the relationship developed over time and that Drew and Ash got to know each other and about each other outside of hot and heavy desire. Drew even gets a girlfriend which is absolutely logical. The progression from attraction to friends to lust to love is nicely done and there are no “aha” magical moments but rather a cumulative effect of everyday experiences thus making the HEA believable and true.Theres lots to like here: good people living their lives and trying to do good, good friends who stand by you even when you don't want them there, and unshakable family love. Yes it is a big dose of sweet but not saccharine. Drew is not a saint, just a good guy trying to find his way, helping out where he can but sometimes screwing up majorly and Ash is a man trying to overcome a bad childhood with varying degrees of success. The other characters are nicely fleshed out and there's a good set-up for future books in the series.

2.5

Well this was disappointing... and that's almost worse than being outright bad. I don't even think I'd call this a romance.

Chapter One and the first half of chapter Two had me salivating imagining all sorts of delicious and enticing scenarios. The question of what makes us “human” is one that I like to ponder when I'm feeling particularly deep but I'm an aspiring amateur at any coherent thesis on the matter. Anyone who has an even cursory interest in the subject need only read “Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep” by Philip K. Dick which is the basis for Blade Runner, a movie everyone should watch for a hundred thousand reasons. One of them is that it teases out the very nature of humanity dressed in an epically beautiful piece of cinematic futurology. Also watch “A.I. Artificial Intelligence” from the late Stanley Kubrick via Steven Spielberg which will have you in blubbering tears and hating humanity and for bonus content “The Terminator” and subsequent entries in the franchise won't steer you wrong.

Why do I recommend movies in a book review? Because you'll save yourself some grief and I suspect quite firmly that the author took these and others as inspiration.

The book starts off with Ario, a male gigolo synth, who has long been used by his owner as a prostitute, in what is to be his last fateful assignation with a client. Things go badly and Ario is thrown out as trash. In chapter two, Elias, a homeless tech genius who has turned tricks to survive on the streets, finds Ario and goes about fixing him. It turns out that Ario is no run-of-the-mill synth but rather a very high end one who has also been “modified”. I won't get further into the plot but I'll say that these first two chapters are the best thing here. What could be a great story of human-synth life and if you're ambitious also a bit of taboo human-synth love is set in motion and then the wheels come off. There's zero follow through.

Elias' character vacillates between being a guy who ended up on the streets due to his unwavering fight for “synth rights” to a whining teenage boy pining for his lost love. Also I'm confused. When was he doing all this “fighting in the streets”? While homeless? Plausible, except we are told this all came before street life. So he was a teenage warrior? Is this The Hunger Games? It also turns out that Elias is some kind of savant who has an uncanny affinity with synths which makes him special and the target of many. Quite frankly I found him annoying, sanctimonious, and at times selfish. Can't say more ‘cause spoilers.

Ario of course is this idealized thing of beauty, intelligence, and perfection and I had no gripe with him. He was made that way. He was consistent and logical in his progression. I think the author should've let him go further. He was by far the most interesting character.

And so we come to the “romance” in this book. There is none but what we are told. Elias finds Ario, fixes him up and they spend about a day together during which there is a perfunctory sex scene which I could've done without because it brings nothing to the table. Immediately after we have a four year separation and then a reunion day which is an action and suspense packed episode of (pick any mid level show you like) in which everything gets resolved. The end.

What annoyed me about this book is that it's sprinkled throughout with some very intriguing issues which are worth exploring, the world building isn't awful, and the story has potential but is ultimately hijacked by a teen's Tumblr blog. Lost potential is always worse. This should've been a first draft from which to work out a more polished and consistent book.

Too bad.

Recommended if you've read virtually nothing else related to A.I. and are pretty forgiving of wildly different tones within one story.