Zo
Today I'm sad.
💚💚💚🧱🧱🧱
Any book I read in this mood was going to be a 0.25 or a 5.
I thought I'd make myself feel better by reading a cheesy romance novel.
I don't feel worse. Maybe a bit better but it's also been a couple hours since... But fuck me, I would like to apologize to all the books I've listened to recently and rated low.
Because this book. This book is garbage. I don't think the author even tried. Line after line of dialogue. My eyes bled and I skimmed and skimmed. I will not be returning to cheesy romance, or at least not contemporary, for a while.
Boring, too long, too cookie-cutter.
And yes, I know, it deserves better. The 0.25 books are straight garbage, and this is just cheesy.
But fuck it, I'm in a mood.
WELL OKAY.
Tbh I read this for the threesome, so once that part arrived (a bit late), I was satisfied. The dialogue sounds like a telenovela. I realized all the voices in my head sounded like dramatic English dubs about forty percent through and then I stopped listening to the voices. Of the dialogue.
Anyway, hoo boy, Zetian is NOT like other girls. Let me spell it out for you: this girl is SPECIAL y'all. It's like if Katniss was more angry, heck her Chrysalis even pulls out a goddamn bow like alright I see you. This book is very much Hunger Games but Mecha. I mean, we have the Capitol, the celebrity politics, Evil Government leader, “good” Government member, sweet murderous boy and hulking murderous boy, but the boys want to fuck each other too. Also being monogamous is being confined by the rules. Literally everyone would be poly if not for those pesky rules.
The positive is that I headed to Google early on to learn more about foot binding and it is fucking outrageous. My God. The hate to love thing between Zetian and Li though, ugh, cliche af. Also him being so built lmfao. But let's talk about the ending.
First of all I think torture is an absolutely unreliable means of extracting information but karma does as karma does.The final battle though, whew. I mean, it's clear to me that the gods are not actually gods. For some reason though, I didn't consider that they might be on another planet despite reading Bloodchild. I just figured it was some Maze Runner type shit. Like who the fuck just drops technology manuals lmfao.Anyway, it's Empress Wu to y'all heavenly cunts now and Empress Wu is absolutely going to crush y'all mercilessly.
This book was entertaining. Yeah I mean I could point out how much of an Nlog Zetian is and how cliche the triangle is despite its resolution being much appreciated, and how monogamy is depicted as just obeying the rules because “love is infinite”, how stilted the dialogue was, the entire prologue of info dumping, how much the plot is Hunger Games meets Maze Runner and how much filler there is in the plot and, wait, I just pointed them out. My bad.
Anyway, read this book.
Listened to this. The narrator was absolutely trolling with the voices for all the unnatural creatures. Could barely make out wtf he was saying. Well done good sir, I will be wary of any books you read in the future.
More than halfway through the first book I went off to the interwebs to search for spoilers. Got nothing. Furiously returned to finish it.
With about an hour left for the second book, I discovered Optic had lost game 1 to fucking Legion. I checked in on the stream, saw them losing the second game, and furiously returned to this book.
All that to say, it dragged. My God, it dragged. The first one was better; I like Tobias more. Henry though, ugh. And I can't imagine why Tobias would want to date Henry again. Literally nothing changed? And how convenient was the ending? Like fucking lovely. This book is lucky Optic won game 2 with 10 mins left, or I would've given it a 0.25 rating with 0 explanation.
Henry is unlikeable. He is never sorry for deceiving Tobias, and he really doesn't care about his mother. She literally came to the wood to save his life but he barely reacted when he heard she'd hurt her hip.
Maud is unlikeable at first, as a person. As a character she's a cliche. The hotheaded young'un who will need saving.
And what a cliche all round. I read a review recently of this author's latest book and it had a checklist for sff in 2022, which included an mm relationship between a good giant and a little bitch. Paraphrased. Well this fits, doesn't it.
Henry's whole schtick is being sunshine. How lovely they make up for no reason.
Also I'm so fucking confused because why does Fabian make Tobias the Green Man? He does right?
Also my God, I know it's about right for the time period, but if I have to listen to hearing Henry's mind blowing at all Maud's “unladylike” behavior one more time, I will lose my fucking mind.
I read many of the 1 star reviews on goodreads, but still listened to it anyway because Gary Furlong.
Listen, Gary Furlong, 5 stars.
TimeKeeper, -4.5 stars
And here we are.
There's this flair in the (i think) shitposting sub called “WARNING: BRAIN DAMAGE”, and it was all I could think about as I listened to this. The setting feels half-baked: it's steampunk but they have talking automatons. Explain it to me please. The characters have room temperature IQs, and really just don't grow over the course of the book. And of course, the central villain is a sex offender. I'll make a list:
1. Colton is so dry. So fucking dry. Danny has more chemistry with his fucking car. His whole shtick is being blond and cute, and self-harming. Yeah, when he wants attention he hurts himself. Then says, every time, “I didn't know.” He was utterly useless in the final fight. I'd have liked to see him have more agency. Which leads to his counterpart.2. Evelyn. Is this how it's spelt? I listened to it. Anyway, EVELYN. She also has zero agency in the book. I mean she leaves the town, then just kinda hides out in Matthias's house for three years. Then at the end it's just like Stockholm syndrome or something. Like can you bash his head in with the chisel please.3. Danny. How does he think he'll get away with stealing Daphne's assignment? At the end, when Evelyn claims she'll kill herself, why not play along. Why immediately question her so Matthias can see she's bluffing? Literally the only redeeming part for me was when he swung that bat at Matthias. Like, FUCK HIM UP, PLEASE.4. Daphne. Why did we even get her POV? I literally don't care. And she steals the cog? WHERE IS BRAIN? What an absolute dumb fuck. Like FUCK HER UP AND TAKE THE COG BACK WTF. 5. Danny's mom. She's not a great mom. Those things she was saying to him at the end, telling him his father would be disappointed in him. What a cunt.6. Danny's dad. So this is who reported Matthias. And who was trapped in the town in the first place because he didn't want to vacation with his family. And then he returns and we're supposed to be happy? Danny needs therapy. His dad is a piece of shit and his mom is flaky as fuck.7. Lucas. Why do we even get a POV? Just for him to die? I thought we were going to get a redemption arc, or he was going to do something, save the town, become the clock spirit. Idk fucking jazz it up. But he literally just dies and his girlfriend (now ex unfortunately) is all like you punched him so this means you killed him. Dumb fucks.8. The setting. Like I mentioned, we get an automaton that speaks. And cars. I don't know what else we have. The worldbuilding is half-baked. Should've just made it historical fantasy if the worldbuilding work wasn't going to be put in.9. Wtf was that Greek mythology nonsense? Bruh. It added zero value, and felt really fucking off when the book is set in fucking steampunk London.10. So Danny ends up in Enfield and everything is temporarily ok. And then some random group just sends him a letter saying, “We're watching.” Like, okay? Ooh I'm so scared.
Garbage. But Gary Furlong is always worth a listen. I honestly will probably listen to the second book. It's bad enough for me to be able to listen to at work without worrying about missing stuff.
Well.
A couple things.
1. I saw right through the villain from when I first saw them.
2. Evemer's turn-around had me going huh.
3. I called the ending from a mile away obviously.
4. Villainy was concluded at the 92% mark very easily. The rest was the conclusion of the romance. At that point, I was kinda tired of all the will they will they not, especially when I know they will. Was curious to see the epiphany that would cause it. Eh.
5. I liked this book.
Was almost put off by a particularly bad review on Goodreads, and well, after reading it, I don't agree at all, about the representation, and about the writing.
I don't give a lot of 5 stars. It really depends on my mood and sometimes I change ratings (but never the 5's). This book is 5 stars because it is spectacular writing.
Well that was almost disappointing.
The beginning was nice, the ending was nice, but the middle was lowkey boring.
Idk I'm tired of I like you, you like me, but for REASONS we can't be together. Yes I know the reasons can be totally valid, but it just doesn't do it for me now. And by now I mean at this moment, today, this past week I spent listening to this book. This might be a reread too. I know I read book 1 before listening to it but I'm not sure about this one. I didn't remember anything about it either way.
Also, the constant use of the word “depressed” to describe Jason had me a lil iffy. Idk. He wasn't depressed. Yes depression has many faces, but he wasn't depressed. He was little sad, not Big Sad.
Narrator was fantastic.
Classic Tal Bauer: super sweet romance. And when shit hits the fan, shit reallllly hits the fan. The one scene (or group of scenes) I think of where I wanted more was Mike's rejection after their weekend. I wanted that a bit more because if you haven't realized by now, I like to suffer. Tal's becoming a sure thing for me.
I enjoyed this!
It's longer than I expected (my fault for not checking how long the audio was) but still a nice listen.
John Solo was good as usual. Not the greatest at accents, but I didn't really care. Jack and Ethan's relationship was sweet, as per all Tal Bauer's couplings so far. I did figure out the mystery, but that's fine too. It wasn't the kind of thing where you're like hello stop this person right here.
So why -0.25?
I didn't like some of the exposition vomits. The news clippings between chapters weren't great at first, because it just seemed like an easy info dump. Oh by the way this has just happened, we move now to our characters' reactions. I would have much preferred for the info to be shared in some other way.
The only time I liked the news clipping was
the press's reaction to Jack after the funeral. I would have liked to see Ethan's real time reaction too. As well as Ethan after being kidnapped. Like I wanted to follow Ethan after they took him. It seems like not much happened so we didn't miss much anyway.
Some of the other random conversations were interesting but a bit confusing at first. Was wondering who was who. Luckily it was all revealed at the end.
After the action winds down we have some sweet time with Ethan and Jack. Quite a bit of time too. Again, Tal does this a lot. Didn't super mind.
It's a really nice read.
I'm on the last chapter. Not a lot can change the rating for me though.
There's a lot more to rant about when I don't like a book. I liked this one. I guessed part of the mystery, the second twist was interesting.
Katie's attitude was a bit overdramatic. Most teenagers are actually normal people. I should know. I was one. Dammit wasn't everyone? So pls enough of the teenage attitude in books.
Noah could be frustrating, but I understand. I loved Cole so much.
Still, a gripping tale, tense enough to keep me coming back, and helped me out on a terribly anxious day.
Listened to the audio. Some people complain about John Solo. Idk, I struggled with his whisper at first, but his voice is lowkey sexy and I'm not going to complain.
I was going to give this book a 4.5, but it let me down a little, all the way to a 3.75.
FYI not spoiler free.
I'll start with a few nits. The first is more of a half nit. The word is byproduct, not biproduct. I was like is this some sort of bisexual pun why tf is there a spelling error in a published book? It's small but looked so wrong.
Now the real first, the phrase “insolent mouth” is used to describe Lonan's mouth too many times, and it isn't even true. Lonan isn't mouthy, or a wordsmith or a snaky spy or anything. And this is a first person story, so Ash has absolutely nothing to go on when he meets Lonan and is like, you know what, that silent mouth is insolent. I cannot.
Second, I believed from the blurb that Lonan would be a dangerous man. The kind that you know, justifies the number of warnings about him. But he's so young, too young to have the reputation he has. He doesn't have the “bad for you” vibe that I expected, and thus I was disappointed. We don't even see him physically harm anyone. And Ash's constant “he'll probably drive a blade through my gut” felt unfounded, almost bizarre. Like no, he doesn't really seem violent man, calm down.
Third, on God there is barely any chemistry between Ash and Lonan. It didn't feel like a romance novel. It felt like a regular fantasy novel where two characters get together even though there's barely any chemistry and you're just like, whatever, I'm more interested in the plot anyway. I don't buy the desperation or lust. And Lonan is constantly appearing out of nowhere. The first time, I'm like, I guess he does that... Subsequent times I'm just like, of course, of course he shows up. Of course he hears the conversation. It's too convenient.
Fourth, I'm not a huge fan of characters who like to start fights with their love interests. Or of sentences like “Boiling anger flared through me,” as a reaction to a sad but not unexpected revelation. Or of adult characters “stomping” when they are upset. Or of characters asking others to shut up when they are clearly about to clarify something important.
I'm extremely disappointed the development of Caom (Caem?)'s character. Dude remains flat. No growth, nothing. Hoped he'd become a true friend.
I'm intrigued. I want to see how Ash and Lonan's story will be resolved. Here's hoping book 2 has more plot, aside from party fuck party cook fuck party last act.
Also if I had a quarter for everytime an SFF MC lost an arm, I'd have many quarters by now.
Finally read this book after having it on my TBR for years!
It's tense until the characters get together and then ALL tension vanishes. I don't just mean sexual tension, I mean all the conflicts in the story: the money problem is also solved at the same time, societal homophobia is shelved away and not worried about anymore, same with Griff's father, same with their co-workers at the FDNY. The world becomes right as rain once they fuck. Which, I guess if there isn't going to be miscommunication or new introduced conflict, is fine.
The sexual tension before though is sizzling. It's the classic case of double pining.
I will say though the use of “creamy” to consistently describe Griff's skin, had me looking around my room to see if anyone else was seeing this shit. No, creamy hip is just not the way to go like I don't understand. Creamy? CREAMY?
Sigh.
Taking a break from A CERTAIN TRILOGY and thought I would read this just for fun.
I saw the Goodreads review warning about misogyny. Allow me to put one here as well: this book is misogynistic af.
“The women wore funny looks on their faces, but the guys didn't seem to care.” Hahahahaha women no sense of humour hahaha guys so cool hehe. Jesus Christ. This is just one of the “more subtle” digs by the way.
Now then, on to the parts I did read, because Lord knows I skipped so many parts in desperate boredom.
Abracadabra telekinesis whoosh vampire speed waah alpha whoop whoop.
It's bad.
Let's start from the info dump conversation at the beginning: yeah vampires, magic, bigfoot, everything is real. Well they didn't mention bigfoot, I just figured, if everything else is real, why not bigfoot? Also you're going to magical school! Wow! And even though you're twenty one, it'll be just like a stereotypical high school where everyone has no persoanlity! Not a super mature college-adjacent experience, no sir.
“Our sweet mate.”
Hold on lemme puke for a second.
OuR sWeEt MaTe.
“What do you need, dweeb?”
How is dweeb supposed to be a term of endearment?
“Our little puppy.”
Sigh.
This review contains spoilers not tagged. There are too many to tag. It's like a speech but 90% of it is bleep bleep bleep.
Wtf???
For God's sake how many times will one of them need saving?????
This is not a coherent review. I have not slept.
The betrayal is too much! It's too fucking much. Can one of them please escape the constant betrayal, even from Vasili wtf. Hello. Hello! Look the first time it's interesting but when it happens at every point and from EVERY SINGLE PERSON OMG. HOW IS IT THAT EVERYONE IS A TRAITOROUS SNAKE? I don't get it. Every single person, I mean every single fucking person, has betrayed Niko at least once. Literally. Can this man catch a BREAK?
Also Niko I love you but Vasili is toxic. Find yourself a nice man and a nice cabin in the woods. For fuck's sake.
Amir's dead. I'm supposed to cheer after my last review but I just feel sorry for him. Why are the elves even here...just to suffer?
I can't believe this. Vasili OMG you fucking fuck fuck you so much. Niko pls leave him. No wait rescue him one more time then leave him. Jesus Christ. Toxicity everywhere. Going to read a nice untoxic book after I finish inhaling this series. Nah who am I kidding probably going to read her other books too because I ENJOY SUFFERING.
This would be 4.5 stars but -1 for
- his lips ticked. Omg it was said six times and that's six times too much. What is that even? Twitching?
- the constant needing to be rescued. Oh lord. Rescue missions are nice. Once. AT MOST twice. And that's maybe not in the same book.
- still no “fuck yeah” moment from either Vasili or Niko for me. Gotta give me one of these man. Niko came close, but he wasn't himself so it wasn't quite it. I was more worried for him than cheering him on.
- Vasili. Fuck this snake. Poisonous snake. Jesus.
Also the end was so chaotic I forgot how furious I was with the way they kept hurting each other at the beginning and middle.
“I don't care about you.”
“Haha me neither. I hate you too.”
“You hate me? You must be fucking other people.”
“Why do you care? Fuck you. Also I-“
“Lemme cut you off right there before you tell me how you really feel. I would like to continue assuming you hate me thank you very much.”
On to the next book!
(So effing glad it's only a trilogy)
Edit: I was reading someone else's review and they mentioned the keys thing being confusing and yeah. I just steadily ignore any explanations of the jinni and three families thing. Hopefully by book 3 someone'll explain it better.
This review has many spoilers (somewhat).
First, let's clear something up. Do I have choice words for this book? Yes. Am I immediately proceeding to book 2? Absolutely.
Ugh, this book is cheap! It just doesn't commit. Wavers on the edge but cops out so many times.
The obvious comparison to make here is Captive Prince. I'm not going to make it. Captive Prince is better, because it fucking commits.
I spoiled it for myself a while before reading the book, so I knew Julian was a bad guy and could see the suspicious moments before they happened. But still cheap! I want betrayal to sting. It can't sting when Niko and Julian's relationship is just kinda...there. And I'm like, ok yeah, cool. I practically skimmed their sex scenes too.
Niko is a moron. How tf could he leave that girl like that? It's so cheap. It's so cheap. I could see from a mile away that she'd be offed before he returned. Everyone could see it.
How did Vasili save Niko? Seemed like Julian would keep him close. Man just rides up on a horse and whisks him away like where are all the other elves hello?
So Niko is the Butcher of Blaviken, oh wait sorry, wrong guy? Ok. For a guy with such a name, man didn't do a lot of butchering. He fucking walks out at the end. Just straight up leaves through the front door. Jesus Christ. All the times to leave and he chooses the right then. Wow.
Amir running in at the end is some bullshit. Some cheap bullshit come on, come the fuck on. So fucking cheap. He's like some low grade villain that just won't die even though there's ample opportunity. Why is he still alive at the end of this book? Kill this man omg. And he's apparently a big bad in the next book. He's cartoony at best. Nothing scary about him. Not a good villain. This Carlo I hear of, may have been the better brother to leave alive.
There is no urgency in this book! Seems like Niko can take a vacation anytime he wants for any length of time and come back and everything is where he left it. A couple weeks out on injury, nothing happens. Man takes his time healing. Weeks building a whole ass house. Nah, no progress on the mystery. A whole fucking year after walking through the front door, and the plot has not moved! Casual bickering at the castle. Hello somebody kill somebody so that somebody cares! (Carlo doesn't count. Literally no one cared). Oh my Lord.
Man just rides his horse at the end and I'm like, tf, where you going? Why the fuck are you going NOW WHEN IT'S PROBABLY TOO LATE YOU MORON.
Also, the word professional was used TOO MANY TIMES in this book. Is this contemporary or what? What do you mean by professional exactly? Because I imagine a suit and tie, and I know Niko doesn't wear a suit and FUCKING TIE. I'm breaking into caps. I need to drink water and begin book two. Same with the word domestic. Too contemporary idk. I want more thees and thous (not literally obviously) in the dialogue. This seems like high fantasy, and there's nothing it it to make me accept the use of the words professional and domestic. Niko the Professional. Omg.
Also Niko please do something badass in book 2. I never flew out of my seat for you. Or Vasili. I want to.
Sigh. Also that escape from the castle scene? Cheap. Omg so cheap! And the scene before that? I physically cringed when he spoke to Talos. Pushed my phone away and wrung my hands in pain.
Am I still giving this a four star? Yes. There's promise here. Especially in the love story. If it works out well, it'll have been a nice little slow burn.
But omg someone kill Amir pls.
Read on KU.
Sniff, sniff.
I liked this. I had a bit of trouble at first with the third person present tense, and was worried it'd be too distracting. But I stuck with it and a few pages in, stopped noticing it.
The writing is lyrical, and I'm a sucker for lyrical writing (maybe because it's how I like to write too).
“I could love you.”Aside from Ned being mean with late papers (seriously professors, a little kindness... Some of us are trying our best), I liked him. It was slow burn, nice and sweet.
I'm not familiar with academia so if there are any discrepancies etc I didn't notice and didn't care.
A typical phone conversation:
Character 1: Hi, let's have a really weird and stilted conversation.
Character 2: I totally agree. I'm going to speak in Italics too, by the way. Because I'm not a protagonist, you know. As one does. And yeah, all of us talk like this. Pretty much like nobody does in real life. Lots of sentences, paragraphs even, your eyes will so glaze over.Parts of this book were seriously problematic. E.g Nico assuming the demon granddaddy would be okay with Bel being gay and poly because he's a demon. What in the fuck kind of association is that? Being gay and/or poly is demonic now? Oh come on, come on
Characters are one dimensional. I did not like any of them. The plot is subpar. The smut is subpar. I don't know why I didn't DNF this book. I pushed through, skipping large swathes of it with zero consequences (which should tell you a lot).
I haven't had a good read in a bit. This was fucking glorious.
There is not much in the way of plot, and I don't care. The relationship was intriguing enough to carry the whole book. It's not perfect. There are parts where I thought, “Hmm,” but as a package? Glorious.
Wyn can get it anytime.You want my body? You want to get off?
Look, the writing is fine. There's even plot and smut (but I was unable to get into it because 75% of the book, the LI is being sexually assaulted, and by the end I dislike the MC and his LI).
It's the MC I strongly dislike. And it's in first person, so I could not escape him. I read through for his redemption, but there was none. With the way Matthew treats Ian, he and Arik might deserve each other. Might, because Arik is a literal predator and I think even Matthew deserves better.
Jesus I have never seen such a godawful manipulative scumbag MC. Throw the whole man away.
MCs can be assholes, but they gotta have something redeeming. And it's preferable that they grow, or at least grow to admit that they're pieces of shit. Yes, Arik sometimes admits that he's an asshole, but he always justifies it. That, I think, is what makes him irredeemable.
Very nice.
I've had this on my to-read for a while now. Started the audiobook and realized the narrator was not going to do it for me. It was the same guy from Spellbound which I'd just finished, and I was distracted by it.
Anyway, I called it. Called the twist too. But was still nervous so you know it's a good mystery :)
Good chemistry. Cooper is prickly done right. Prickly but also with enough emotional maturity to try. Park is sweet af.
Hmm. This started off strong, and then once the two MCs got together, it, hmm.
Minor spoiler.
Listen, I like languages too, but like one word of Italian and you're weak at the knees? Come on.
This just didn't hit the spot. I think it's that the big final battle felt anti climactic. I've seen this often though, so I won't let it detract from the rest of the book. Still a solid read.
Be warned though, the sex scenes are fade-to-black.
Ah. A space opera. Noice.
This was good. Slow burn. It's not a very actiony plot with lots of pew pew pew. It's more political but because Kiem isn't very experienced, there's less intrigue, less maneuvering, secrets, etc.
The romance, uh, takes time. It's fine though, there's some plot to make up for it, so the book doesn't drag too much. Narration is excellent.
Oh Jainan. You deserve the world.
Fucking glorious.
About a specific scene:
Oh God the scene in the library with Robin and Edwin's ankles. Oh my God. It's the little things that burn.
Audiobook narrator was excellent, though a bit slow and with some long pauses. But, still glorious.
The audiobook for this is 26 hours. Somehow, that didn't register till I started listening, and it wouldn't have registered if I hadn't found myself checking how many hours I had left every few chapters. This entire review is full of spoilers, and you will see me swear. If you are like I was, 20% through and struck with the realization that you frankly do not give a shit what happens next, or perhaps you have just finished it, then continue below.
Otherwise I leave you with this: too many words for all the rubbish scenes, zero words for epic fight scenes (I mean literally, the book cut away to another POV).
HOW CAN I, AFTER 250 PAGES, NOT HAVE BEEN GIVEN ENOUGH OF ONE OF THE MAIN CHARACTERS? A CHARACTER IN THE BLURB? Why should I give a fuck about Niclays Roos or fucking Loth Beck?
I will address a few things.1. The romance between Ead and Sabran.When I first read the blurb, I thought the romance would be between Ead and Tané. I wondered how they would meet, until that scene in the garden (or wherever they were walking), where Ead says she has no idea why she is suddenly acting irrationally around Sabran. I had had no idea too, until that moment. I had no idea, even at the end and after many confessions of love. As I write this now, I still see zero chemistry.Sabran was cruel, and Ead thought she was selfish. Then they are kissing and that's it, that's all the development we get. If you read this for the love story, woe is you.2. Tané's arc.a. Torusa. Wow. After the fight he is never heard from again. I do in fact believe that at the end of 850 pages, Shannon forgot he'd existed at all.b. Her relationship with her dragon: a couple smiles exchanged before Tané becomes a dragon rider, the first talking scene, the confession scene, the scene after they are reunited, some time traveling to the South, the final fight, the end. Those are all the scenes with Tané and her dragon. This book has a dragon on the cover. And after 850 pages, those are all the scenes with Tané and her dragon.3. Niclays RoosIdgaf about his relationship with Jannart (I may get spellings wrong as I listened to the book). There was one flashback scene, and I fucking wanted to sleep through it. He's a sad sack of shit. Don't get me wrong, I feel for him because Sabran is a cruel piece of shit, but he had choices to make in life, and he made several questionable ones. But aside from his personality, he just didn't really do anything.Things happen to him. He is a vessel for narration, like Loth. This is never more clear than on the island, where he has a chance to escape but chooses to stay because he is entranced by the story.Of course, what Shannon means here is that readers are entranced by the story, and Niclays cannot leave because then how else would readers hear the end? It is lazy, and fucking boring.4. Loth.So fucking sheltered in his braindead religion. Like Niclays, things happen to him. Towards the end, he improves, but if I had to listen to him talking about the Saint again, I would...well I wouldn't be very happy.5. The death of KitThat was startling. I have to assume it was added for shock value. I was shocked alright, shocked with the realization that I wasn't going to enjoy reading this book. Say what you will about harsh realities or whatever, none of the main characters died. And for Tané Suza and Ashari died. Should've killed the dragon too. Killed her off too.6. Kalyba.What was her purpose? You know when Sabran had a fever, right after the scene where Tané eats the Orange fruit and bursts into flames or something, I thought Sabran had eaten the fruit. I thought in the final fight we'd see her duel Kalyba. But no, Kalyba talked a lot and then got stabbed by Ead. I just, wow.7. The fight between Ead and the Prioress.The book cuts away to Loth just before the fight. The next thing we see is Ead injured. This is certainly a choice, and a choice that means it is difficult for me to give this book up to 3 stars. It is emblematic of the problems with this book. The way time is spent in the head of useless things, and not enough on the things that ballads are made of.8. The training with the jewels.There is nothing here, just as there was no description for this. 850 pages. 26 hours.9. The jewels, the swordMy head, my shoulders, my knees and toes, bring me more macguffins. I love how often these are lost and easily obtained. There is no conflict in this book, not really. There is only loss of loved ones. They all suffer that, except Ead for the most part, but there are no consequences for anything else. Lose the dragon, locate the dragon. Lose the jewel, locate the jewel. Get poisoned, aha cure easily no problem at all. Be about to die, get saved.10. I'm confused. Why does Fyredel not simply attempt to burn Sabran a second time? Heck, he doesn't even go after Ead for real. Doesn't even try to burn the town down. I guess they don't want to destroy the world, but when your main villain is just pure evil with zero nuance, I cannot understand why everything done in his name would not be pure evil. Where is the line?11. The Nameless One. The next villain in a book should be Unnamed. He without name. Birth-certificateless-less. Who-the-fuck.12. The whole ending was underwhelming. Suddenly the armies unite. Fight, win, as expected. Like surprise me, for once, surprise me.13. The most tragic deaths in this book are Triam and Truyde. After their executions, the main characters then simply do what they tried to do, very easily. They were both so fucking brave. The scene in the jail where Truyde tells Ead the Knight of Courage is her Saint, bruh, that was better than any other speeches.14. Crest should've been drawn and quartered. Sabran should've made sure of it. She literally has no backbone.15. The Priory is made up of a bunch of fools. Were the damsels even at the final fight?16. The final fight where Tané wished she had a Seiikenese weapon. The whole time I'm wondering why she doesn't have one. Like, isn't part of preparing for battle making sure you have a weapon that you can and want to use?17. The narrator. Bruh that “So be it” from the Nameless One was just like, peak narration. The accents don't mesh with what they apparently should. I think if I had read this I would've been more forgiving, because I'd be able to read much faster. But I listened to the whole thing because I really fucking wanted to get to the end. I did. It was disappointing, but frankly, I saw that coming from 10% in.