Destiny (howling libraries)

Yeah... this isn't for me. 😬 I hate these characters lol

I'm leaving a review without a rating because I think I would've enjoyed this as a young teen, maybe even loved it. Unfortunately, it didn't work for me, but I'm not the target audience here, either. Without spoiling anything, I'll say that I struggled with the levels of angst and how romance-heavy the story was (despite not personally feeling like the characters would be a compatible pairing in the first place). I also found the villains to be very over-the-top and I predicted the twists very early in, which left me feeling irritated with the main character's total lack of awareness.

I read a final copy borrowed from the library, but for the sake of disclosure, I was also gifted an early review copy. All thoughts are honest and my own.

✨ Representation: Andrew is asexual and gay; Thomas is bisexual/pansexual; multiple side characters are queer

✨ Content warnings: violence, gore, death, body horror, grief, bigotry, homophobia, transphobia, verbal abuse from authority figures, physically abusive parents, mental illness, anxiety/panic attacks, disordered eating, self-harm

update: february 8th, 2019:

That was just as magical and beautiful and sweet the second time. I have to say that Luca and Imre are one of my favorite OTPs of all time, and I just don't think I'm ever going to stop gushing about this incredible story. ♥

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first read: june 16th, 2018:

When I first heard about this book, the author was accepting ARC requests, and I immediately had to send one in. Feel free to judge my long love of this “taboo”, but I have loved age gap romances ever since I was a preteen. My favorite theme in age gap pairings is when the older individual is this sort of mature, caring, stoic type, while the younger is still wild and angsty and trying to find their place in the world… which basically sums up Imre and Luca, but there’s so much more to it than that, too.

Some people were born with a thick skin; some developed it over time. Luca had been born with skin like paper, and a crystal heart.

Luca, the younger man, is a gay 19-going-on-20-year-old, and is an utter wreck inside. He’s got a turbulent home life, and he’s desperate for love and attention, especially from Imre, who he swears he’s been in love with practically his entire life. I know, there’s a lot of potential for the relationship to come across as “grooming”, but let me go ahead and put your mind at ease: nothing in this coupling felt inappropriate or pedophilic to me whatsoever, and Imre is honestly as innocent as they come.

He’d had massive hands, hands that could crush granite to dust, this great dark earthen god with the strength of stone, but he’d handled everything—from his tiny, bleating goat kids to the smallest clover flower to Luca himself—with a gentleness that flowed from his hands like water, imbued with a living warmth. And Luca had been in love with him, the way only little boys could be.

For every place that Luca warms my heart with his fragility and tenderness, Imre turns me into a damn puddle with how kind and gentle and honest he is. He’s a goat farmer, but he loves and cherishes all of his animals so much, and he’s just the most ridiculously precious “gentle giant” sort of character that I’m a complete sucker for. He constantly deals with this internal warring over his growing feelings for Luca, and sometimes, his perspectives are so hard to read because you can just feel the agonizing guilt in his chest.

That was the problem with Imre; he was so honest, so rawly and quietly true, that his honesty seemed to ask for the same from everyone.

Beyond the romance and Luca’s coming-of-age story, there are a few underlying currents that I loved: 1) Imre’s demisexuality, which Luca speaks frequently about how much he respects and how terrified he is of violating; and 2) Imre’s Romani heritage. There’s a scene where he mentions feeling like his culture has been watered down and erased due to the forced displacement of his ancestors, and it is absolutely heartbreaking and so incredibly necessary. Romani rep is something that I feel like we see so rarely, and I loved Cole for adding those pieces in to Imre’s fabric.

He would destroy himself for this kiss.

It’s a long book, clocking in at just under 600 pages, but it’s such a fast read, and so addicting; I literally read this in one day, and could not focus on anything else until I finished it. It is a sloooooow burn in the best way, and the payoff is passionate, sweet, and worth every moment of building up. AND there are baby goats, sooo…

Luca and Imre are my new favorite adult contemporary OTP, and I strongly encourage every single fan of contemporary romance to pick this book up ASAP! ♥

original update, June 2023:

Book of the year right here. What am I even supposed to do with myself until November?!?! THE AUDACITY

Review coming when I can stop screaming

re-read update, November 2023:

I still haven't stopped screaming

re-read update, February 2025:

Will I EVER not sob at "it was my honor"? Unlikely.

I love Darcy Coates' ghost stories so much that sometimes I forget how great she is at writing suspenseful mysteries, too! I LOVE murder mysteries like this, with a group of strangers trapped together in the middle of nowhere, and I was honestly on the edge of my seat for quite a lot of the story. The ending did feel a bit rushed to me, but not enough to dull my enjoyment!