Royal Assassin

Oh Fitz. Oh my sweet baby Fitz. This book made me want to CRY. The way everyone in his life, even the people who love, see him as a weapon first and a person second. The way he's always expected to put everyone above himself and seen as selfish and immature if he doesn't. The way he can never have anything to call his own, and when he finally does have something it's the one thing that everyone would/does hate him for, the thing that ends up killing him.

There's a moment where Chade says “I don't think you will ever completely trust anyone. Or believe that someone cares about you.” and my only response was: why would he? When has anyone ever showed that they loved him unconditionally? When has anyone ever loved him without using him first?

This book coincided with a bit of a reading slump for me so it took a while to get through but I just couldn't abandon this story. My heart absolutely broke for Fitz for almost every single page. He tries so hard to do the right thing and to be what everyone needs and he almost always fails. And he's only just a boy.

Every bit of it hits just as hard on a reread. Maybe even harder.