Relinquished

I love books that change the paradigm of how I see an issue, and Relinquished accomplished that emphatically. The anti-abortion movement has positioned adoption as the logical alternative in a post-Dobbs world. However, most of the birth mothers sociologist Gretchen Sisson interviewed* were not choosing between abortion and adoption. In fact, many of them considered themselves “pro-life.” They wanted to parent their babies, but lacked material resources and faced unrelenting pressure to relinquish them. The adoption industry and right-wing evangelical Christians branded them as selfish harlots if they chose to keep their babies, but lauded them as self-sacrificing, brave goddesses if they relinquished. There was little to no effort to help them make an informed decision, and pretty much no emotional support once they had fulfilled their role ([b:The Handmaid's Tale 34454589 The Handmaid's Tale Margaret Atwood https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/books/1488552336l/34454589.SY75.jpg 1119185], anyone?). There's a lot of money changing hands in the adoption industry, but very little of it reaches the pregnant women. As one birth mother said: If they took the money they spent telling me how empowered I am for giving up my kid, just a small part of that money, and gave it to me when I was pregnant, I would actually have been empowered to raise her.You would think that the process would be better now, with birth mothers having more access to their children through open adoptions. Surprise, none of the agreements between adoptive and birth parents about frequency or duration of contact are legally binding, and many birth mothers found themselves shut out of their children's lives after a brief “honeymoon” period. Sisson summarizes her findings and provides cultural context (don't get her started on Juno). She has empathy towards adoptive parents, but points out the frequent economic disparities between them and birth parents. The first-hand accounts from the birth mothers themselves are stark and unforgettable. They are full of grief, anger, determination, regret, hard-earned wisdom, and numerous (likely futile) pleas to change a very flawed system. *71% of Sisson's interview subjects were white, and she admits that her “snowball” recruitment methods make it difficult to generalize her findings to women of color.