And Then There Was Us

actual rating: 3.5⭐️

This book was an emotional rollercoaster, there's so much to unpack with this one but I don't want to spoil its story in my review. So I will say this: this book is heavy, there's a lot of heavy themes and topics in this book such as physical/mental abuse, unprocessed trauma, and death of a family member to name a few.

The approach to telling this story is interesting because we follow Coi, an 18 year old that actually has a really good head on her shoulders but, beneath her hustle and hard work, she is fractured from the actions and inaction of her abusive mother. Coi's thoughts throughout the book are interesting because we as the reader can see her trying to work out her emotions/feelings when confronted with certain things. Her debating the course she wants to take a conversation with her boyfriend, Derrick or her grandmother, Lady. She has a good read on people but funny enough, because this is just how life is, she doesn't have a good read on herself until her family spells it out for her clearly. Coi's character arc was beautiful to read, the shift in attitude and mindset; as she takes a step into processing the death of her mother and her relationship with her mother.

I will say, the reason I mark this book at 3.5 stars and not a solid 4, is due to the fact that while the pacing was fine even though I would be like “oh we're jumping in time again” that part I was fine with because it felt like those were fade outs from that particular point in Coi's life to keep the story moving along. My main complaint is that I wish some scenes were expanded upon even more. There are so many conversations that I wish got a proper conclusion and not an abrupt ending because it felt like it would stop right when we were getting a pivotal moment for the characters. For instance, Coi and her father's conversations were often cut short and I wish we could've gotten more from them, more backstory about Coi's mother.

Another example would be Derrick, I think his character could've been developed a bit more, especially because Coi's treatment of him wasn't always the best as she was going through A LOT in this book. I wish they could've had at least a conversation about it because it was something that happened often throughout the story. I also wish that there could've been more with Coi's dreams of her mother, those dreams were so vital to the story that I found myself anticipating the next one because it added nuance to the story.

Coi and Kayla's relationship was written so well, the hard hitting questions were so important for both of their stories and I am glad this book didn't shy away from that at all.

I didn't expect this book to make me cry but it did, this book takes its themes of family, loss, grief, and trauma; and really shows a full display of the healing process, the “my mom was a shitty and I hated her for it but I also loved her and miss her” bit, confronting thoughts that have been kept under lock and key for years, reliving certain experiences and being traumatized all over again.

Thank you to Netgalley & Penguin Random House Canada for the eARC in exchange for an honest review.