All We Could Still Have

Quick Read That Serves As A Good Look Into The Mind Of Some Childless People. I've struggled for nearly 10 days now to sit down and write out my thoughts on this book, and ultimately what I come down to is that this really is a really good look at how desperate some people are to have children - and the lengths they will go through to get them, up to and including risking everything else they claim to care about. As a sub-300 page book, it is also a relatively quick read, which helps because this is largely one dark and depressing tome (can a sub-300 page book be a 'tome'? this one certainly feels like it) that will have many readers wanting to throw it out the nearest window, even if reading it on your Kindle or other device. There is just enough light here to keep it from being *too* dark and depressing, but seriously, if you've ever been anywhere near these issues in your "real" life... this one hits all too close to home. And while I, as a male, have never been in our female lead's exact shoes - I've been near enough to her husband's, as we actively weighed IVF and the "modern miracle" horrors it wreaks on the female body in a desperate ploy to *maybe* get pregnant. In the end, my wife and I actively chose to become childfree - yes, there is a difference between childfree and childless, and this book actively shows it. Childfree is happy not having kids. Childless is always feeling a void/ like you've missed out on something, as our lead here does. Still, for those who have never reason to consider this particular path or its varying branches... this really is truly a strong look into that overall mindset, for all its benefits and pitfalls. Very much recommended.

I Just finished All We could still have by Diane Barnes and here are my musings.

Nikki is desperate to become a mother, so desperate she doesn't see the harm in putting her and her husband, Kyle, into debt they can never claw their way out of because having kids is priceless. Round after round of failed IVF doesn't seem to phase her but Kyle is ready to pull the plug.

Not listening to anything he has to say, Nikki pulls money out of her retirement then lies about it. The betrayal sends Kyle over the edge and he walks away from their once happy and secure marriage.

Nikki has two choices, a life without Kyle or one where she forges a path ahead in a marriage that will be without a child of her very own.

TRIGGER WARNING. I rarely do this but as a mother myself, I feel anyone who is sensitive to relationship issues surrounding IVF failures, should do their homework before reading this book. Having said that, this book handles the topic with real care and attention to detail.

As you would expect from a book like this, the pace was very slow but it built a really strong narrative around Nikki which made the book very powerful and I love a good HEA story. The writing was much better than I was expecting which was a huge plus.

I am not a fan of Nikki and having an MC I am not fond of, makes it hard for me to connect with a book, but I actually found this was better for this book, I felt like I was watching it from a disconnected place which gave me a new and exciting perspective for the book. It was really sad and it made me have all the feels!!

It isn't my normal read but I actually really enjoyed it.

4 stars

Thank you @netgalley and #lakeunionpublishing for my gifted copy

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