no

I will not touch the bears, even though they have melted-chocolate eyes. I will not touch the bears, even though they have such plush fur. I will not touch the bears, even if they have soft fuzzy ears. I will not touch the bears.

I do think Whittlesey overuses the specific phrase "desperately sad", though, are there any alternatives?

"This is what Americans like to hear about the war." - my mother