Sex From Scratch: Making Your Own Relationship Rules

Sex from Scratch is less a how-to relationship book and more a “this is how WE do it” book, a set of anecdotes or case studies that the author compiled to give the reader a much broader look at how relationships function than society usually affords us. (If you're looking for more of a detailed how-to book, take a look at [b:Polysecure: Attachment, Trauma and Consensual Nonmonogamy 52569124 Polysecure Attachment, Trauma and Consensual Nonmonogamy Jessica Fern https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/books/1598102750l/52569124.SY75.jpg 78218070], by Jessica Fern.) This is a fascinating look into non-traditional relationship dynamics and approaches that have worked (or haven't) for the people involved in them, and it is incredibly refreshing to hear stories about and from other people for whom the traditional monogamous, one-and-only-one mentality simply didn't work – and to feel acceptance and even joy in that, not shame! Not every story is going to resonate with every person. At least one dynamic that was given as one that could be applied, that of a relationship where one or more partner holds a “veto power” over another, is one I personally feel to be completely unethical regardless of whether all the people involved are fully informed and consenting – but that choice of course belongs to the people involved. The sheer variety and combination of ideas and situations makes this book worth reading, though as the author notes in a foreward, her sample size was small and heavily skewed towards a white, Gen-X or millennial population. The overall takeaway is that regardless of the relationship dynamic details, 100% honesty and a TON of communication is required – no assumptions.I started by listening to the audio of this and at not quite halfway transitioned to a hard copy because I wanted to be able to take some notes and highlight things.