Mrs. Lee and Mrs. Gray

A decent introduction to the lives of Selina Gray and Mary Lee. It's based on a true friendship between two women known in history. If you've ever been to Arlington, you've seen both these ladies' names and pictures.

One drawback was that Love tried so hard to stick to what is known that she showed the two women side by side but gave very few examples of them interacting. What sparked Mary to train up this young girl to become the housekeeper? Most history names the Syphexes as the leaders of the slave faction at Arlington, but they play a very small role here and the Norrises are named as the favorites and the most influential; that did confuse me. I understand the much smaller body of history to work with for Selina but a lot is read into her story; I also didn't think of her doubting her mistress for decades as it seems she does in the book.

A repeated error of Mary's pet name is made; she is called Molly (her mother's name) instead of Mim. That continually threw me off because I have read other accounts and am familiar with her as Mim or “dear Mary.” Love did nail the portrayal of the centrality of family life to Mary and how being with her family was what kept her fighting off the grim clutches of rheumatoid arthritis for so long.

I was a little surprised that the war years were skipped over for the most part, especially the loss of Arlington, which threw Selina out homeless. Not a word about how the property was seized and how Mary was taxed but not allowed to pay the tax even though she sent the money. The actions of Lee to free the slaves even before the North did so was glossed over (Custis's will specified that the slaves were to be freed within five years, but the home was heavily encumbered with debt; Lee exerted himself to clear that debt before the five years were up instead of allowing the creditors to come and possibly take the slaves as a payment, which was sadly what happened to many other gentlemen's slaves in that time frame: they'd leave a will to free the slaves, but so many debts that the creditors overrode the terms of the will). Yes, he made them work; but it was so that all could go free in those five years.

Love mentioned that Lee's father was a bit of a deadbeat, but she didn't illustrate that Lee viewed his father as a hero and that most of America did as well. Light-Horse Harry was nearly killed in a street riot attempting to stand up for his friend, and his “leaving his family” was that he went to the Caribbean for his health. While we don't know for sure why his wife and family stayed behind, they were apparently hoping he would recover and return, instead of the portrayal of “runaway father” that's given here. It is a fact that Lee used his father's name and fame to get the entry into dozens of society homes, so Light-Horse Harry obviously wasn't suffering too badly from “social downfall.”

So all in all a mixed bag; a good starting point for this family but not by any means a complete introduction to the history. Sadly, many small things distract from some major issues that only got a bare mention or which weren't even mentioned at all.