Cayla

This book had some very good parts in it. Unfortunately, it also had some pretty bad parts in it, so it's a little difficult for me to properly describe how I feel about it.

As someone who grew up in the middle of nowhere and used my limited access to the internet to get hardcore into the world of fanfiction, there was a lot in the book for me to relate to. Lundin's descriptions of writing fic and of having literally no idea about your own sexuality are both pretty spot on.

That said, I really didn't like Claire. At all. I've shipped crack ships before, so I understand the vague frustration that comes from knowing it will never be canon. However, a really, really important aspect of fandom, in my opinion, is understanding that your view of the characters is just that: YOUR view.

Claire doesn't get that. She is convinced that the entire fandom feels the way she does, which then convinces her that she MUST convince the showrunner that it needs to be canon. She comes across as a zealous evangelist who refuses to understand that her view isn't the only one. Which is super unlikely, especially in fandom. Sure, some ships do often have an overwhelming majority, but there are ALWAYS others. Or people who prefer no ships at all and love the source material for other reasons.

If Claire had used the influence that she is (inexplicably) gifted to fight for the rights of fanfic in general, I would have been all for it. Instead, she alienates good people in favor of singlemindedly pursuing something that is really just for her own gratification. As Tess rightly points out, but of course Claire ignores her. Or rather, she adds a throwaway sentence about diversity into her zealous SmokeHeart speech at the end and for some reason that makes it all okay.

I dunno. This book had really good potential, but instead it seemed to represent the part of fandom that honestly can get really toxic and rude to anyone who doesn't think the same way they do, and I'm just not down for that.

And, while I try not to judge too much because I guess it's not technically hurting anyone, RPF does kind of freak me out. When you start getting invested in the personal lives of real people, things can get really messy, really fast. Especially when those real people don't actually feel or do what the fans wish they would. My point with this one is that the RPF Claire posted about Forest and Rico was WAY out of my comfort zone, and that knocked her from “overzealous and a bit inconsiderate” to “wow, she really doesn't care about anyone else's personal feelings, does she” in my eyes.

I'm usually willing to overlook some improbability in my books (which this one was full of) because it is fiction, but I can't overlook problematic characters like Claire.

I'm still giving this 3 stars because I really did enjoy some of the prose and the attempt to relate to fandom and people of all walks of life, but it really missed the mark by having such an extremist main character and giving her no real character development to realize why she might be wrong about some stuff.

Fandom and fanfic are amazing, beautiful things in so many ways. This book does not represent those ways. Rainbow Rowell's Fangirl and Ashley Poston's Geekerella are both much more my speed when it comes to fandom representation.

EDIT 11/10/18: Every time I think about this book or see it in a store, I cringe a little. It's like a mediocre food that has a worse aftertaste. Three stars just didn't feel right anymore, so down to two it is.

EDIT 10/23/21: I accidentally clicked into something and now Goodreads thinks I just barely reviewed this book. What the heck Goodreads, it's been three years and tbh I did not really want to have think this much about this book again. Blegh.

Odd pacing but great characters

I've always loved time travel, and the way this story used time loops and Fixed Points was very cool. The pacing of the story was a little odd in places — some of the conflicts felt like they resolved too quickly in order to jump into a new one — but the well-rounded and fascinating characters more than made up for that. Having both Lex and Ember's POVs showed both sides of the world's moral conflict in a very accessible way, which was super cool.

Definitely worth the read.

This book is quirky and adorable and wholesome and many other things that would always have made me like it, but it also tells a variety of stories that are so incredibly important. The celebration of chosen family and the wonderful differences that span the human experience was so, so beautiful.

I came for the author of Red, White, and Royal Blue and the cute lesbian relationship, and I stayed for the whole sparkly cast of LGBTQ+ characters who shine in all of their own ways. So many of the characters could have been two-dimensional set pieces, but they weren't. This novel has so much life and celebration of community and queerness and belonging and love in all of its forms. I felt a lot of things while reading this, and in a way I felt like I sort of found a little piece of a home with its cast. Even though it was in NYC, where I have sworn I will never live. (My sister was in Flatbush for a little while and visiting was fun but I would not have wanted to stay.)

Anyway. I have no more words. I loved this book. It will now live in a chamber of my heart, where I will feed it with kind thoughts and fond memories and the occasional re-read.

This series was absolutely amazing. It had everything I love in a book: an interesting and well-built magical world, characters with beautiful depth and variety of personalities, a plot that was often heartbreaking but always exactly what it needed to be, and prose that multiplied the emotions of the book tenfold.

And then the ending was just the right amount of happy and just the right amount of sad and entirely perfect.

I love these books.