Cribsheet

Man, do I love Emily Oster books. Your first book in this series, expecting better, was incredibly formative for how we are experiencing our first pregnancy. It was so helpful to get clarity on the multitude of opinions that exist around pregnancy and childbirth.

However (as she herself says in this book) after delivery, there's a lot less absolutism we can glean from data around raising kids. There are often multiple approaches that work better depending on who the kid ends up being, which you will never know before you actually have the kid. And for that reason this lost a star. Admittedly, these are for reasons beyond Oster's control, and where she is able to deconstruct and correct the predominant narrative, she happily does so; but it feels like the main point of this book is more to help parents trust themselves and trust their guts that there are multiple healthy routes to guide your kids down, and so as long as you have good intentions and due diligence, you will be fine.

I appreciate this message, and I find it really helpful. If anything, the data deconstructs the idea that there is one right way to raise a kid. But I feel like these books are sold under idea that they will help parents make data-driven decisions about their kids. But for nearly every topic she covers, the data are conflicting, lacking, inconsistent, or have some flaws. Again, this is helpful to know. But it's not why someone would open this book. She does give more information to help with the decision-making process, but in an individualized way, and not in an objective way.

So in the end, I leave this book feeling more at ease with entering parenthood, even if I don't necessarily feel more equipped to do so. Because no one can actually be fully prepped before hand. And that lesson made this book absolutely worth reading.