Straight Jacket

A bit less interesting than [b:The Velvet Rage: Overcoming the Pain of Growing Up Gay in a Straight Man's World 49418 The Velvet Rage Overcoming the Pain of Growing Up Gay in a Straight Man's World Alan Downs https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/books/1442026718l/49418.SX50.jpg 48337] and perhaps a lot more depressing, this book shows the state of the occidental gay world and the damages caused by depression, drugs, addictions, ... explored through the lens of the childhood trauma we encounter growing up in a world that still doesn't let us be who we are.Nevertheless this book was really insightful, as I learned a lot about some of the coping mechanisms I used through years: alcohol (of course), sex (as validation) and sometimes relationships. Understanding where I came from, why I acted in some ways and what were the root causes was really interesting and I learned a lot. I'm also so grateful to have evolved by seeking help when I was at rock bottom and to not have fallen in worse addictions.Not all depressing, this book provides also solutions to our problems: a focus on real LGBT education within schools, LGBT places where people could meet and talk, exchange as human beings and not potential baits, places reserved for young LGBT to allow them to mind people of their age and form bonds, questioning also our behavior and the things we don't want to face (sex and drugs addictions hidden behind a “sex positive” discourse for example, accepting the rampant depression between LGBT and not trying to hide it, ...). There's still a lot of things to work on and while things have evolved during the last years, the road ahead is still quite long. But I really hope that one day, young LGBT people will be able to learn who they are without having to go through so much hurt, hiding and lies. Until then, I'm crossing fingers and will try to do what I can on my side.“Like the Terminator, we learn to scan new environments for potential threats. Can we be ourselves? Do we have to tone down our mannerisms? Can we mention our partners? Is this bus safe for us? Can I come out in this new job?”

Ive read “The Velvet Rage” by Alan Downs and by and large i found this book built on the ideas covered there. I found much of the stories to be impactful and at times quite troubling. Being gay in a heteronormative society is not easy, but add the macho aggression found here in Australia and it changes it to a very bleak place.

I was at times affected and effected by the plight of the people discussed in the book. It brought back many many memories from my past, not all bad but mainly painful.

My criticism of the book is that the honest portrayal of gay life could well terrify young readers. It did paint a pretty bleak picture, it was honest and accurate but ....

My only other observation was that the first 2/3 of the book explore the issues and really brought up some strong feelings for me. The final part outlines places to seek help (in the Uk) and some ideas for solutions. My problem here is that the solutions posted often were in relation to drug or alcohol related issues. If your issues are in relation to just mental health the suggestions were a lot more limited and sadly less helpful.

As i said to my therapist when discussing how upset parts of the book made me, i really hoped the book would give some innovative new insights to help me. It did a great job of highlighting issues and getting you to consider how these issues impact on your life. It just didn't seem to follow through with solutions from a mental health perspective.