Snow and Mistletoe

Hahahahahahahahaha OOOOOHHHHHH, BOY.

Have you ever read something SO cringe-inducing that you just couldn't put it down because how the hell could you POSSIBLY pass up the chance for this good of a laugh? Because that was 100% me with this novella. WOW. It's not that the writing voice itself is bad—a bit cheesy, but nothing awful—but the dialogue and the hero of the story? YIKES.

So, Snow and Mistletoe is about these two people who have fallen in love over the telephone, and now they're finally meeting up, but one of them has a big secret: he's covered in scars from a car wreck and suffers tremendous insecurities due to the injuries. It started off pretty well, and I was actually really fascinated and thought there might be an interesting, dramatic plot to unfold around his self-image issues. NOPE.

Instead, we just get some really cheesy, mediocre sex scenes with a lot of REALLY bad dialogue. I dunno, I mean, if your kink is talking about pregnancy during sex scenes, then this might work better for you, but I literally laughed through the entire thing because it's so bad. Alex's inner monologue is just so obsessed with impregnating this poor young girl (who, I should add, was a virgin before they had sex, but they then proceed to have sex once an hour, for the rest of the night and WTF, HAVE MERCY).

On a more serious note, though, Alex's internal monologue is also super rape-y with a lot of thoughts on how if he gets her pregnant, she can't leave him; he wants to chain her to him; he'll never live without her after this one night together, blah blah blah. So, heads up on that note. Also, here's a gem for you from Noelle's POV:

It should be freaking me out, but thinking that he's been stalkerish makes me feel warm inside. Like he's got all these little dirty secrets about me just for himself.