Please Stop Trying to Leave Me

This was a very tough one to succinctly review. On one hand I actually quite disliked the book. On the other, the book made me actually bawl at the ending. In summary, while I did not like the exercise of reading this book, I respect it.

Here's why I didn't like it: The entire first half of the book genuinely reminded me of some of the most insufferable and truly terminally online people on twitter I have literally actually witnessed behave the way the Norma does. Let me be clear, Norma is seriously burdened mentally with illness or disorder and that is abundantly clear from how she is written and how the audiobook (which was very good) narrates her. And none of my assessment is to be offensive to her or people like her. Earlier I mentioned I didn't like the exercise of reading this book, and that is quite a literal feeling--Enduring Norma's narration and story literally felt burdensome. In that way especially I tremendously respect Alana Saab for drawing that out of the book. However, speaking bluntly for myself, it made reading this book feel fatiguing.

Once the first half is shed and Norma has laid much of her life and trauma out and we start to really dig in and explore solving her issues, the book picks up. However, that is quite literally in the back half of the book. I enjoyed seeing progress in Norma and I enjoyed overturning the rock that is her life with her and her therapist, and I enjoyed seeing how their relationship changed over time. There was payoff to this book, and I really am glad I saw it through to experience that. Perhaps why I felt overly fatigued by this book is because I am going through therapy myself, however Norma's issues are so much more pronounced than mine, and yet I felt myself experiencing them and solving them as she was, and I again truly commend Alana Saab for weaving me through Norma's story with her.

Finally, let me share what part of this book broke me. I read this because it seemed to at some point include a breakup, or an impending breakup, as the title would imply. I was going through my own breakup still when reading this, and hoping to feel something and explore some parallels in this book. I did not get that much of that, except for near the end where we shift perspective a bit to see through Norma's girlfriend's point of view. She is who broke me. Fatiguing in more of a cathartic way, her girlfriend's narration viciously tore me to shreds with how unyielding it was in showing me another person's perspective of a breakup with someone who is in need of therapy, and it broke my heart. When the title of the book is said out loud in the book I dropped it and cried for about ten minutes before continuing. It was gut-wrenching.

I think this is a hard book to recommend because it is not for everyone and it is not easy to read and I don't think that the experience you will get from it is obvious how you will get there. However, I am not at all dismayed I read it. That's why my review for this looks a little low despite getting one of the most raw emotions out of me from a book in quite some time.