It Came from Hell

Sarah and Dan Majors tried everything to have a child but were unsuccessful until they answered an ad in the local newspaper. The Major's said "What the Hell. We've tried everything else why not give this a shot." What the Hell is right? The Major's prayers would be answered from Hell. The Majors got in their car and headed to their destination with high hopes of putting an end to the many years of failed pregnancies. Their destination would lead them deep into the mountains to a Witch Doctor who lives in a cave. As the Majors were driving through the rough terrain Sarah questioned her husband’s directions. Dan reassured his wife he called the phone number in the ad and repeated the directions twice. Sarah said "I don't like this. Why don't we turn back and try something else?" Dan again replied "We've tried everything. Now just be calm we're almost there. I can see the cave from here and I can see someone coming out of the cave waving at us." "I hope you're right about this," said his wife nervously. Dan drove up and parked his car in front of the cave. A man came up to Dan's car and knocked on his driver-side window. Dan rolled his window down and said "You must be the Witch Doctor that is going to help my wife become pregnant." "Yes, I am the Witch Doctor that will make your dream come true. Now just follow me inside the cave and we'll get started." The Witch Doctor reassured Sarah she would conceive if she followed his instructions. Sarah said, "Okay, let’s get on with it." The Witch Doctor said "Listen to what I say carefully and you will not fail. The whole process will take a month and will consist of three shots per week and an incantation said at night before you go to bed. Lastly, there will be a small fee of 5,000 dollars to cover medication and my services. Are there any questions?" Sarah and Dan said "No." "Okay, well, let us begin," exclaimed the Witch Doctor. The Witch Doctor rolled up Sarah’s sleeve administered the series of three shots in her arm and handed her an envelope with the incantation in it. Sarah and Dan thanked the Witch Doctor and headed back home and when nightfall came Sarah said the incantation and slept like a baby all night. Except for the nightmares of seeing demons Sarah would wake up every night in a cold sweat and scream out "Satan, I'm having your baby." Finally, the end of the month came and the Witch Doctor would not be seeing Sarah and Dan until eight months later to deliver her baby. For eight months Sarah was still having nightmares and saying things in her sleep like, "Satan it's almost time for our baby to be born. I'm going to be your bride soon and I'm going to name him "Sata." "The time has come. Let's go see the Witch Doctor and deliver our beautiful baby boy," said Sarah to her husband. They got in the car and as they were traveling down the road to see the Witch Doctor, Dan asked his wife. "How do you know it's a boy?" asked her husband. "It came to me in a dream one night and I've already got a name picked out for him," said Sarah her eyes glowing red. Dan did a double take and gazed into her eyes, but they changed back to her pretty blue eyes. Dan just shook his head and thought to himself, "It must have been a trick of the light." Dan asked, "What's the name that you picked out for our new baby?" "Sata," answered Sarah. "That's different, but Sata Majors doesn't sound bad at all," replied Dan. The Majors arrived just in time at the Witch Doctors' cave because Sarah’s contractions were getting unbearable during the drive up the mountains' rough terrain. Sarah said "Hurry! Honey! I think my water broke." Dan put the car in park and jumped out of the car and ran over to help his wife out of the car. Sarah put her arm around her husband's neck and the Witch Doctor helped them both into the cave to deliver unbeknownst to Dan a demon child from Hell. As the Witch Doctor pulled the baby from Sarah’s womb, Dan said "Oh! My God!! What is it?" Sarah replied "It's Satan’s baby. Look he's got your eyes. Don't you want to hold your son?"