Steve

Pretty sure I have never written a review on Goodreads, but there's a first time for most things. As others have pointed out, this book perpetuates outdated gender stereotypes and brands non-hetero folks as deviant. I don't consider myself to be overly sensitive on this topic, but the obliviousness with which the author trots that nonsense out is pretty breathtaking.

Kreisman also repeatedly refers to people who are struggling with emotional dysregulation as “borderlines”. Borderlines often do this. Borderlines aren't able to do that. After an hour or so of listening (I chose the audiobook), the term started to ring like a pejorative. It reduces the people who have this disorder to being nothing more than the thing they struggle with. People reading this book are either those same, multi-faceted people, or family members / friends who love them.

There is probably some useful info in here somewhere, but I have to tap out on this one. Yuck. DNF.

For the 2026 run of Dracula Daily, if you are interested in how far we are: https://grv688.github.io/

It's a standalone html file so you could just grab it to run on your own server / offline. I may turn the GitHub Page into something else after the 2026 season, so if you don't see it after that, that's why ;-)

As someone who has people in their life who are reaching this stage (who doesn't?), this book annoyed me. There are other reviews that touch on the things that got to me (e.g., the book is more about her insights and story than her patients'; it needs an editor with a heavier hand).

In the end, I think what gets me the most is that this is presented as non-fiction. These interludes read like parables to me. They're too tidy. Her patients too eloquent. There's parallel structure across iterations of what is inevitably a very tumultuous and messy process. It doesn't ring right to me, but that's just my opinion.

At a 30,000 foot level, these topics ("regrets") are worth thinking about. Live now. Do not wait. If this book was comprised of 80% of the patients' insights and 20% of the author's empathy and contextualizing, that would have been about right, but I'm afraid the ratio is flipped here.

This was a solid story, but there were fewer gothic elements and more relationship drama (as opposed to character development) than I personally wanted. What put this firmly in three-star territory for me (liked it, finished it, would not necessarily recommend) was that the villain isn't someone we see very much of in the story. Was not shocked, because "Oh, that minor character. Huh." Still, it was fun.

Thoroughly enjoyable. I knocked out the audiobook in a couple days. I think the trick with these books is to avoid straining credulity. This one had enough twists in the plot that it was a close thing.