kat 🍓

5:

Short and sweet, but it took me a month to finish it. Man, January sucked major ass. This was all, of course, because of my general state of mind and being, and not a fault of the story.

Even over a year after reading, it won't leave my soul. This little book lingers at the back of my mind at all times when I'm in need of comfort.

(There was an unspeakable act of animal cruelty that broke my heart, I feel that I must mention. Yikes!).

4.5:

The children made some friends!! I might cry. Absolutely delighted at the introduction of the Quagmire triplets, after all the gloom and depression of the previous installment, this was like a breath of fresh air.

Once again, we were burdened with the usual Olaf shenanigans, an awful prick for a guardian, and clueless, no good Mr. Poe doing nothing once again. But I see a plot peeking around the corner! Isadora and Duncan went digging for dirt on Olaf, and it looks like they found something worth destroying their notebooks for — I wonder what that was about.

(Olaf making the children run laps for hours on end just might be the cruelest thing in the series so far. Also I despised Nero, but when he said Sunny was to be his secretary, I cackled for like, three straight minutes).

3:

I don't know what I was expecting, but it wasn't that.

Well actually, I kinda do know. I'd read and enjoyed Convenience Store Woman, so I was gunning for weird, but cute and whimsical. Instead, I got smacked in the head by domestic abuse and pedophilia like, right at the beginning of the story. Yeah... the explicitness of the latter made me queasy, and I had half a mind to drop the book, but I kept going because I wanted Natsuki to kick everybody in the balls.

That last part was so bonkers though, I'm not too squeamish while reading, but I was cringing and curling my toes. I liked the tone and the underlying message, but geez that was almost comical; I laughed at the “we're all pregnant” comment.

Not my usual choice at all but I still want to read everything else by Sayaka.

Edit: oh my god and there was incest. I forgot about the incest.

4:

The sneaky critters ATE a baby's FACE in like the first chapter!!!!!!! Wowee!!!

Honestly I loved this book so much. It has the downside of Jeff Goldblum not being on it, but to make up for that, it keeps you on your toes, and provides gratuitous violence, along with a wicked sense satisfaction once the billionaire becomes supper.

4.5:

INCREDIBLY DEADLY VIPER, NOOO :(

Gee, is there not a single adult in the Baudelaire children's life who isn't either a repugnant jerk, abysmally incompetent and full of themselves, or dead? Why is Mr. Poe in charge, what an irritating little man. But he did deliver the absolute best quote in the whole book:

“Good God! Blessed Allah! Zeus and Hera! Mary and Joseph! Nathaniel Hawthorne!”

This was good! Olaf was nasty Monty was pretty decent! And there was that Herpetological Society dickwad who was rude and dismissive for no reason. Bad, bad, bad. Fuck you, Bruce.

I'm extremely upset at the ambiguous fate given to all the animals, I just can't get over it. WHAT do you mean they might just be put down? I'm heartbroken.

Once again I'm choosing to ignore Lemony Snicket's warnings about this story not going anywhere nice because I'm having so much fun with it. A literal murder takes place in this book, but somehow it's way more hilarious than the first one? Hang in there, Baudelaires!