Absolution

Do you like A-hole characters? Do you like books that hit you in the gut? Do you like having your heart ripped from your chest and then pieced back together again? Yes? Then this is the book for you. The book deals with some very difficult situations and ultimately it's a book about saving and forgiving yourself. It's a book about realising that you have to do that in order to keep living and providing for the people in your life. Admitting to yourself about how you feel and letting the guilt go, allowing yourself to grieve. I thought it was handled beautifully. It's raw, and hard to read at times. But, ultimately it's uplifting and healing.

These characters are amazing, not necessarily amazing in the sense that I loved them the whole time, but in the sense that they made me react. Not always in a positive way, but that's okay. I'm intrigued by Preston, and I shall be diving into his story next, I'm on the fence about Evie - so we'll see how that goes.
Jace is an a-hole. First class a-hole. The things he says and does are just ball-punch worthy, but, the guy is grieving and guilt-ridden, so although I don't excuse his behaviour, I can understand it to an extent. He was so broken. As the book progresses he improves, you can see him falling for Sydney and in essence, his kids...it was like they were rediscovering themselves as a family and that was beautiful to experience. Of course, just when you think he's getting to good guy territory he goes and says something that makes you gasp and consider throwing your kindle. He comes good, in the end, he seeks help from the people that matter to him...the people that had always wanted to help, but he never let. I can understand why some people would have issues with certain things he does and says, but, it's so obvious that it's the guilt talking that I was able to forgive him.
I struggled with Sydney to begin with. She was a little too much of a fixer, to the point where she was pushing herself onto Jace and his family, saying and doing things that she really didn't have any right to. But, as time went on I did start to understand her more and become more attached to her. I did get a little frustrated that she didn't tell Jace about her ex and what he was doing, especially when the opportunity arose. I also felt for her, she was always picking the wrong guys and that stemmed from her childhood, and knowing the type of guys she'd been with in the past, I just wanted her to be happy. I wanted to shake her a few times, but again, she came good when she stood up and made the decision to do the right thing for her and basically say, ‘you know what, I'm worth more than this, I deserve better.'
Logan and Avery are just the sweetest kids, they've experienced such a huge loss in their lives and it was almost like they'd lost both their parents because Jace was so withdrawn from them, I mean, he still ensured they had someone, but it wasn't him, and they felt that, so getting to see them opening up to Sydney and doing fun things together was heartwarming.
I liked that Jace and Sydney's relationship was built on friendship and it was that friendship that started to break through Jace's grief and guilt to make him look at his life and his decisions and start making better ones. The connection they had was palpable and the sexy times were off the charts sexy. I need to check my Kindle for scorch marks. I loved that this was not just about Jace and Sydney, but also the children, they played a big part in their relationship and the healing process, for so long Jace had pushed them away because he didn't think they needed him, that he felt he was the reason their mother was gone, and watching him slowly start to do more with them, and reconnect as a family, well, it was beautiful.



This is the first book I've read by Ava Harrison. It definitely won't be my last. Ava's writing is phenomenal - it is gut-wrenching, emotional, and raw. She destroyed my heart and slowly and surely mended it. It did take me a little while to get into the swing of it, there was a bit too much repetition for my liking at the beginning, (I think it was mentioned three times about Sydney's ex and why he's her ex,) but, once I got hooked, I was hooked hard and nothing could pull me away. I was captivated by these characters and this story. I had guessed one of the plot turns, and I knew the reactions to it were going to be bad...but, OMG, I never expected it to be that bad, I actually gasped. One of the best books I've read this year. I switched between the eBook and the audiobook, which isn't something I do often and it actually worked really well, I listened more than I read. Sebastian York and Grace Grant were wonderful as Jace and Sydney. More about the narration later on. Single parent is one of my favourite type of stories and this one has blown almost all of the others out of the water. The angst and feels just captured my heart and wouldn't let go. This cover, oh my word. You can keep all your shirtless guy covers, this right here is where it is at. This is what gets my attention, this is what hits my sexy radar. I looked into this book because of the cover. And, after finishing the book - it IS Jace. 1000%. This is a standalone, however, I personally feel readers would benefit greatly from reading Transference first. Not because Absolution doesn't stand on its own, but because they interconnect, I'm about to start Transference and I know part of what happens and I think it takes away the guesswork, and I love the experience of reading a book for the first time and trying to figure what's happening, what is going to happen, and if they're going to get a HEA. But, of course, that is just personal taste.


I thought this audiobook was perfectly cast, Sebastian York was Jace. I think it's the best performance I've ever listened to him do - of course, I've not listened to them all. His voice was deep and rather gruff...not how I'd normally describe him. The emotion he conveyed was astounding, you felt the pain the character was experiencing bleeding through the earbuds. The character and the performance were the three S's - sexy, sweet, and swoony. Don't get me wrong, the character is an A-Hole, but, he has sweet moments. He really does nail the single father aspects and his child's voice is never over-compensating. Grace Grant was fantastic as Sydney too, she really gave that character life. It's amazing how each emotion Sydney felt was conveyed in the tone Grace used...you believed that she was hurt, or unsure, or happy. It's amazing to have that come through, not in words, but in tone and for the listener to be immersed. Grace is always so skilled at that.
Grace and Sebastian's voices blended really well together in this book. Their performances mixed with Ava Harrison's words at times brought tears to my eyes. They really nailed this story and these broken characters...they breathed life into them. It was wonderful to listen to and one of the best audiobooks of 2018.
I enjoyed the production and didn't notice any issues. I'm still getting used to not having the chapter PoV said at each chapter announcement...which is especially jarring when you're switching between reading and listening, but that is just a personal thing and I'm sure the more I listen to books that are like it, and it appears that it's being done that way more and more, the more I'll get used to it.

 

Truth be told, I went into this book with pretty low expectations. I honestly wasn't expecting to like it as much as I did. I still had some major issues with Jace's character, but apart from that, it was a pretty decent read for me. Frankly, this author is just a brilliant writer. She can write emotional scenes and heartache with the best of them. This book gutted me. I cried. I was angry. I wanted to throat punch Jace. I wanted to shake Sydney and tell her to “MOVE THE FUCK ON.” I was completely enthralled with this story and couldn't put the book down. Even the fact that he is still very much grieving for his dead wife for most of the book didn't bother me. It had only been a year since she and their unborn baby died, and grief (and especially guilt) isn't a switch you can turn off and on. I understood his pain and anger. I also never once felt that Sydney was second best either. Quite frankly I hate the term second best because it implies that love is some sort of competition. People love different people in different ways. It doesn't mean that the love he felt for Sydney was less than the love he felt for his wife because he was still grieving over her loss. The love he feels (and will always feel) for his wife didn't in any way diminish the love he felt for Sydney.





That said, grief isn't an excuse to be an utterly despicable human being either. It doesn't give you a pass to treat people like crap. It doesn't give you a pass for being an alcoholic (something that is never addressed in the book at all and really should have been). It doesn't give you a pass to neglect your children, who, just an FYI, also lost someone they loved (their mother). Jace was a completely unlikable douche (for most of this book). I felt for him, I really did, but I can't think of a single good quality this guy had. The way he treated his own children and family was deplorable and inexcusable. A lot of the book from the beginning until right near the end was him treating everyone (especially Sydney) like dirt on the bottom of his shoes. I hated him for that. I also hated how he abandoned Sydney when she needed him the most. However, he did work himself back into my good graces by the end...ever so slightly.

On to Sydney...was she a doormat? Yes, sort of, I can see why some people may feel that way about her character. I am not sure “I” would call her a doormat as much as she was just a decent human being with a big heart. Considering how badly this guy treated his kids, I was happy that she kept coming back for their sakes. She also did give as good as she got at times, so not a complete doormat in my opinion. Did she deserve better than Jace? For most of the book, yes. Should she have made Jace grovel more? Undoubtedly. That said. I ended the book feeling like this couple was on solid ground. It was a heartbreaking, and rage-inducing journey to get there, but get there they did.





So there you go. A bit of a mixed bag. Which leaves me struggling to decide on a rating. The book was amazingly written, and it clearly invoked a lot of different feelings from me. Which usually means 5-Stars. Alas, I disliked (but also strangely understood) the hero with the passion of a thousand white-hot suns. Resulting in me (at times) really wanting the heroine to move on and find a decent hero (lol). What to do...what to do?? I think I am going to go with a 4-Star rating at this point with the option to change my mind after I marinate on it a bit more.