The Fire Never Goes Out: A Memoir in Pictures

These lines from 2018 hit hard:

The posts encouraged a narrative that I disagreed with as much as I desperately sought to live up to it: that my accomplishments and my youth gave me value, that I was always in the upward climb, that burnout was an easily resolved footnote. It was as shortsighted as it was unsustainable.

I was doing everything right, I thought: I was working out, going to therapy, taking breaks. I had an incredibly kind and patient partner who was always there for me. I didn't understand why I couldn't just, through force of will, make myself okay.

For so long I'd put all my personal value in my success, as much as I knew that I shouldn't. I had climbed so high, never really stopping to rest, and I was so scared of failing—I didn't think I'd survive it.

I didn't know that failing was exactly what I needed.