Ratings14
Average rating4.6
[cw: Spoilerfatphobia, bullying, emotional child abuse, animal abuse]4/5Funny coincidence to see another [b:Starfish 40611543 Starfish Akemi Dawn Bowman https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/books/1529682481l/40611543.SY75.jpg 49731957] featuring an emotionally abusive relationship with a mother. I have a soft spot for Bowman's novel and a poor relationship with my own mother (involving fatphobia, too), and that's what colors my feelings here: I love 75% of this book, but the conclusion felt unfulfilling. Ellie's vulnerability and journey to empowerment are beautiful. She starts off shy and drowning, and through sessions with a rad therapist and the support of a small in-group, learns to love herself and make room to breathe. Her bullies include generic school bullies, strangers, siblings, but most prominently her own mother. That is the relationship with the most tension in the book: it's heartbreaking whenever Ellie highlights things her mother says or does to her, but worst and most emotional is when Ellie admits Spoilerthat her mother doesn't love her, and that's what moms are supposed to do. This is why the conclusion falls flat: SpoilerEllie stands up for herself and confronts her mother, and her mother apologizes, but what changes will she actually be putting into place? What therapies will the mother go through to address her fatphobia and how she has been hurting her daughter for so long without realizing it? What about their other children? Both parents have been aware of that bullying and didn't do much to stop it aside from one scene in the book where Ellie's brother is grounded for a month, a thread that is not brought up again - and the brother mocks her after it.Also unsatisfying is the tacked on nature of the final confrontation with the school bullies, who straight up kidnap Ellie's dog and face no repercussions for this. Where are the parents or authorities here?This is a good debut. I'm glad I listened to the audiobook, which had a sweet and vulnerable portrayal. The verse served it well.