Kirstie / Roo

Just not feeling it, have no drive to keep reading 

 “Look like a hooker or look like a hooker. I went with the latter.”
Synopsis
Gaby has just finished graduate school and broken up with her boyfriend. With no job prospects and not even a vague inkling about what she might like to do for a career, she is moping at her parent's place. Gaby's twin brother, Eli, is touring with his band and another, and they just fired their merch guy, so he invites her to join them on their tour of the US, Europe and Australia selling merch. On her first night she hears the lead singer of the other band and decides she is in love.

“Apparently, she had gobbled up the information like a hooker would a penis.”
Content & Trigger Warnings

• Transphobic language
• Homophobic language
• Internalised misogyny
• Slut-shaming

“You know who else is high class? Hookers. Hookers are high class.”

Sacha didn't even miss a beat. He blinked those clear gray eyes at me and asked very seriously, “Do you know from experience?”

Tropes and Themes

• Rockstar romance
• Love triange (kinda)
• Not-like-other-girls
• Instalove
• Forced proximity

“Why are you holding men's shampoo?” A smirk covered his mouth a second later. “You finally decided to go through with that surgery, huh?”

My Thoughts

• I've seen a lot of hype over various Mariana Zapata books, though admittedly not this one, so I had reasonably positive expectations. If this is representative of the quality and content of her other books, I'll be removing them from my TBR.
  
  
• The characters are supposed to be in their mid-to-late 20s but I've encountered teenagers who act more maturely.
  
  
• FMC Gaby has a lot of internalised misogyny and gives massive not-like-other-girls energy. Any time she sees a female fan of the band or the MMC Sacha's friend and ex, she is calling them sluts, whores etc in her internal monologue.
  
  
• Gaby's brother and their mutual friends constantly insult her. Constantly. This is presented as friendly banter, but all of the banter and ‘jokes' revolve around homophobic, transphobic, gendered and sex-based insults, with the exception of those that are about her weight (see, they never call her by her name, always Flabby or Flabs). This is presented as evidence of their love.
  
  
• Sacha (MMC) is so bland. He doesn't participate in any of the homophobic or transphobic ‘banter' and is possibly the only person in the book that isn't mean to Gaby, but that's his most defining positive feature. Other than the tattoos, I guess?
  
  
• Most of the book, Sacha is stringing both his ex, Liz, who wants to get back together, and Gaby along. And then when Gaby finally speaks to him about what they are to each other, he's like “oh, you're my girl, didn't you know?” How could she, you've never spoken about it?!
  
  
• On that note, Gaby never actually expresses her feelings or desires either, then gets in a snit and gives Sacha a week of silent treatment because she saw him sat next to a girl and talking to her. Childish doesn't even begin to cover it.
  
  
• I enjoy a slow-burn, and I appreciated there not being a big third act conflict, but the plot and pacing of this story was just... absent and I didn't feel any chemistry between Gaby and Sacha.
  
  
• So many random things that made little to no sense. Why have a scene of Gaby discovering about 3/4s through the book that Sacha is diabetic when it has no relevance to the plot and is never mentioned again? Also, the whole UK tour section of the book made me think the author did no research about the logistics of touring the UK - they seem to be there a few weeks but only have two named UK dates almost as far away from each other as you can get in the UK days apart, so what were they doing all the rest of the time there? Presumably travelling to the next town or city they were playing in that would only have been a few hours away (so why the upgraded tour bus, which they then abandon to traverse the rest of Europe, where a bus you can sleep in might be useful if you are going country to country, in a van?).
  
  
• I switch between reading the book and listening to the audio. There is a discrepancy in the text of the two that makes me think the Kindle version I read has been edited post-release but the audiobook hasn't been. Gaby is wishing misfortune on her ex, and in the audiobook she wishes for him to “hook up with a transvestite” whereas the book she wishes for him to “hook up with someone with syphilis”. Good that it's been changed I guess but it leaves a bad taste for me that it was ever there, and I feel Zapata is a-OK with transphobia due to all the other instances being left in.
  
  
• In short, there was nothing that redeemed this book for me and I don't know why I didn't DNF it.

“But more than ever, I wanted Brandon's ass torn up by a dozen hung porn stars.”

 “Being immortal doesn't let you grow. All it does is let you lose pieces of yourself.”
Synopsis Ava's mother, a talented magician, was killed by a vampire, leaving Ava with a burning desire for vengeance. One night she finds a hidden club where she witnesses magic tricks that are impossible. The magicians reveal they are part of a society of real magic users who hunt vampires. They offer to take her on as an apprentice, but to join the society she will have to compete in a series of games for one of the limited places available to this year's apprentices.
“I feel sick and powerful all at once - like I could explode and have everything I've ever wanted.”
Tropes & Themes

• Magic
• Vampires
• Found family
• Love triange
• Secret society

“My mind is a scattered mess of revenge and death and pain and lust and some kind of matching brokenness between us.”

Content & Trigger Warnings

• Death
• Blood

“Killing him wouldn't make me forget how much I wanted his lips against mine. If it would, I might actually do it.

My Thoughts

• Interesting cast of characters
• Interesting world building and magic system
• Plot was interesting but there was a lot going on in the latter part of the book, could have been a bit longer and explored some of the reveals and history of the magicians and vampires more.
• I appreciated Ava's character arc, especially as concerns her issues and trauma surrounding family and belonging.
• The romance aspect is there but is not a major theme. The society and it's secrets, and Ava's journey to mastering her magic and surviving the games, is far and away the focus of the narrative.

It makes my guilt a living thing that grows like thorned vines inside me.

“I've officially designated him my gym-nemesis.”
Synopsis
Crystal is a plus-sized fitness influencer on Instagram and a personal trainer. A new guy joins the gym she works out of and in their first interactions she is annoyed at him for violating gym etiquette. They trade barbs for a few months, leading to a very sexually charged situation. After which, they bump into each other outside of the gym for the first time - at their grandparent's engagement dinner (his grandad, her grandma).

They soon become friends and admit their mutual attraction, but Crystal is concerned about the potential fallout on their joining families if things don't work out.

“‘If I don't kiss you in five seconds, I'm gonna lose it,' he tells me in a low whisper.”
Tropes & Themes

• Forced proximity
• Delayed gratification
• He falls first
• Body image & self-esteem

“Scott's cult-leader-level charisma makes me want to drink all his Kool-Aid and bend some rules.”

Diversity & Representation

• Biracial protagonist
• Plus-sized protagonist

“I still have days where I don't love everything about myself. It's normal.”

My Thoughts

• I've seen this touted as enemies-to-lovers, but it's not really. Crystal considers Scott her nemesis for the first few chapters but the attraction is instant & mutual, they become friends very quickly and once they are friendly the MMC makes his interest in a relationship very clear, so it's more delayed gratification and forced proximity IMO.
• I liked the curvy-girl rep, Crystal's journey from body positivity to more balanced body acceptance and the acknowledgement that positivity culture (especially on social media) can be toxic and unhelpful just like body shaming can be. The book doesn't go too deep on this as it's ultimately a light romance, but it is discussed.
• Scott is possibly a little too perfect/good. Despite clearly being modelled on the beautiful Chris Evans (no secret is made of this, it's hinted at quite clearly several times), he was missing something for me. He wasn't objectionable in any way, but he was missing that extra something for me to make him into one of those memorable book boyfriends (IYKYK).
• I loved Grandma Flo, she was a riot, and definitely my favourite character.
• The third-act conflict was, I felt, mostly Crystal's fault and as with many romance novel third-act conflicts could have been prevented by just talking honestly (and listening) to each other.
• I often find grand gestures and declarations in order to win someone back cringy and cheesy, but this one I thought was quite sweet.

“ ‘By the way, this wasn't a date in any way, shape or form,” I remind him. ‘It's simply an apology sorbet outing between two former strangers, turned nemeses, turned acquaintances whose grandparents are getting married. A truce.' ”

 “She was beautiful in a way that overwhelmed me, though it wasn't just her face, her body. She was a sunbeam through a storm cloud.”
Synopsis
Elementary school teacher Shay's life implodes - she gets jilted at the alter then her step-grandma dies and leaves her the family tulip farm. Grandma's will has a catch - Shay has to live on the farm and operate it for a year and be married before she can inherit it fully. She takes the opportunity to take a break from life and visit the farm and small town she spent her teenage years on. In the years since she left, her high-school friend Noah has also moved back, inherited the farm next door and become the lone guardian to his swearing, pirate-obsessed niece. He offers to help Shay fulfil the ‘be married' part of the will in exchange for her tutoring his niece and an interest in her land. No other reasons, honest.

“The marriage was fake. The attraction to my future husband...that was all too real.”
Tropes & Themes

• Marriage of convenience
• Friends-to-lovers
• Forced proximity
• He falls first
• He falls harder
• It's always been you
• Single-parent/guardian
• Grumpy x sunshine

“I felt like I'd been waiting a very long time for someone who knew how to shatter me and also wanted to pick up all the pieces. And I felt an unpleasant sense of relief in discovering that person was my husband.”

Diversity & Representation

• Plus-sized protagonist
• Neurodivergent supporting character (child)
• Bisexual & poly supporting character

“It was awesome to get everything I'd ever wanted only for my wife to remind me on a daily basis that it wasn't real and wouldn't last. Fucking awesome.”

My Thoughts

• Everything I have ever wanted in a contemporary romance novel. My top romance tropes are tied together with a respectful but filthy cinnamon-roll man who worships the FMC (it's always the quiet ones).
• Maybe it's because of my husband, but nothing melts my heart more than the guy that's been quietly in love with the FMC for years but not in the toxic Nice Guy™ way.
• Is the the-will-says-you-have-to-marry clause a bit ridiculous and unbelievable? Sure, and even the MMC acknowledges this but is happy to go along with it.
• Noah Barden, yes please.
• If you love the Chestnut Springs series (especially Heartless), I am confident you will love this also.
• Shay is plus-sized, but aside from maybe two brief, off-hand mentions of dieting for her wedding to her ex, her size is only referred to positively or neutrally and never a plotline - this is the sort of plus-size rep we need and want!
• Lovely healthy, non-toxic friendships and romantic relationship.
• Lots of slice-of-life small-town, farm and farmer's market moments.
• I died in a puddle of melted feels at not only the realisation Noah kept every note she wrote him in school but that he named his business after the way she signed her name and her nickname for him 😍

“I was half hard and fully obsessed with her.”