Zo

Always five stars for murderbot.

Today I'm sad.
💚💚💚🧱🧱🧱

Any book I read in this mood was going to be a 0.25 or a 5.

I thought I'd make myself feel better by reading a cheesy romance novel.

I don't feel worse. Maybe a bit better but it's also been a couple hours since... But fuck me, I would like to apologize to all the books I've listened to recently and rated low.

Because this book. This book is garbage. I don't think the author even tried. Line after line of dialogue. My eyes bled and I skimmed and skimmed. I will not be returning to cheesy romance, or at least not contemporary, for a while.

Boring, too long, too cookie-cutter.

And yes, I know, it deserves better. The 0.25 books are straight garbage, and this is just cheesy.

But fuck it, I'm in a mood.

WELL OKAY.

Tbh I read this for the threesome, so once that part arrived (a bit late), I was satisfied. The dialogue sounds like a telenovela. I realized all the voices in my head sounded like dramatic English dubs about forty percent through and then I stopped listening to the voices. Of the dialogue.

Anyway, hoo boy, Zetian is NOT like other girls. Let me spell it out for you: this girl is SPECIAL y'all. It's like if Katniss was more angry, heck her Chrysalis even pulls out a goddamn bow like alright I see you. This book is very much Hunger Games but Mecha. I mean, we have the Capitol, the celebrity politics, Evil Government leader, “good” Government member, sweet murderous boy and hulking murderous boy, but the boys want to fuck each other too. Also being monogamous is being confined by the rules. Literally everyone would be poly if not for those pesky rules.

The positive is that I headed to Google early on to learn more about foot binding and it is fucking outrageous. My God. The hate to love thing between Zetian and Li though, ugh, cliche af. Also him being so built lmfao. But let's talk about the ending.

First of all I think torture is an absolutely unreliable means of extracting information but karma does as karma does.The final battle though, whew. I mean, it's clear to me that the gods are not actually gods. For some reason though, I didn't consider that they might be on another planet despite reading Bloodchild. I just figured it was some Maze Runner type shit. Like who the fuck just drops technology manuals lmfao.Anyway, it's Empress Wu to y'all heavenly cunts now and Empress Wu is absolutely going to crush y'all mercilessly.

This book was entertaining. Yeah I mean I could point out how much of an Nlog Zetian is and how cliche the triangle is despite its resolution being much appreciated, and how monogamy is depicted as just obeying the rules because “love is infinite”, how stilted the dialogue was, the entire prologue of info dumping, how much the plot is Hunger Games meets Maze Runner and how much filler there is in the plot and, wait, I just pointed them out. My bad.

Anyway, read this book.

Listened to this. The narrator was absolutely trolling with the voices for all the unnatural creatures. Could barely make out wtf he was saying. Well done good sir, I will be wary of any books you read in the future.

More than halfway through the first book I went off to the interwebs to search for spoilers. Got nothing. Furiously returned to finish it.

With about an hour left for the second book, I discovered Optic had lost game 1 to fucking Legion. I checked in on the stream, saw them losing the second game, and furiously returned to this book.

All that to say, it dragged. My God, it dragged. The first one was better; I like Tobias more. Henry though, ugh. And I can't imagine why Tobias would want to date Henry again. Literally nothing changed? And how convenient was the ending? Like fucking lovely. This book is lucky Optic won game 2 with 10 mins left, or I would've given it a 0.25 rating with 0 explanation.

Henry is unlikeable. He is never sorry for deceiving Tobias, and he really doesn't care about his mother. She literally came to the wood to save his life but he barely reacted when he heard she'd hurt her hip.

Maud is unlikeable at first, as a person. As a character she's a cliche. The hotheaded young'un who will need saving.

And what a cliche all round. I read a review recently of this author's latest book and it had a checklist for sff in 2022, which included an mm relationship between a good giant and a little bitch. Paraphrased. Well this fits, doesn't it.

Henry's whole schtick is being sunshine. How lovely they make up for no reason.

Also I'm so fucking confused because why does Fabian make Tobias the Green Man? He does right?

Also my God, I know it's about right for the time period, but if I have to listen to hearing Henry's mind blowing at all Maud's “unladylike” behavior one more time, I will lose my fucking mind.

I read many of the 1 star reviews on goodreads, but still listened to it anyway because Gary Furlong.

Listen, Gary Furlong, 5 stars.
TimeKeeper, -4.5 stars
And here we are.

There's this flair in the (i think) shitposting sub called “WARNING: BRAIN DAMAGE”, and it was all I could think about as I listened to this. The setting feels half-baked: it's steampunk but they have talking automatons. Explain it to me please. The characters have room temperature IQs, and really just don't grow over the course of the book. And of course, the central villain is a sex offender. I'll make a list:

1. Colton is so dry. So fucking dry. Danny has more chemistry with his fucking car. His whole shtick is being blond and cute, and self-harming. Yeah, when he wants attention he hurts himself. Then says, every time, “I didn't know.” He was utterly useless in the final fight. I'd have liked to see him have more agency. Which leads to his counterpart.2. Evelyn. Is this how it's spelt? I listened to it. Anyway, EVELYN. She also has zero agency in the book. I mean she leaves the town, then just kinda hides out in Matthias's house for three years. Then at the end it's just like Stockholm syndrome or something. Like can you bash his head in with the chisel please.3. Danny. How does he think he'll get away with stealing Daphne's assignment? At the end, when Evelyn claims she'll kill herself, why not play along. Why immediately question her so Matthias can see she's bluffing? Literally the only redeeming part for me was when he swung that bat at Matthias. Like, FUCK HIM UP, PLEASE.4. Daphne. Why did we even get her POV? I literally don't care. And she steals the cog? WHERE IS BRAIN? What an absolute dumb fuck. Like FUCK HER UP AND TAKE THE COG BACK WTF. 5. Danny's mom. She's not a great mom. Those things she was saying to him at the end, telling him his father would be disappointed in him. What a cunt.6. Danny's dad. So this is who reported Matthias. And who was trapped in the town in the first place because he didn't want to vacation with his family. And then he returns and we're supposed to be happy? Danny needs therapy. His dad is a piece of shit and his mom is flaky as fuck.7. Lucas. Why do we even get a POV? Just for him to die? I thought we were going to get a redemption arc, or he was going to do something, save the town, become the clock spirit. Idk fucking jazz it up. But he literally just dies and his girlfriend (now ex unfortunately) is all like you punched him so this means you killed him. Dumb fucks.8. The setting. Like I mentioned, we get an automaton that speaks. And cars. I don't know what else we have. The worldbuilding is half-baked. Should've just made it historical fantasy if the worldbuilding work wasn't going to be put in.9. Wtf was that Greek mythology nonsense? Bruh. It added zero value, and felt really fucking off when the book is set in fucking steampunk London.10. So Danny ends up in Enfield and everything is temporarily ok. And then some random group just sends him a letter saying, “We're watching.” Like, okay? Ooh I'm so scared.

Garbage. But Gary Furlong is always worth a listen. I honestly will probably listen to the second book. It's bad enough for me to be able to listen to at work without worrying about missing stuff.

Well.

A couple things.
1. I saw right through the villain from when I first saw them.
2. Evemer's turn-around had me going huh.
3. I called the ending from a mile away obviously.
4. Villainy was concluded at the 92% mark very easily. The rest was the conclusion of the romance. At that point, I was kinda tired of all the will they will they not, especially when I know they will. Was curious to see the epiphany that would cause it. Eh.
5. I liked this book.

Was almost put off by a particularly bad review on Goodreads, and well, after reading it, I don't agree at all, about the representation, and about the writing.

I don't give a lot of 5 stars. It really depends on my mood and sometimes I change ratings (but never the 5's). This book is 5 stars because it is spectacular writing.

Well that was almost disappointing.

The beginning was nice, the ending was nice, but the middle was lowkey boring.

Idk I'm tired of I like you, you like me, but for REASONS we can't be together. Yes I know the reasons can be totally valid, but it just doesn't do it for me now. And by now I mean at this moment, today, this past week I spent listening to this book. This might be a reread too. I know I read book 1 before listening to it but I'm not sure about this one. I didn't remember anything about it either way.

Also, the constant use of the word “depressed” to describe Jason had me a lil iffy. Idk. He wasn't depressed. Yes depression has many faces, but he wasn't depressed. He was little sad, not Big Sad.

Narrator was fantastic.

Classic Tal Bauer: super sweet romance. And when shit hits the fan, shit reallllly hits the fan. The one scene (or group of scenes) I think of where I wanted more was Mike's rejection after their weekend. I wanted that a bit more because if you haven't realized by now, I like to suffer. Tal's becoming a sure thing for me.

I enjoyed this!

It's longer than I expected (my fault for not checking how long the audio was) but still a nice listen.

John Solo was good as usual. Not the greatest at accents, but I didn't really care. Jack and Ethan's relationship was sweet, as per all Tal Bauer's couplings so far. I did figure out the mystery, but that's fine too. It wasn't the kind of thing where you're like hello stop this person right here.

So why -0.25?

I didn't like some of the exposition vomits. The news clippings between chapters weren't great at first, because it just seemed like an easy info dump. Oh by the way this has just happened, we move now to our characters' reactions. I would have much preferred for the info to be shared in some other way.

The only time I liked the news clipping was
the press's reaction to Jack after the funeral. I would have liked to see Ethan's real time reaction too. As well as Ethan after being kidnapped. Like I wanted to follow Ethan after they took him. It seems like not much happened so we didn't miss much anyway.

Some of the other random conversations were interesting but a bit confusing at first. Was wondering who was who. Luckily it was all revealed at the end.

After the action winds down we have some sweet time with Ethan and Jack. Quite a bit of time too. Again, Tal does this a lot. Didn't super mind.

It's a really nice read.

I'm on the last chapter. Not a lot can change the rating for me though.

There's a lot more to rant about when I don't like a book. I liked this one. I guessed part of the mystery, the second twist was interesting.

Katie's attitude was a bit overdramatic. Most teenagers are actually normal people. I should know. I was one. Dammit wasn't everyone? So pls enough of the teenage attitude in books.

Noah could be frustrating, but I understand. I loved Cole so much.

Still, a gripping tale, tense enough to keep me coming back, and helped me out on a terribly anxious day.

Listened to the audio. Some people complain about John Solo. Idk, I struggled with his whisper at first, but his voice is lowkey sexy and I'm not going to complain.

I was going to give this book a 4.5, but it let me down a little, all the way to a 3.75.

FYI not spoiler free.

I'll start with a few nits. The first is more of a half nit. The word is byproduct, not biproduct. I was like is this some sort of bisexual pun why tf is there a spelling error in a published book? It's small but looked so wrong.

Now the real first, the phrase “insolent mouth” is used to describe Lonan's mouth too many times, and it isn't even true. Lonan isn't mouthy, or a wordsmith or a snaky spy or anything. And this is a first person story, so Ash has absolutely nothing to go on when he meets Lonan and is like, you know what, that silent mouth is insolent. I cannot.

Second, I believed from the blurb that Lonan would be a dangerous man. The kind that you know, justifies the number of warnings about him. But he's so young, too young to have the reputation he has. He doesn't have the “bad for you” vibe that I expected, and thus I was disappointed. We don't even see him physically harm anyone. And Ash's constant “he'll probably drive a blade through my gut” felt unfounded, almost bizarre. Like no, he doesn't really seem violent man, calm down.

Third, on God there is barely any chemistry between Ash and Lonan. It didn't feel like a romance novel. It felt like a regular fantasy novel where two characters get together even though there's barely any chemistry and you're just like, whatever, I'm more interested in the plot anyway. I don't buy the desperation or lust. And Lonan is constantly appearing out of nowhere. The first time, I'm like, I guess he does that... Subsequent times I'm just like, of course, of course he shows up. Of course he hears the conversation. It's too convenient.

Fourth, I'm not a huge fan of characters who like to start fights with their love interests. Or of sentences like “Boiling anger flared through me,” as a reaction to a sad but not unexpected revelation. Or of adult characters “stomping” when they are upset. Or of characters asking others to shut up when they are clearly about to clarify something important.

I'm extremely disappointed the development of Caom (Caem?)'s character. Dude remains flat. No growth, nothing. Hoped he'd become a true friend.

I'm intrigued. I want to see how Ash and Lonan's story will be resolved. Here's hoping book 2 has more plot, aside from party fuck party cook fuck party last act.

Also if I had a quarter for everytime an SFF MC lost an arm, I'd have many quarters by now.

Finally read this book after having it on my TBR for years!

It's tense until the characters get together and then ALL tension vanishes. I don't just mean sexual tension, I mean all the conflicts in the story: the money problem is also solved at the same time, societal homophobia is shelved away and not worried about anymore, same with Griff's father, same with their co-workers at the FDNY. The world becomes right as rain once they fuck. Which, I guess if there isn't going to be miscommunication or new introduced conflict, is fine.

The sexual tension before though is sizzling. It's the classic case of double pining.

I will say though the use of “creamy” to consistently describe Griff's skin, had me looking around my room to see if anyone else was seeing this shit. No, creamy hip is just not the way to go like I don't understand. Creamy? CREAMY?

Sigh.

Taking a break from A CERTAIN TRILOGY and thought I would read this just for fun.

I saw the Goodreads review warning about misogyny. Allow me to put one here as well: this book is misogynistic af. 

“The women wore funny looks on their faces, but the guys didn't seem to care.” Hahahahaha women no sense of humour hahaha guys so cool hehe. Jesus Christ. This is just one of the “more subtle” digs by the way.

Now then, on to the parts I did read, because Lord knows I skipped so many parts in desperate boredom.

Abracadabra telekinesis whoosh vampire speed waah alpha whoop whoop.

It's bad.

Let's start from the info dump conversation at the beginning: yeah vampires, magic, bigfoot, everything is real. Well they didn't mention bigfoot, I just figured, if everything else is real, why not bigfoot? Also you're going to magical school! Wow! And even though you're twenty one, it'll be just like a stereotypical high school where everyone has no persoanlity! Not a super mature college-adjacent experience, no sir. 

“Our sweet mate.”
Hold on lemme puke for a second.
OuR sWeEt MaTe.

“What do you need, dweeb?”
How is dweeb supposed to be a term of endearment? 

“Our little puppy.”

Sigh.

This review contains spoilers not tagged. There are too many to tag. It's like a speech but 90% of it is bleep bleep bleep.

Wtf???

For God's sake how many times will one of them need saving?????

This is not a coherent review. I have not slept.

The betrayal is too much! It's too fucking much. Can one of them please escape the constant betrayal, even from Vasili wtf. Hello. Hello! Look the first time it's interesting but when it happens at every point and from EVERY SINGLE PERSON OMG. HOW IS IT THAT EVERYONE IS A TRAITOROUS SNAKE? I don't get it. Every single person, I mean every single fucking person, has betrayed Niko at least once. Literally. Can this man catch a BREAK? 

Also Niko I love you but Vasili is toxic. Find yourself a nice man and a nice cabin in the woods. For fuck's sake.

Amir's dead. I'm supposed to cheer after my last review but I just feel sorry for him. Why are the elves even here...just to suffer?

I can't believe this. Vasili OMG you fucking fuck fuck you so much. Niko pls leave him. No wait rescue him one more time then leave him. Jesus Christ. Toxicity everywhere. Going to read a nice untoxic book after I finish inhaling this series. Nah who am I kidding probably going to read her other books too because I ENJOY SUFFERING.

This would be 4.5 stars but -1 for
- his lips ticked. Omg it was said six times and that's six times too much. What is that even? Twitching?
- the constant needing to be rescued. Oh lord. Rescue missions are nice. Once. AT MOST twice. And that's maybe not in the same book.
- still no “fuck yeah” moment from either Vasili or Niko for me. Gotta give me one of these man. Niko came close, but he wasn't himself so it wasn't quite it. I was more worried for him than cheering him on.
- Vasili. Fuck this snake. Poisonous snake. Jesus.

Also the end was so chaotic I forgot how furious I was with the way they kept hurting each other at the beginning and middle.
“I don't care about you.”
“Haha me neither. I hate you too.”
“You hate me? You must be fucking other people.”
“Why do you care? Fuck you. Also I-“
“Lemme cut you off right there before you tell me how you really feel. I would like to continue assuming you hate me thank you very much.”

On to the next book!
(So effing glad it's only a trilogy)

Edit: I was reading someone else's review and they mentioned the keys thing being confusing and yeah. I just steadily ignore any explanations of the jinni and three families thing. Hopefully by book 3 someone'll explain it better.

This review has many spoilers (somewhat).

First, let's clear something up. Do I have choice words for this book? Yes. Am I immediately proceeding to book 2? Absolutely.

Ugh, this book is cheap! It just doesn't commit. Wavers on the edge but cops out so many times.

The obvious comparison to make here is Captive Prince. I'm not going to make it. Captive Prince is better, because it fucking commits.

I spoiled it for myself a while before reading the book, so I knew Julian was a bad guy and could see the suspicious moments before they happened. But still cheap! I want betrayal to sting. It can't sting when Niko and Julian's relationship is just kinda...there. And I'm like, ok yeah, cool. I practically skimmed their sex scenes too.

Niko is a moron. How tf could he leave that girl like that? It's so cheap. It's so cheap. I could see from a mile away that she'd be offed before he returned. Everyone could see it.

How did Vasili save Niko? Seemed like Julian would keep him close. Man just rides up on a horse and whisks him away like where are all the other elves hello?

So Niko is the Butcher of Blaviken, oh wait sorry, wrong guy? Ok. For a guy with such a name, man didn't do a lot of butchering. He fucking walks out at the end. Just straight up leaves through the front door. Jesus Christ. All the times to leave and he chooses the right then. Wow.

Amir running in at the end is some bullshit. Some cheap bullshit come on, come the fuck on. So fucking cheap. He's like some low grade villain that just won't die even though there's ample opportunity. Why is he still alive at the end of this book? Kill this man omg. And he's apparently a big bad in the next book. He's cartoony at best. Nothing scary about him. Not a good villain. This Carlo I hear of, may have been the better brother to leave alive.

There is no urgency in this book! Seems like Niko can take a vacation anytime he wants for any length of time and come back and everything is where he left it. A couple weeks out on injury, nothing happens. Man takes his time healing. Weeks building a whole ass house. Nah, no progress on the mystery. A whole fucking year after walking through the front door, and the plot has not moved! Casual bickering at the castle. Hello somebody kill somebody so that somebody cares! (Carlo doesn't count. Literally no one cared). Oh my Lord.

Man just rides his horse at the end and I'm like, tf, where you going? Why the fuck are you going NOW WHEN IT'S PROBABLY TOO LATE YOU MORON.

Also, the word professional was used TOO MANY TIMES in this book. Is this contemporary or what? What do you mean by professional exactly? Because I imagine a suit and tie, and I know Niko doesn't wear a suit and FUCKING TIE. I'm breaking into caps. I need to drink water and begin book two. Same with the word domestic. Too contemporary idk. I want more thees and thous (not literally obviously) in the dialogue. This seems like high fantasy, and there's nothing it it to make me accept the use of the words professional and domestic. Niko the Professional. Omg.

Also Niko please do something badass in book 2. I never flew out of my seat for you. Or Vasili. I want to.

Sigh. Also that escape from the castle scene? Cheap. Omg so cheap! And the scene before that? I physically cringed when he spoke to Talos. Pushed my phone away and wrung my hands in pain.

Am I still giving this a four star? Yes. There's promise here. Especially in the love story. If it works out well, it'll have been a nice little slow burn.

But omg someone kill Amir pls.

Read on KU.

Sniff, sniff.

I liked this. I had a bit of trouble at first with the third person present tense, and was worried it'd be too distracting. But I stuck with it and a few pages in, stopped noticing it.

The writing is lyrical, and I'm a sucker for lyrical writing (maybe because it's how I like to write too).

“I could love you.”Aside from Ned being mean with late papers (seriously professors, a little kindness... Some of us are trying our best), I liked him. It was slow burn, nice and sweet.

I'm not familiar with academia so if there are any discrepancies etc I didn't notice and didn't care.

A typical phone conversation:
Character 1: Hi, let's have a really weird and stilted conversation.
Character 2: I totally agree. I'm going to speak in Italics too, by the way. Because I'm not a protagonist, you know. As one does. And yeah, all of us talk like this. Pretty much like nobody does in real life. Lots of sentences, paragraphs even, your eyes will so glaze over.Parts of this book were seriously problematic. E.g Nico assuming the demon granddaddy would be okay with Bel being gay and poly because he's a demon. What in the fuck kind of association is that? Being gay and/or poly is demonic now? Oh come on, come on

Characters are one dimensional. I did not like any of them. The plot is subpar. The smut is subpar. I don't know why I didn't DNF this book. I pushed through, skipping large swathes of it with zero consequences (which should tell you a lot).

I haven't had a good read in a bit. This was fucking glorious.

There is not much in the way of plot, and I don't care. The relationship was intriguing enough to carry the whole book. It's not perfect. There are parts where I thought, “Hmm,” but as a package? Glorious.

Wyn can get it anytime.You want my body? You want to get off?

Look, the writing is fine. There's even plot and smut (but I was unable to get into it because 75% of the book, the LI is being sexually assaulted, and by the end I dislike the MC and his LI).

It's the MC I strongly dislike. And it's in first person, so I could not escape him. I read through for his redemption, but there was none. With the way Matthew treats Ian, he and Arik might deserve each other. Might, because Arik is a literal predator and I think even Matthew deserves better.

Jesus I have never seen such a godawful manipulative scumbag MC. Throw the whole man away.

MCs can be assholes, but they gotta have something redeeming. And it's preferable that they grow, or at least grow to admit that they're pieces of shit. Yes, Arik sometimes admits that he's an asshole, but he always justifies it. That, I think, is what makes him irredeemable.

Boo. Boo this book. Everybody boo this book. All together now: booooo.

SPOILERS. SPOILERS EVERYWHERE.

1. The ending. The mystery's ending anyway. I called it close to the end. But the lack of justice is deeply unsatisfying. This man murdered a woman because she scorned him. That's it. That was the whole reason. The protagonist then decides that because he has contributed money to charity, he has atoned? That's it? It's ok if rich people kill others, as long as they donate to charity? Fuck this book. Timmy should've fucking run screaming to the police so the pig would have to face the world and answer for his crimes. Gee, if I reject a rich person and they murder me, I sure hope they've never contributed to charity. 

2. The dissatisfaction of finding out the murderer wanted the case solved. Boo. Boo. I wanted the surprise in his eyes when he realized that the crime had caught up to him after all.

3. The relationship. Oh my God we've had sex a bunch of times. We aren't in a relationship because there are fundamental issues at play here. We just talked about those issues, and made verbal declarations. Do you want to get married? How tf was I supposed to react to that? “Aww,” instead of “WHAT?”

Unsatisfying. Well written, as usual, but a dumpster fire.

It is apparently a twist to some people that

Damaya, Syenite, and Essun are the same people

This is bizarre to me. There is no way it could be otherwise. And I saw it when they were introduced.

Anyway,
Look, this book is 5 stars. The prose is tight and neat. The only things I would point out are
1. How confused she was. Her understanding seemed to always come later, and at some point I started to wonder why we couldn't join her at the end of her understanding, why we had to had to spend so long in that in-between. Then she understood. Then she saw. It got repetitive.

That's literally one thing. Huh.

Ok now more spoiler-y things:
That island interlude Jesus Christ. Innon, my God, and their little family. It broke my heart and I'm so glad Alabaster fucking ripped the world apart for it, just like he said he would. Syenite, poor Syenite. How did she even rebuild herself after that? And for it to happen again with Uche.Also that beginning, You are here, is insane. Fucking insane.The narrator for this book is a fucking goat. The whole thing is read so gloriously, all the right pauses in all the right places. I just had to mention. Some narrators get in the way, some are just a vehicle for the story, and some accentuate the story. This one took it to a whole new level.The foreshadowing in this book is great. When Damaya leaves and Jemisin writes she'll wish she had looked back is just one great example.The Guardians are fucking terrifying. I don't think I've read a book recently with terrifying villains. Most times they inspire rage or maybe just annoyance. But these ones, absolutely terrifying. Part of it has to do with how absolute they are, how even the strongest orogenes can be neutered by them. The oppression in this book is systemic and they are the architects of it.When Syenite sees burgundy at Allia, my heart was in my fucking stomach.

This book has temporarily ruined me. I'm trying to read Witness for the Dead and finding its prose too stuffy.

Nothing coherent to say.

Read the novella pls.

Wyn!

I'm sorry, I know, but I can't help it. Wyn is so fucking sick. Like every appearance he makes has me going ahhh. I love Edin so much more too.

Anyway, I skipped every book after Edin. I just really wanted to get to Charlie's story. Worth it, I hope. I know almost everything that happened in those ones now, but it's not like these books are full of intrigue. Anyway, on to this book.

This one has some Moth POVs interspersed. At first I wasn't really into it, but at the end it was needed when they got separated. So I guess it's good we hear his voice before then. This one had more people than the others. Book 1 was basically Danny and Wyn and at some point Edin. Book 2 had Danny/Wyn, Hunter/Edin, and the people at the prison. This one had well, everyone, plus strangers in the cities. So we got to see a little bit more of the world.

Wyn and Moth have the same appendage. Hmm. Are their species related?

Anyway, interesting book. Very many sex. Sucks that they made that whole journey for nothing with Cat. But at least we got set up for another book. Right? Cat has a book right?

Anyway obvious setup for Lilac is obvious. Man is already down bad carving Seraph lol.

SPOILERS!!!

“Am I the good bits?”
“Yeah. The best bits.”

Jesus fuck. I was not expecting this book to hit me like a truck. What in the sweet fuck. Ten stars for Seraph. Now on to the usual sinning:

1. I was not expecting Wyn to act like a petulant child sometimes. Specifically that one scene where he wants Lilac to beg for the translation. It's out of character. Second, repeatedly saying “human” gets boring. Yes yes I know he's so uninterested he can't remember their names. Human sounds so weird though.
2. Wyn is fucking hot though. Like, I know in every review I say it, but like, Wyn is fucking hot.
3. This was obviously detrimental to my Seraph simping when Wyn entered the story and I put my hat on and chased after him. But they have different energies. Seraph is so fucking jklslsjdhfjdsj.
4. I'm not comfortable with Lilac killing Tank. I'm just. Murder is bad. Can we agree that murder is bad? He specifically hunts this man down after he walks away, and yeah he said some horrible, hurtful shit, but come on. He walks away, and Lilac hunts him down and kills him? Gah. I'm so conflicted. I really disliked that part. On the other hand, you could say he was about to die to the monster anyway. So like, I don't know.

But I will commit all these sins willingly and confess later, because Seraph needs to be protected at all costs.

ETA: bumping this down to 2 stars. 3 stars just doesn't sit right with me.

I'll give this book a solid 3 stars. This isn't a spoiler but it isn't in the blurb: the book is from the point of view of Helena, not Konrad. Also, it's one of those first-person past-tense books where the narrator is actively telling from the present. So we get sentences like “If we had known,” or “More was to come” (not exact sentences from the book btw). But that basically strips all the tension away from the book. All of it. I'm not surprised by anything because Helena helpfully tells us, “Btw this went wrong.” It annoyed me so much that I highlighted several instances of this happening and noted, “Shut the fuck up.” And when you have to tell the narrator to shut their goddamn mouth, they've gone too far.

Now for spoilery things:

Insta-love. In a way, Mattas (Did I spell it right?) was basically the male version of what many female love interests are for a male fantasy protagonist.Insta-love, and then a sorrowful death to motivate the protagonist.Thank you, Mattas, for your sacrifice. Also, they banged, to completion I'm sure. I was like, girl, you're gonna get preggers what are you doing? If she turns up preggers in a later book, I'm gonna shake my head.Anyway, Helena. Oh Helena.Helena angry all the time for no justifiable reason. Like justifiable anger is epic. Unjustifiable anger is go sit in the corner and breathe deeply.Helena screaming for no reason and then blacking out when hearing a dead man's voice. Maybe we were supposed to be scared by the necromancy. But I wasn't. All I thought was Jesus Christ shut the fuck up. Even the second time I was lmao.Helena being mean to her love interest. Sigh.Helena nineteen years but acts like she's fifteen.Helena I grew up in DA HOOD screaming crying Helena.Helena I just met this guy and I wanna abandon my career and have all the babies.Helena nineteen and acting like a hormonal teenager Helena. I don't expect her to be the most mature human being, but come on. She's nineteen.And Konrad doesn't get off either.Konrad I'm gonna just do nothing instead of stopping the watchmen from opening the gate.Claver somehow gets away.Helena foreshadowing moral decline like HELENA SHUT THE FUCK UP. LET ME FIND OUT IN THE BOOK. SHUT THE FUCK UP.Jesus Christ.

Forget the characterizations. Forget that this basically turns into cookie-cutter European fantasy complete with “Gondor calls for aid scenes.” Forget that the mystery isn't very compelling TBH. Forget that I recently read Tainted Cup, which similar in the Watson/Holmes vibe in a fantasy world, except those characters had more personality than Konrad I-am-the-law, Dubine drink-and-whore, and Helena angry-so-angry. Forget the plot holes.

Forget how many times the phrase “wrong-footed” appeared.

Forget that I saw two back to back paragraphs begin with the word “Ultimately.”

Forget how much time this...Helena spends describing places at the start. Places I didn't give a fuck about because...Helena focus on the current village please.

Forget all that, and you have sparks of something interesting here.

I hear Helena shuts the fuck up in book 2. I will read it.