Adultério

My sadness has become routine, no one notices anymore. I can not sleep right. I feel selfish. I keep trying to impress people as if it were a child. Alone and crying for no reason in the bath. I only made love with ease even once in many months - and you know well the day I'm talking about. I've considered all this to be a rite of passage, a result I have spent 30 years, but this explanation is not enough. I feel I'm wasting my life, that one day I will look back and regret everything I did. Unless having married you and had our beautiful children. - But this is not the most important?