Lang & Gelukkig

I don't know how to feel about this book.

On one hand, it was nice seeing someone else selection for once and Amberly be the calm eye to Clarkson's storm. I like that she was from Honduragua and had headaches because if the bad water and air there. It was very realistic and it made me how much better America has it, even with her lower caste. She complained in her story that she's poor and all but at least she had clean air and water and didn't have to worry about headaches, dizziness, or nosebleeds.

But this isn't about her, this is about Amberly, who has no backbone whatsoever. Her Clarkson relationship is straight up abusive. Which I guess should not have surprised me because he was abusive to his son in The Selection.

Amberly has no thought for herself and only lives for Clarkson. She said she was in love with him since she was seven. So much so that she always sung a happy birthday song to him on his birthday. She was obsessed with him. She is submissive and obedient like a dog and immediately does whatever he says.

There this scene where Amberly reveals that her family has some health and he actually DISGUSTED by it:

“I paused before answering. “Not exactly. But my sister gets nosebleeds sometimes.” “Do you just have a sickly family?” Clarkson asked, a hint of disgust in his voice. “No,” I replied, both wanting to defend myself and embarrassed to explain. “I live in Honduragua.” He raised his eyebrows in understanding. “Ah.”

But wait there's more! You might want to sit down the a whole lot more that came from

Clarkson suggests Amberly to cut her hair:“Do you think it's [her hair] maybe too long?” “Umm. I don't know, Your Highness.” I ran my fingers over it. My hair was clean and well taken care of. Did I somehow look messy without being aware of it? “What do you think?” He tilted his head. “It's a very pretty color. I think it might be nicer if it was shorter.”

Amberly complies immediately:

I sat there for a moment, considering. Then, abandoning my cake, I went to my room. My maids were there, waiting as always. “Martha, would you feel comfortable cutting my hair?”

When Martha ask how much, Amberly says to the bottom of her shoulder blades:

“I know. But can you do it? And would you still be able to make it pretty?” I pulled at the thick strands, imagining them cut off.

But when Martha asks why, Amberly responds with:

I crossed in front of her, heading into the bathroom. “I think it's time for a change.”

No, you did it because the Prince said your hair was too long.

Another one, Amber is talking about her life and explains what she does.

“Stop.” I looked at my lap. I couldn't help what I did for a living.

She so insecure around him and when he asks if she mentioned this to anyone, which she hadn't, he responds with this:

He looked to the ceiling and back to me. “You are never to tell anyone what you do. If anyone asks, your family owns a coffee plantation, and you help run it. Be vague and never, ever let on that you do manual labor. Are we clear?” “Yes, Your Highness.” He eyed me a moment longer, as if to reinforce the point. But his command was all I needed. I'd never not do anything he asked me to.

When he says jump, she jumps high. Then his parents burst in and have fight that get physical and he tears everything up, but after he's done:

He stormed across the room and stopped in front of me, a finger pointing at my face. “If you ever tell anyone what you heard, or what I did, so help me, God . . .”The angry tears glistened in his eyes as he continued. “You never let on, you understand?”

And of course, she complies. I stopped looking after this. I could go all day long about how abusive their relationship is and how Amber has no backbone.

I guess you could argue that Clarkson himself had a bad childhood and did have the best examples of love, but he could always choose not to be like his parents. It's not easy but also not impossible. Although he was better than his parents in a way, he still grew up to be abusive and controlling, not mention he cheated on Amberly when she was nothing but faithful and lived for him.

There some romantic moments but nothing of that can beat out the abusive nature of the relationship. Sometimes, abusive relationships do start out really nice.

I can't believe I used to swoon over this. But now I eyes are open and I see how terrible this novella is. If you want an example of an abusive relationship, this is novella for you! If you want a wwwaaayyy better love story in the Selection series, The Favorite is what I recommend.