Ratings152
Average rating3.7
Spoilers aheadThis book reminded me of [b:Tomorrow, and Tomorrow, and Tomorrow 58784475 Tomorrow, and Tomorrow, and Tomorrow Gabrielle Zevin https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/books/1636978687l/58784475.SY75.jpg 89167797] by Gabrielle Zevin. Both have potentially good stories but struggle to engage due to their beautiful prose, which, unfortunately, makes it hard to connect with the characters.As I started reading, I was moved by the story of love and connection in times of war. It reminded me of [b:As Long as the Lemon Trees Grow 57390604 As Long as the Lemon Trees Grow Zoulfa Katouh https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/books/1642433141l/57390604.SX50.jpg 89844864] by Zoulfa Katouh. It provided a view into a hardship I've never experienced, helping me develop empathy for those who do and grow to care about the characters, hoping for a ‘happy ending' or at least a resolution to their pain.But similarly to [b:Tomorrow, and Tomorrow, and Tomorrow 58784475 Tomorrow, and Tomorrow, and Tomorrow Gabrielle Zevin https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/books/1636978687l/58784475.SY75.jpg 89167797], it was a book of ‘nearly misses.' A story of converging and diverging, but never really touching. It left me feeling like I was robbed of something. This book doesn't make any promises, and it's not meant to soothe or satisfy you. It's an exhibit of humanity in all its pretty, ugly, and honest faces.As someone who generally needs either a deep connection to characters or unexpected plots to stay engaged, I found this book difficult to finish.The incongruity is that, as I read, I felt like I was listening to a piece of art. I recognize the beauty in how it's written, showing the full spectrum of experiences, following a story of hardship, and even imagining a world without frontiers. The societal and political implications were thought-provoking.But as the story moved forward in the timeline, sometimes randomly giving us peeks into other stories and sometimes jumping ahead years, days, or hours, it felt disorienting. I felt like I was on skates, trying to grab pieces of the story laid along my path, but only had time to take what was within my reach. I constantly felt like something was missing.I am really torn. I know I liked it and that it's a unique and beautiful book, but I also don't think it's for everyone. Like art, I'd compare it to an abstract piece. There are so many interpretations, and the structure is loose, letting each viewer make what they want of it. I think it succeeded in this, as evidenced by the varied sentiments in its reviews.My main struggle was wanting a happy resolution so badly that I forgot the story was meant to feel real. Not everyone can just get up and leave; leaving is a hard decision. We humans are inclined to choose safety, even if accompanied by misery, over risk and potential reward.Now, about the doors... I see that many people have issues with them since they change the story from a deep look into love in times of war to a political piece with space travel. I actually didn't hate it. Without it, I think it would have felt too close to [b:As Long as the Lemon Trees Grow 57390604 As Long as the Lemon Trees Grow Zoulfa Katouh https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/books/1642433141l/57390604.SX50.jpg 89844864]. When the doors were introduced, while super confusing, eventually, when I got a better understanding, I found it refreshing. I liked seeing the political and societal connotations. I liked thinking dreamily about the possibilities but being brought back to reality.However, when they started travelling through these doors, I lost track of the conflict. It was much harder to understand what was going on, what kind of worldwide conflict developed, and how it was resolved. I eventually decided to ignore the context and stick to following the protagonists and their ‘almost' love story.Now, back to the protagonists. At some point, particularly after they start drifting apart, I wanted dialogue. An in-depth conversation. Not just being told about what they conversed about. I wanted a real heart-to-heart to expose all the guarded truths and hidden resentments. But alas, we didn't get that. Yeah, they smoked pot and told some truths, but there was so much kept inside. And it was frustrating. Like nearly climaxing but never tipping over. But again, this may have been intentional to expose the human nature of avoiding conflict and fearing resolution.However, after going through so much together and forming a bond through shared trauma, I expected them to be more honest with each other. I understand they felt trapped by their mutual expectations and the promise they made to their father. However, I thought that facing hardships, working in the camps, and struggling to find food, would strip their filters away. Their instinct for survival would kick in, prioritizing their energy for staying alive.Oh well. I'm frustrated and satisfied at the same time. In different ways. But torn, nonetheless.